LURK

He even tried to bite my mom, twice. And last week some steroid guy wanted to fight me bc 'gus jumped up at him to sniff the mop dog said 'roid/meth abuser was carrying.
The KOL
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 17:40:09 (EDT)

It does include the Rev. Heat's Jonny Quest and someone called Tanya Donelly on Josie & the Pussycats.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 16:27:50 (EDT)

note to self- add this one to bad things to say...
"Don't you have some other crimes you have to take care of?"
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:56:15 (EDT)

Last time I saw QOC, we were both moved to the verge of tears at the end of 'planes trains and automobiles'.
The Sneak
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:54:43 (EDT)

Lurk #162,000
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:48:45 (EDT)

'What does it mean when the itch spreads to the anus...?'
ancient chong-like proverb say- boy who go to bed with itchy azz, wake up with sh!tty finga.
WiF my finga
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:46:17 (EDT)

Last two times I saw the QOC she was clutching a pillow to her gut (presumably to keep potentially errant organs from escaping) and sipping at a Corona with the other hand, which leaves no hands free for lurking.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:42:22 (EDT)

No.
boris
- Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:39:30 (EDT)

You know QOC ain't got the time for lurking. Her phenomenal weight loss and her recovered ability to drink will leave her busy fighting off potential suitors/pretenders to the throne. Plus, I don't think she ever even turns that 'puter on.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:35:30 (EDT)

is Snotmail down for anyone else?
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:32:08 (EDT)

Vic, eat me.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:28:10 (EDT)

as Chi Pig (aka "Kenny") once sang, "into the pit!"
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 15:25:19 (EDT)

Speaking of steamy pits, how's the QOC? Think she'll be lurking during convalescence?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 14:54:14 (EDT)

What does it mean when the itch spreads to the anus...?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 14:53:05 (EDT)

My thighs are feeling pretty steamy right now--but then again so are my pits!
WR
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 14:51:04 (EDT)

better headline- When 13 Inches Is Too Much
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 14:21:19 (EDT)

I'll bring the dental dams, you bring the harness
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 13:28:46 (EDT)

My treat! Legs and eggs! Tomorrow a.m. at Newport "Creamery"
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 13:10:52 (EDT)

You can't fire us, we got contracts

Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:37:14 (EDT)

creamy thighs, steamy thighs, dental dams (and harnesses), and now MJ dun gone and mentioned strip joints. That's it, I'm depositing my check at the 1st G-String & Crust Bank tomorrow.
WiF-o-soggy-ones
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:29:07 (EDT)

More "layoffs" to come....
Dick Tweed
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:27:21 (EDT)

the mountain came to Dumhammed?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:23:45 (EDT)

No. Leave the pencils. Get out. Now.
Tweed
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:17:09 (EDT)

Before I go, everyone should watch the 1990 Dudley Moore movie "crazy people". It's a classic.
Chong Lee
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:05:57 (EDT)

Thank God. I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I'll have my pencil case cleaned out by friday.
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:04:20 (EDT)

Chong, sorry but we're gonna have to let YOU go. You're fired.
Boss Tweed
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 12:00:39 (EDT)

Jeez MJ you gonna let this one go?
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:56:03 (EDT)

It's too convoluted to explain, but this...

led to this (or was it the other way around?) Might I further suggest you start with The Duck Discriminator in your exploration of this bizarro site.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:56:00 (EDT)

Chong Humor > Parenting Skills.
. WHEN THE HIKER'S NAMED SVEN
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:50:09 (EDT)

when the opening band has used up all your stage banter before you take the spotlight it sucks
he he he .......
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:47:35 (EDT)

yeah I'm in
yeti spaghetti
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:40:42 (EDT)

Reports are coming in that guitar-playing blond dude MEAN JOE from BENNY SIZZLER got a boner from watching MODERN MARVELS. "I don't know man, I mean if it was HISTORIES MYSTERIES sure but this makes no sense. I think I need to rethink my life or at least my choice of programming."
SOO dead...
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:39:31 (EDT)

PS to Chef, welcome home. Sorry about the long meat hours. Come surfing when you're free.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:37:04 (EDT)

What up lurkers? Words. Anyway...Chong I KNEW Chong Jr. was due soon. I didn' know it was TODAY. You better hurry up and go to a strip joint NOW cuz you NEVER going to one again. Also, is the PLEC LURKING? He'll have all the latest on Geno seein' as he did some heavy fishin' with him jist last week in Minisody. ALSO, who's the dude that road across the border with gene to Toronto? I remember him going across the border with Atom Von Zippa from the GooGooDolls camp and then us get tailed by border patrol for two hours after we picked him up at the Tim Horton's.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:34:32 (EDT)

yeah, nice neck; dirty, an even hairy 8-back; Drugsy how's your mumsy?
v!c lee
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:21:45 (EDT)

I've been working 18 hour days for 35 days in a row. Now I'm in Delaware, moving my shiznit to Swansea....I see a light at the end of the tunnel and will catch up with you all soon....I am hate the meat...............
tired chef
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:17:18 (EDT)

better headline- Longpig Kills Longer Pig
WiF of stringy bacon
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 11:15:45 (EDT)

Where'd I go?
Necksy
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 09:46:39 (EDT)

and don't go peddling yer dental dam harnesses in Alabama
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 09:46:34 (EDT)

Maybe this pic will work
Lesnar, who is 6-foot-4 or 5 and weighs 285-290 pounds with almost no body fat, recently ran a 4.7 second 40-yard dash, wowing NFL scouts.

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 09:43:39 (EDT)

no linky for them pics I guess, here be way too many pics of him
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 09:14:29 (EDT)

Auspicious signs in the wind for the Vikes. Last night when the convention roll call got to Minnesota, and they would have been the ones to give Kerry the votes to put him over the top, they instead defered to Ohio. So they went from hitting the winning vote to be the absolute last state to cast their votes. I fear this may be a sign of the season to come. And iffen that weren't enough, a WWE thingy called 'The Next Big Thing' has signed with the Vikes. We're gonna need another thigh adjective fer this mutant.

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 09:11:21 (EDT)

I did not start this thread. Nice words about GINO though... Seems that some people remember Boneryard.
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 08:59:14 (EDT)

If Chong Jr. was a library book I'd be in trouble.....
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 29, 2004 at 06:22:58 (EDT)

yeah and true fans also want cheerleaders to wear muumuus and solve calculus problems during the game.
boris
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 20:54:16 (EDT)

not a single comment on that mega-mullet?
v!c
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 19:39:50 (EDT)

yeti+Friday, August 6=in the area
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 19:26:31 (EDT)

True fans take the Salad Creme out of the pantry and put it in the bathroom cabinet where it belongs.
Means
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:49:12 (EDT)

Throwing a football bone to Wif and posted a pic of one enigmatic and hot football retiree

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:48:28 (EDT)

Bucky Dent was cute.
Yogi
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:46:24 (EDT)

Listen, Vic Boris (if that IS your name...) TRUE sports fans care what their players look like unclothed.
A true fan
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:45:31 (EDT)

i care not a whit about the size of young gabriel's ~~breastststss~~ or calvin junior reese's ~~pieces~~. just hit the ball. NObody batting two-fitty is cute.
~~vic~~ boris <jeremy@parasites.com>
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:39:55 (EDT)

this is mimas, a moon of saturn

this is not
how weird is that?
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:36:57 (EDT)

Hey BS cruise director. Mind if the Sneak stops at your port of call to snag a Comedy cd at some point?
The Sneak
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:33:30 (EDT)

Maybe I can set him up with the Marlin.
T(highs) of S(team)
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:14:14 (EDT)

Hey, how come no one ever mentions my name when speaking of creamy thighs?
Gabe kapler <photoshop@action.net>
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 18:07:57 (EDT)

WiF, remind me to give you a verbal noogy next time I catch wif o you
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:59:13 (EDT)

Pokey's thighs look kinda... twig-like
gettin twiggy wittit
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:57:28 (EDT)

better headlines?- Mother Performs Rhinoplasty.... or... Rhino Baby Stumpy Stomper
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:55:43 (EDT)

Forget the thighs, behold POKEY, he of powerful LOINS!

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:55:13 (EDT)

Verishrek don't look like he gotz steamy thighs though, so don't give it up yet.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:52:58 (EDT)

Dammit. It's clear that I will never have a chance with Varitek as long as he's in love with a green, furry mascot.
TS
smitten in Miami, USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:27:42 (EDT)

Could it be Deep Throat has bitten the dust?
WiF of watergate
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 17:11:58 (EDT)

any yetis around friday 6ish?
BS cruise director
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 16:38:05 (EDT)

WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 16:20:30 (EDT)

funny the sh!t to happen upon on the web

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 16:13:18 (EDT)

damn you and your d!rty m!nd
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 15:45:59 (EDT)

the Big Eunuch demanded trade by his next stot (friday). methinks he goes nowhere til offseason or is in bronks by midnight. one or t'other.
boris
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 15:20:34 (EDT)

dreamy as they come

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 15:19:51 (EDT)

that green thing gotz dreamy thighs?
verishrek?
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 14:06:19 (EDT)

for you, TS

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 13:45:10 (EDT)

do i HAVE to like it? dirty, what's the latest on that dandy Randy J.? as for Chong the Occidental Asian, it's hard to believe in a Mini-Chong...
yeti
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 13:43:35 (EDT)

yeti, you'll get nothing and like it!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 13:37:35 (EDT)

agreed re: chong. he'd be second new father in our rotiss league this week.
boris
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 13:37:33 (EDT)

Hey anybody seen CHONG around? I'm betting dollars to diapers his baby done popped and he's waist high in the shit as I type...
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 13:36:18 (EDT)

"I've got to stop drinking. It's gonna be fun," the 40-year-old widow of grunge rock star Kurt Cobain told a mob of reporters outside the Los Angeles courthouse following the brief proceeding. "It's profound, it's deep."

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 11:38:06 (EDT)

Fire in the Bucket. All hands on deck
WiF of charred industrial waste
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 11:34:15 (EDT)

yeah MJ I got an idea or two
yet! in a bottle
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 11:20:02 (EDT)

Crotched mountain might want to check into a dental dam.
Just sayin'
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 10:03:19 (EDT)

Squimpy is back!
KOL
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 09:49:14 (EDT)

This story contains the word crotched, but in no way involves harnesses of a dental sort. Would you believe a treehouse that's wheelchair friendly?

Printed in large, bold letters, the last rule, “NO GROWN-UPS ALLOWED” illustrates that for all of its innovative touches, this is still simply a tree house.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 09:43:25 (EDT)

Sorry bout that TS, I was actually surprised when that one popped up without the usual dirty look from my puter's filter. figured iffen it slipped past Stepford Co it would go under the radar anywhere. Guess it means someone in your IT department had "visited" the site and added it to the not-list (after purchasing his anal dental dam harness of course)
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 09:26:07 (EDT)

The new Toyota Cor(nh)olla only goes in reverse.
Jim Ed
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 08:05:01 (EDT)

(####) |U| Attitude Adjustment |V| Vote for Burns (#######) |W| Who the Hell are You? |V| Xterminate Bugs (#########) |Y| Your Saxophone Lesson |Z| Zoom Home for TV (#########) |\| UserBullying n' More! |'| Marge's Stuff __&__ (#########) / \ (#########) |\/\/\/| /\ /\ /\ /\ M M (#########) | | \ \/ \/ \--. .----/ \----. | (o)(o) (##)(o)(o) | | \_ / \ / c .---_) (##) )_ | (o)(o) (o)(o) /--. .--\ (o)(o) /--. | |.___| (##) ,____\ c _) _c / \ () / | \__/ (#) / | ,___| /____, ) < > (c_) < /_____\ | | | / \ /____\ /___\____/___\ /_____/ \ oooooo /____\ ooooo /| |\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \

USA - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 at 07:19:40 (EDT)

WR
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 22:48:53 (EDT)

The Toyota A-Rod cries whenever it gets near an intersection.
Ray C.
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 21:50:28 (EDT)

i swear i only copied one paragraph
oops
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 20:30:22 (EDT)

Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink or just look around. . The inventors explain in the patent that they want drivers to have more than a one-note horn and on-off headlights to signal other drivers. The horn sounds the same, they write, whether a driver is asking for permission to cut in front of another car or showing gratitude for having been allowed to cut in front, so other people often do not know what the honking is about. . That was not good enough for the inventors - Kenji Mori, Naoto Kitagawa, Akihiro Inukai and Simon Humphries - who work for Toyota Jidosha Kabushiki Kaisha of Japan, which owns the U.S. patent issued last month. In it, they describe a car with an antenna that wags, an adjustable body height, headlights that vary in intensity and hood slits and ornamentation designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears, all of which could glow with colored lights to create "moods" and physical features. . The inventors say that these features on cars will make driving more entertaining. In the patent they write that "as traffic grows heavier and vehicle use increases, vehicles having expression functions, such as crying and laughing like people and other animals do, could create a joyful, organic atmosphere rather than the simple comings and goings of inorganic vehicles." . "Such emotive, organic vehicles," they add, "could also lead occupants to have great affinity for their vehicles and make the driving experience more comfortable." . The car comes with a computer and software system that detects road and vehicle conditions like steering angle, braking or speed. Drivers or passengers can also enter information about their moods into the system. But it is the car that expresses an emotional reaction. . "The headlights, antenna and windshield and exterior panels can be regarded as the vehicle's eyes, tail and a body surface," the inventors write. As a baseline, they describe a "sleeping" car as one with "the shutters, or eyes, closed, the antenna limp, and the glass and exterior panel are a dark color, and the vehicle height is lowered." An "awake" car would have "open shutters, headlights fringed with complementary 'eyebrows,' an erect antenna and brighter glass and exterior panels." . Eyebrows and eyelids would be created by lights appearing above the headlights, and a "tear" would be displayed by another light below the headlights. The patent says any of the lights can remain on for a period of time, blink on and off or fade from bright to faint. The eyelids can close in any direction - top to bottom, bottom to top and diagonally. . The eyebrow shape can change, and the brows, lids and tears can be featured in different colors, the patent says. . Data on the state of the car, the road and the driver are collected and stored in the car's computer, which attributes points to certain factors that might contribute to an angry response. When enough points are accumulated to indicate anger, the computer's software will trigger a reaction in the car's appearance. . The patent includes a chart that shows how the car might display a number of emotions. It shows categories that correlate driver reaction, road or car condition to color and position of features like the "eyebrow," the antenna, the headlights and the vehicle height. . For anger, the hood lighting color glows red, the eyebrow lights up, and the headlights, antenna and height are in standard position. . But if the driver is joyful, the car may "wink" to let another car go first by changing the hood lighting and the eyebrow to orange, shading the headlight so it appears half-closed and causing the antenna to vibrate from left to right as if it were wagging. . The chart also indicates that a car with mechanical trouble might "cry" by displaying dark blue hood lighting, a shaded headlight, a lighted eyebrow and a blinking "tear" light. And the car can express surprise by having its hood lights turn orange, its eyebrows light up red, the headlights shaded and the vehicle height lowered in the rear. . The inventors say their idea, which was awarded patent No. 6,575,593, is not just for cars but could also be used on motorcycles, ships or aircraft. . The New York Times The expression "road rage" usually refers to infuriated drivers who lose their temper and lash out at other motorists. But what if a car could also express anger, crouching low on its wheelbase and glowering with red headlights like a lion about to pounce? . Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink or just look around.
my car wants to kick your ass
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 20:28:47 (EDT)

but i thought you liked pokey, MJ?
Squirty
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 20:19:14 (EDT)

pancake batter. more sterile.
Bis Quik
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 20:17:31 (EDT)

Hey, I'm just a lookin' for someone to squirt a little somethin' that smells like sperm into my mouth. Anybody got any ideas?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 19:46:22 (EDT)

wake dex is in delawhere tomorry to help schlep the chef what is iron to his new swansea digs.
boris
- Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 19:35:08 (EDT)

I'd rather not wear the stilletoes. If you don't mind.
stilleto v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 18:25:38 (EDT)

I knew you kids would enjoy that story--what does that say about us?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 18:23:36 (EDT)

Vic, nothing matters on you but the stilettos.
TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 18:00:33 (EDT)

dental dam or vaginal/anal dam? you tell me
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:50:08 (EDT)

I'd like to add to your cart baby.
Mike harNess
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:48:20 (EDT)

Oh man, take it off line, dude. Correspondence of that nature is best kept private, for the benefit of all.
Internet Decency Police
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:18:17 (EDT)

TS = in hot water for clicking on harness link at work
TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:16:00 (EDT)

Did someone say "Thighmaster"?
Suzanne Somers
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:13:09 (EDT)

TS=steamy thighs
Thighmaster 3000
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 17:05:54 (EDT)

and if that dentist didn't make ya gag, try and swallow this comment from the chimp

"Blacks are gagging on the donkey but not yet ready to swallow the elephant."
George W. Bush at the National Urban League
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 16:52:37 (EDT)

and that would give a whole new meaning to harness racing
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 16:39:09 (EDT)

truce accepted... begrudgingly
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 16:37:18 (EDT)

TRUCE: Varitek = dreamy thighs, Sharipova = creamy thighs
TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 16:05:04 (EDT)

note to self-
rinse and spit, OK.
rinse and swallow, bad
self
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 15:50:14 (EDT)

Five of the six patients testified Friday. The first, a 40-year-old woman, said she objected when Hall began to put a substance from a syringe into her mouth during a procedure on Sept. 4, telling him: "That smells like sperm."
v!c says, "that's whacked"
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:47:00 (EDT)

Sorry TS, but Sharapova=dreamy thighs

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:45:15 (EDT)

Speaking of SPAM, anyone seen Dexter?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:42:15 (EDT)

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LET THE DENTIST SQUIRT A SYRINGE INTO YOUR MOUTH.
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:37:47 (EDT)

fuck.
TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:27:23 (EDT)

TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:26:58 (EDT)

and yes it was OUR little Timmy are you high?
v!c n' the yetim'n
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 14:16:28 (EDT)

What, are you fuckin' HIGH?
Hymers
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 13:43:29 (EDT)

wow
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 13:29:11 (EDT)

Alright here's a guy so fupped duck that I can't believe he isn't already a lurker.

In the Kennedy assassination ya got yer one-gun and multiple-gun theorists. Well this guy, with a shocking amount of detail, expounds on the three-Namor theory over the one-Namor theory. And his diatribe also includes the family history of Namor, Namora, and little Namorita (fer real) This guy getz WAY deep into Namor theory, and I mean like Namor (whether there be three of him or one) is a living, swimming, corporeal, gill/lung, in-the-flesh/scale man/fish. Here's a sampling from deep into the treatise. (talkin on the 100 year cycle of Atlantean appearances- 1820, 1920...)

Notice how everything seems to cluster around in the twenties? Atlanna came to be exiled in the early twenties'. Lori Lemaris met Clark Kent in college in the twenties. THE MARACOT DEEP, THE SUNKEN WORLD, "Shadow Over Innsmouth"---all in the twenties. Kathulos' nefarious activities first came to the attention of authorities in the twenties'. There seems to have been a deliberate move by the government to suppress and destroy all evidence of the undersea civilizations around that time.
WiF of soggy namors
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 13:12:18 (EDT)

Enterprise Rent A Car employee in Cranston RI attempts to extort $3000 from a customer.

I fucking hate that company with a level of hatred not found in humans since Germany and the late 1930's.
The Sneak
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 11:43:49 (EDT)

No one was killed is this video.
oops
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 10:53:57 (EDT)

dreamy thighs? Has there been another Sharipova sighting?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 10:34:28 (EDT)

Awwww, Vic, do I sense a bit of jealousy over the "dreamy thighs" comment?
TS
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 08:51:44 (EDT)

Clinton had the best line of DNC day one- Strength and wisdom are not opposing values.
WiF of a campaign slogan
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 08:47:11 (EDT)

Now if I time this right...

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 08:38:17 (EDT)

USA - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 08:12:38 (EDT)

i just seen one o' them long-haired hippie born-again freaks in the stands at camden yard with the sign that said, you guessed it, "Tron 3:16"
boris
- Monday, July 26, 2004 at 19:57:37 (EDT)

Vic you ignant slut, a persusal of log authors proves it WAS you who posted that Little Timmy shiz. Well good fo you. But anyway, was he talking about OUR LITTLE TIMMY??!!!
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 19:28:06 (EDT)

I just heard someone say "curry favor" and never ever say "dreamy thighs".
yeti
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 18:37:35 (EDT)

that was Vic commenting the little Timmy comment...dirty, you hear it?
v!c
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 18:36:33 (EDT)

Boris, I HEARD THE LITTLE TIMMY REFERENCE AND I WENT WHAT THE FUCK TO THREE DEAF DOGS ON THE COUCH!!!!! Oh and tell me about it TS, all the guys are swooning for Tek now, but come on! It's all about POKEY!!!!
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 18:22:15 (EDT)

(this is a really delayed reaction, but this is the first time I have been online since the game on Saturday) I heart Varitek even more than before.
TS
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 18:02:56 (EDT)

saturday afternoon, bonnet shores, route 1A, maroon, subaru, forester, RI plate:

CESSNA
boris
- Monday, July 26, 2004 at 18:00:41 (EDT)

I'm a little teapot short and stout
here is my handle and here is my spout...

WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:54:30 (EDT)

No Bill G@tes here. I just plugged the frikkin card in the side and watch the little bugger do the rest on its own.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:49:59 (EDT)

MyDoom MyShroom, I need search results! Pronto!
yeti
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:48:41 (EDT)

did anyone catch the Joe Buck/Tim McCarver "Little Timmy" comment during Saturday's game? foul ball...Irish brogue...
v!c
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:29:07 (EDT)

WtF stop talkin like bill g@ytes.
boris
- Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:29:02 (EDT)

A revolution is taking place in the air force: ten years after the IAF was forced to open the doors to its prestigious training course to women, the air force is showing initiative and is showing off a unique combat squadron that composed solely by women.
no pics. dammit.
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:27:55 (EDT)

If proper shelter is unavailable, people should crouch with their heels together so that as the current comes through the ground it will come up through the foot and ankle and, hopefully, down the other foot into the ground. If the feet aren't touching, the current can come into the body.
head between knees, kiss @ss bye-bye
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:27:15 (EDT)

Ask Kevin Shinick. In "I Love Paris," premiering tonight off- Broadway, he portrays the "Simple Life" star as simply as possible — as himself, a 33-year-old man in white briefs and black socks. No drag.
"It's about the words," Shinick says. "I think they summarize all that Paris stands for."
words like.......SKANK!
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:25:09 (EDT)

I ain't got a Tandy laptop, it's a RANDY laptop.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:24:23 (EDT)

If you're referring to my WiFi drive-by, I was driven to those actions. I opened a timed test online with an hour of library time left. Now every other test this schmuck gave had an hour as est. time to finish and I'd finished all of them in about a half hour. I open up this last one and the est time is 2 1/2 hrs. Not good, I tell ye. So at closing I had to log out (with the clock running) and get where I could finish it fast. Of the couple dozen hotspots I tried to hook up to only one was encrypted (and I was just propmted to encrypt my own signal) and only Brown's site had password protection. Just as I got a good lock on a signal I was ready to give up and set out on foot with the laptop open poking my head into the doorways of the various eateries along the street. As it was I ended parked on the corner of Thayer and Meeting, blocking the sidewalk no less.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:21:54 (EDT)

Please do not use Msr. Wif's name in association with our company's great computer line.
The Tandy Corp.
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:09:53 (EDT)

Word on the street is that the lurk is busting me for making music, sweet music.
Steven Segal
LA, CA USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 16:04:30 (EDT)

WiF=Tandy-@ss
v!c
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 15:44:35 (EDT)

Wif, you are out of control! Are you going to end up like that hacker Kevin Mitnik or whatever his name was, and not be allowed near even a Tandy TRS-80?
Disgruntled Lurker
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 14:58:04 (EDT)

gives a whole new meaning to Popeye's girl's name eh? It should, because the name refers to this song or at least the old joke about sailors going to see their girl Olive while out at sea.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:58:23 (EDT)

from a sea chantey I know intimately if not lyrically completely...
Oh Olive Oil's the girl for me
late at night on the lonely sea
She oils me up and rubs me down
and keeps me warm till home I come

So pop the cork and fill the glass
run her up the mizzenmast
Oh Olive Oil's the girl for me
late at night on the lonely sea
WiF of seamen song
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:54:44 (EDT)

Croatian MPs were in for a shock when they found another MP watching an X-rated movie in the parliament when he was supposed to be participating in a debate on road safety.
my cone could use a little traffic
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:48:40 (EDT)

“Songs From The Crystal Cave”, Steven Seagal’s much-awaited first album, has been released!!!
As a “blues fan”, Steven Seagal admires and has been inspired by some of the greatest musicians ever, such as Curtis Mayfield, Lightning Hopkins, Jimi Hendrix, B.B. King or Robert Johnson. Mixed with world music’s strong influence, his “blues world” compositions appear as natural, subtle, and authentic.
but is it as good as Hassle the Hoff?
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:47:05 (EDT)

wow
v!c
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:46:41 (EDT)

By the way

= Vic = FUNNY
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:46:33 (EDT)

Fuck all you all. The FUCKING SOX!!!!!!!! I happen to know that a lurker is on it's way to BALL T. MORE for some up close and personal Boston BIRD SLAPPIN"!!!
Mean Joe
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:42:58 (EDT)

this looks way more dangerous than penis hugging

WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:42:46 (EDT)

“Tankers usually stay for six to eight months out at sea. You could just imagine how the yearning for sex increases. With so much time in their hands, sailors prepare for shore leave by having humps and butterflies added on,” Hernandez said.
um, v!c, is there something you aren't telling us about your...
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:40:21 (EDT)

He has been under psychiatric care since police found him Tuesday running naked around a motel not far from his home.
v!c
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:36:40 (EDT)

The festival celebrates the vanquishing of a demon that lived in a woman's vagina and would bite off the penises of her lovers! According to legend, a local craftsman fashioned a steel phallus which broke the demon's teeth.
i have seen this beast
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:34:47 (EDT)

not quite dead, maybe squirming like a chicken on the floor of a Pilgrims Pride plant.
WiF-o-chicken-livers
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:32:11 (EDT)

someone killed this here lurk. dead.
yet!
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 13:27:47 (EDT)

key phrase for the ketchup debate that is about too ensue- "un-American activities" not as has been massively misquoted this morn as "un-American" sans "activities". Check the vid yerself
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 11:55:41 (EDT)

wow
JJ
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 11:18:41 (EDT)

So when they find Lori Hacking's body does she become Lori Hacked?
WiF of conjugation confusion
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 10:58:47 (EDT)

better headline- There once was a despot named bush...
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 10:56:32 (EDT)

still think plants don't have feelings? check out this pissed off sunflower...

WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 09:55:49 (EDT)

Three guys, one from San Diego, one from Chicago, and one from Boston, are sitting in a bunker in Baghdad after a firefight with the locals. The talk turns to home and baseball and their wishing they'd know they'd make it out of that hell-hole to see their favorite teams play again. And miraculously God appears before them and their hopes rise that they might be getting out of Iraq alive.
So God says, "Easy boys, I'm not getting you out of here, but I figured you were all so down-hearted I'd at least let you know you'd make it home alive. And on top of that I'll answer one question from each of you."
So the guy from San Diego speaks up and asys,"Hey God, can you tell me when the Padres win the World Series?"
And God replies, "Sorry my son, but not in your lifetime."
So then guy from Chicago speaks up, "Hey God, how about the Cubs, when will they win the World Series?"
And God says, "Sorry my son, but not in your children's lifetime."
So the guy from Boston asks, "God, when will my Red Sox finally break the curse and win the World Series?"
And God says, "Sorry my son, but not in my lifetime."
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 09:05:19 (EDT)

two words- SHOVE IT
WiF
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 08:50:13 (EDT)

POLICE RESPONDED TO A CALL AROUND MIDNIGHT OF FOUR PEOPLE PARACHUTING NEAR THE BUILDING. THE REPORT ... APPARENTLY FROM ONE OF THE SECURITY FORCES POSTED AT THE FLEETCENTER... INITIALLY SAID THE PARACHUTERS LANDED ON OR NEAR THE TIP O'NEILL BUILDING. THAT'S THE FEDERAL BUILDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE FLEETCENTER. SECURITY FORCES SCRAMBLED TO CHECK IT OUT. BOSTON POLICE WOULD ONLY TELL US THEY WERE LOOKING INTO THE MATTER... BUT WOULD NOT CONFIRM WHETHER THE REPORT WAS TRUE.
Chong
USA - Monday, July 26, 2004 at 07:32:28 (EDT)

- Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 09:54:05 (EDT)

- Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 09:44:31 (EDT)

"I wish I could have controlled my emotions better. I get hit (by pitches) a lot, but I smelled something funny."
boris
- Sunday, July 25, 2004 at 09:36:01 (EDT)

THE FIGHT!!!!!
LOOK!
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 23:06:55 (EDT)

oh my god oh my god oh my GOD! I missed the FIGHT! I had niece. I had to watch HILLARY DUFF MOVIE!! I couldn't see game until 4th inning. FOX goes right into COPS (regularly scheduled programming) right after gane so no NESN style re-cap for ole MEAN JOE!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!! WHY THE FIGHT??!!!!WHAT A FUCKING GAME!!!!
Eoj Naem
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 23:01:15 (EDT)

was in some gotdam g@y-@ss bar on thames st when fenway brawl erupted. thank dog there were no yankee fans in the bar. they woulda been kilt SOOOO dead. and don't think the sweet joy of seeing mendoza get the WIN and maria rivera get the LOSS was lost on mean joe. it's only one game, but a-rod fights like my 3-year-old niece.
boris
- Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 21:35:31 (EDT)

I am currently coming to you pirate wireless from Thayer St. Got booted from the library before I could finish an online test and with the clock ticking, I cruised T Street till I hit an open connection. There's gotta be twenty hotspots in the area, some protected from the likes of me, some not. Well, with one hardy pirate "AAAAARRRRGGGHH" I'm off to imbibe. later y'all.
WiF (truly WiFing fer a change)
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 18:09:07 (EDT)

It bent the foremast (shown) back about 20 degrees, tore the foreword firefighting station (also shown) off the deck (rails, monitor, platform and all) and threw it against the face of the house. It also bent all the catwalks back severely.
wow
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 14:57:37 (EDT)

How does the widget in a beer can work?
liquid nitrogen in guiness!
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 14:13:49 (EDT)

This highly-modified 1983 Pontiac Trans Am is an original screen-used hero car used during the second season of the hit TV series. Instantly recognizable with its working scanner in the front and highly futuristic interior, this vehicle was arguably the star of the show!
K.I.T.T.
USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 at 14:12:24 (EDT)

good flippin' w/e, lurks
yeti
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 20:16:10 (EDT)

a film for all lurkers, young and old
WR
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 17:48:39 (EDT)

WR. Does this answer your question? Vic.

USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 17:38:35 (EDT)

See any olas gigantes while you were away, Vic?

WR
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 17:20:29 (EDT)

records- non-existent then lost then found then destroyed and now found
WiF of forged docs
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 17:00:09 (EDT)

it's almost like I was never gone...almost...
v!c
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 16:52:44 (EDT)

KoL my most involved automotive chore ever today, completed successfully and without loss of extremities or excess blood. whichever sadistic mofo at GM engineered the bat'ry to be put there on pontiacs can get below me NOW. wtf.
boris badwrench
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 16:28:42 (EDT)

We sell both regular and HO-scale scales here at the Ball Deli.
Jocko
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 16:18:50 (EDT)

better headline- Attempted Impersonation of Tower of Pisa Ends in Tragedy
Electric cables burst into flames as an eight-story office building which was leaning precariously for days in one of Manila's busy commercial districts, collapses Friday July 23, 2004, hours after occupants fled in panic following creaking sounds and bursting water pipes. No injuries were reported but the incident damaged another building across the street.
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:41:04 (EDT)

is that a deli scale? And is puggles cheaper by the pound?
puggle of mugg
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:36:06 (EDT)

I thought I made up the "got poi?" bit, or did one of my personalities steal it? hmmmmm?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:32:53 (EDT)

Hi, I'm Puggle. Is this band any good?

Puggle
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:32:50 (EDT)

It's not on my bumper. I've had it for 3 years or so--from the last trip to Hawaii. You want it? I'll track it down and bring it to the Decatur sometime.
WR
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:25:38 (EDT)

a "got poi?" bumper sticker? you wouldn't kid a kidder now wouldya?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 15:23:07 (EDT)

no, but I got a bumper sticker that says "got poi?"
WR
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 14:44:37 (EDT)

Screw salad cream
Got Poi?

a poi ntment WiF destiny
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 14:30:36 (EDT)

we lost another great. I used to feature Illinois on my jazz show all the time
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:47:43 (EDT)

11/2 the day America either sh!ts or gets off the pot
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:46:32 (EDT)

Hawk season starts Nov. 2nd
Doff
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:19:15 (EDT)

this lurk is chock-full-o-nuts

Lurker J Square L
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:18:37 (EDT)

We get to hunt federal agents?! Cool, where do I sign up?
WiF of gunsmoke
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:11:01 (EDT)

You mean it's long, depressing, and without any chance of a happy ending?
Ex Actly
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 12:10:01 (EDT)

Good thing they removed wolves from the endangered/threatened species list. Just in time for hunting season for republican federal agents.
WR
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:51:36 (EDT)

well it's not like a good D will ever get you a Super Bowl ring.
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:51:08 (EDT)

and boris, Vikes is plenty offensive (like me) it's the trouncing in the other direction that's been depressing
WiF of another losing season on the horizon
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:49:20 (EDT)

"I will eat only these free-roaming chickens," he said with customary anonymity.
Guess Who?
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:47:47 (EDT)

Russian lit? You mean it's long, depressing, and without any chance of a happy ending?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:47:02 (EDT)

good on ya' donzo. punch karim in the throat, stay far away from palmeiro's wood (i hear he takes uppers) and tell ponson i need my atkins diet book back.
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:45:45 (EDT)

WiF, when will you see that being a sox fan = Russian lit?
Donstoyevsky
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:41:43 (EDT)

and comes to a complete stop right where the Vikings offense does....its own 30-yard line.
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:40:07 (EDT)

Ow. You hurt don's head with bouncy word games. Listen. I have to miss tonight's game due to flight times. Am invading enemy territory again (south) and leaving NESN behind. Luckily sat and sun games are on national TV and Television. Will see Pedro's revenge in person at Camden Yards. First non Fenway game since age of 12 at Yankee Stadium 54.
Don Doff
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:39:16 (EDT)

that thing comes sliding in like he plays for a certain Bean Town B-ball team
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:37:59 (EDT)

Hey Zeus ain't me
Zeus's annoying little brother
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:36:11 (EDT)

Jesus H me.
Jesus
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:34:22 (EDT)

this week certainly had it's ups and downs, first the appendix, now this
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:28:38 (EDT)

dear dog on high, what have we unleashed?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:26:24 (EDT)

But the lurkives providewhat might otherwise be forbidden
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:25:02 (EDT)

And i do mean WICKED fotted...

- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:15:28 (EDT)

i'd demonstrate but i still live in fear of the BSTC threats, from the time i made it rain on the lurk and the BSTC sat on my head and wicked fotted.
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:13:23 (EDT)

damn, maybe this
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:12:52 (EDT)

yeah like that. only not.
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:11:49 (EDT)

Like this (WiF crossed fngas)
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:11:24 (EDT)

is this right?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:09:27 (EDT)

but can you make it scroll L >> R?
boris
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:08:28 (EDT)

the right side of the lurk looks empty

WiF

USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:07:54 (EDT)

cool, looks line the lines is racing
WiF nothing better to do
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:05:43 (EDT)

Just passing through
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:01:34 (EDT)

a sweep wouldn't not not suck.
sirob
- Friday, July 23, 2004 at 10:00:10 (EDT)

I feel like just spreading out and relaxing
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 09:44:07 (EDT)

MJ, I promise this week only to consume the meat of free running animals from an all-volunteer flock.
TS
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 09:40:05 (EDT)

If you want split webbie with us. First fill out this form and replace "show" with "website"

Name Of Your Band

How Many People Do You Draw?

Can We Use Your Amps?

Do You Have Strong Onstage Banter?

Phone (day):

Phone (evening):

Fax:

E-mail Address:

Tell Us Why You Deserve To Play With The F.I.D.'s

Has YOUR band been on MRR's top ten list?

Have You Ever Commited a Sex Crime?

Would you like pre-taped applause in your monitors?

When do you want to play?

Where do you want to play?

Can you pay our $500 appearance fee up front?

Other Questions and Comments:

Awesome! Records Inc..
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 09:08:03 (EDT)

I promise not to throw any chickens against the wall, kick any chickens, stomp on any chickens, flail any chickens, or by deed or action cause any chickens any uneccessary agitation...... for a week. Is that good enough MJ?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 08:51:33 (EDT)

Word!
Chong Lee
USA - Friday, July 23, 2004 at 05:29:21 (EDT)

already knew what red, white and black hats meant. now i know brown. anybuddy see Family Guy scene from Tron?
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 23:39:25 (EDT)

if i go veg for a week, will you buy me that lunch i've been waiting, oh, like A YEAR for?
FVckhead <emaciated@lack.food>
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 18:15:54 (EDT)

MJ am HATE lurkers
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 17:47:32 (EDT)

I AM FUCK!!!

USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 17:13:40 (EDT)

Hey, I just remembered. I did my first drive by WiFi last weekend. The damn appendix episode made me forget. I pulled into a parking spot on Wickenden and searched for a signal and got a free connection. I uploaded my homework from the car and was off before the feds could nail me (well sorta). And no, no kiddie porn or masturbatory incidents with the law.
WiF goes pirate
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:58:02 (EDT)

who's not eatin meat this week?
WiF of pork loin on my breath
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:53:41 (EDT)

Cut this off Long Pig

USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:49:36 (EDT)

KOL, fantasizing about a 3 threesome with 2 chicken gorditas from 'Mexico' on Atwells (and maybe let the Labatt blue get in on the action), feels guilty that he is such a insatiable carnivore.
KOL
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:49:22 (EDT)

MJ doesn't even need to click the chicken abuse video link to know what is fuck. Thank you lurk, for eating no meat this week.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:41:15 (EDT)

Well, maybe until tonight anyway. Personal best Monday straight thru till Thurs night, maybe even Friday night!
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:37:09 (EDT)

is she switching to salad cream?
Hot Tomato
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 16:33:39 (EDT)

You're Elvis = WR off the sauce this week
TS
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:58:21 (EDT)

I don't want to enucleated before I die.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:57:17 (EDT)

do the brown smears on my storm doors count as stained glass?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:45:10 (EDT)

The attention to detail is heavenly complete with plastic "stained glass" windows and airbrush artwork which replicates the traditional church. Inside it has an inflatable organ, altar, pulpit, pews, candles and a gold cross. Even the doors are flanked by air-filled angels.
i'm gonna marry my love doll
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:28:25 (EDT)

Who wants some of my yellow rice?
PMRE
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:18:29 (EDT)

Two
Boobs
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 15:07:11 (EDT)

they're real = i'm elvis
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 14:22:08 (EDT)

"It was lust at first sight, and then it was love," the rapper told the media in relation to his new bride.

USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 14:02:51 (EDT)

Would you eat food cooked in your own urine? Food scientists working for the US military have developed a dried food ration that troops can hydrate by adding the filthiest of muddy swamp water or even peeing on it.
well?
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 13:56:55 (EDT)

"Another burning tower, our second in a row,
It looks like the first one is going to implode;
Burning and screaming, Al Qaeda's a disgrace...
But there's a McDonald's five minutes from this place!

Ba ba ba ba ba...I'm lovin' it"
Rejected Fast Food Jingles
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 13:32:15 (EDT)

Gee Lois, our headlines kinda leave a lot to be desired.
Clark Kent
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 13:16:21 (EDT)

excellent. thanks! have attached stickynote suggesting they please donate left arm to a certain CF.
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 13:12:37 (EDT)

from the legislation regarding organ donor/RI license shiz

page 5 line 17-20
(h) An anatomical gift that is not revoked by the donor before death is irrevocable and does not require the consent or concurrence of any person after the donor's death., except in cases where the deceased is under the age of eighteen (18). In cases where the deceased is under the age of eighteen (18), an anatomical gift shall be made as set forth in section 23-18.6-3.
....and yer donor status doesn't expire with yer license either.
WiF a chance I gotz it right this time
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 13:02:27 (EDT)

damn them brackets
WiF apologies for mangled post
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:59:28 (EDT)

from the legislation regarding organ donor/RI license shiz
page 5 line 17-20

...and yer donor status doesn't expire with yer license either. (h) An anatomical gift that is not revoked by the donor before death is irrevocable and does not require the consent or concurrence of any person after the donor's death., except in cases where the deceased is under the age of eighteen (18). In cases where the deceased is under the age of eighteen (18), an anatomical gift shall be made as set forth in section 23-18.6-3.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:58:32 (EDT)

What, me worry?
Alfred E. Steinbrenner
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:50:34 (EDT)

So one smelly fisherman says to another "let's get that 30 pack filled with beers"
Doff
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:49:58 (EDT)

know what's great about getting license renewed? for next five years mine will say weight: 160. so very not close. which brings up question: am now an official organ donor. once you have the heart thing on yr license, and you kick (or get kicked), they can just take shit w/o needing permission from anybody else, right? isn't that the point? someone anyone?
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:33:17 (EDT)

Is it just coincidental that What Is Fuck can be abbreviated WiF?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:18:41 (EDT)

and for those wondering...
sad·do [ sáddō ] (plural sad·dos)
noun
U.K. somebody pitiable or contemptible: a person who is considered uninteresting and pitiable or contemptible, especially because of a lack of taste and style ( slang insult )
[Late 20th century. Formed from sad.]
WiF a dictionary handy
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:16:09 (EDT)

Getting ready for today and the forth coming weekend.

USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:12:52 (EDT)

and in the name of Guiness I claim the bandwidth consumption award of the week with this one...

WiF my willy intact
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:12:36 (EDT)

one with the native attitude

and one in the native tongue

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:09:40 (EDT)

and we all know that it's the one beer to have when you're having more than one!
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:07:35 (EDT)

HEY, a new game
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:06:52 (EDT)

i used to think "chong, green is good" but now I think "chong, cold is good" Now I like schaeffer.
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 12:04:19 (EDT)

coors is radioactive. the plant is next door to rocky flats nuclear waste disposal site. NEXT DOOR! clear mountain springs my ass.
one who knows of beer
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:55:25 (EDT)

besides, what other beer than Guinness packs such high nutritional value?
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:54:29 (EDT)

beer snobbery = only thing standing between reality and NASCAR.
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:44:01 (EDT)

yeah no kiddin'. hey ray, what're you doing from now 'til....say.....mid-october? you into a little bullpen activity? we could also use a starter today i think. if you're not doing anything.
theodorable epstein's mom
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:40:10 (EDT)

Beer snobbery is weak. Guinness tastes like a fucking black licorice shake. There, I said it. I like COLD beer, especially icy cold lite beer after mowing someone's lawn while throwing frisbees.
THE SNEAK
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:40:08 (EDT)

look in lower left corner for the SIXTH kitty
WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:36:50 (EDT)

Getting paid to practice. Sounds like a certain baseball squad.
Ray C.
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:34:19 (EDT)

"soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime."
Not Lester
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 11:06:54 (EDT)

Oh and yes I drank so much frickin Guinness yesterday when I took a leak my dick yorun did that foaming-upward thing that Guinness draft does. My American Standard was frightened. Thought it was some new high-tech disinfectant.
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:57:44 (EDT)

Ice version (or whatever it's called) certainly gets me fucked up toot-sweet. And yes Molson's way better than Coors but I'm a snob. Gimme Guinness or gimme death or gimme fitty-cent drafts at the Recess.
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:53:07 (EDT)

A little background to why I never drink Adolph's shiz (besides it being pisswater). I hope Molson comes to it's senses. I'd hate adding Molson to the do-not-drink list.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:44:17 (EDT)

Blue Jay Delgado- "the stupidest war ever"
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:40:02 (EDT)

Molson Canadian is a fine beer. This is the first time I have doubted the word of BOris.
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:38:49 (EDT)

that's happened in all 6 Tours. roadside fans are mental. worse than spitting is fact that they're allowed to mill aboot on the actual road until racers show up, then scamper oot of the way -- often so late the riders have to swerve to avoid knocking little thierry weewee into a ravine. most importantly, it's a darned good thing molson and coors merged. one less brand to completely ignore.
boris
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:33:37 (EDT)

on the way to Tour De Six-Pack?
During Wednesday's time trial, Armstrong was booed, spat at and insulted, but shrugged off hostile sections of the crowd packing the road to win the stage
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:16:45 (EDT)

I love lamp
The Sneak
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:10:42 (EDT)

um.... 5 kittens?
ten eyes divided by two equals five
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 10:09:54 (EDT)

The next six pack of kittens to go in the freezer

WR
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 09:50:19 (EDT)

Brian
- Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 09:36:32 (EDT)

Hello....Buy a Porsche?

Stewie
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 09:11:44 (EDT)

Alright I'm resisting the temptation to make reference to some other Natasha.

Let's just say... WELCOME TO THE PLANET OF THE APES

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 09:02:16 (EDT)

Number one with a swizzle stick

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 08:43:02 (EDT)

“The cat was in the freezer 17 hours and was only one degree below what its normal body temperature is,” Mayor Patton said. “So what does that tell you,” the mayor was asked. “There’s a red flag up,” he responded. Obviously, someone removed the cat and placed it back in the freezer before calling authorities.
WiF
Catskills, USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 08:20:38 (EDT)

Damon throw>Manny throw.
Chong
USA - Thursday, July 22, 2004 at 07:21:40 (EDT)

Pleckheads?

boris
- Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 22:09:31 (EDT)

and pain subject, how's this for a headline...
'If fish can feel pain, then maybe Iraqi children can, too'
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 18:33:17 (EDT)

PLECTRUM! Resistance is futile!

Plecborg
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 18:03:57 (EDT)

Just checked the peta video in full. There are sum sick fvks in those plants. The part towards the end where the they make like chickens are trampolines is the show stopper.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 18:01:38 (EDT)

the six in back are the six that got snagged today. the hoodies say all six heads are gonna roll unless the company they work for leaves the country.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 17:56:14 (EDT)

Huh? Which longpig is beheading which longpig in that photo?
Little Timmy
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 17:46:02 (EDT)

The next six-pack-o-heads is set to roll

WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 17:37:36 (EDT)

LURK #160,000- WOOHOO! First I had in ages
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 17:34:01 (EDT)

explain please

USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 16:25:20 (EDT)

I DO know that your chicken needs a good de-beakin', WiF
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 16:08:07 (EDT)

QUICK...steal these lyrics...when I was just a baby, before I could speak I would line up all my letter blocks alphabetically and now it’s my vocation and my passion to assign every decimal-numbered shelf to every decimal-numbered spine I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I like it quiet so the pages can be heard I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I do it for the love of the word I bring order out of chaos, I shine light into the dark because power comes from knowledge just like fire from a spark and like Gutenberg and Luther with press and pen in hand I take the message to the masses in a form they understand I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I like it quiet so the pages can be heard I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I do it for the love of the word and when the day is over I go home at 5:03 and I give thanks to God and then to Andrew Carnegie and the U.S. Constitution and Orwell, Poe, and Twain and I’ll return at 8AM to open up again I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I like it quiet so the pages can be heard I’m a librarian, I’m a librarian and I do it for the love of the word
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 16:06:06 (EDT)

I'm # 159960!!!!!!!!!!!
TS
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 15:26:46 (EDT)

eat this.
TS
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:48:36 (EDT)

blenderized greaseballs, I'll pass. Never did understand the grease sponge attraction.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:39:00 (EDT)

Had a Lester sighting last night at an east side bar down the end of a loading dock. Apparently Lester impersonation the other day was performed by an actual Lester. So eat your words TS.
Lester Street Team
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:38:55 (EDT)

Libraries are the "perfect environment" for robots...Perfect for replacing miss cunty pants...

WR
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:23:50 (EDT)

causing g@s with every sip
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:14:22 (EDT)

or...
A spokesman for PETA said, "This is bad for us. Most of our members haven't eaten anything since hearing about the results. Our lawyers are looking into suing Mother Earth for false advertising, but concede that the suit will probably be inconclusive. In the meantime we'll be surviving on vitamin supplements and water."
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:06:52 (EDT)

two choice quotes from this one

Plants such as the tomato also have been known to abort their young!

Or, perhaps man should be made to experience extinction because after all, plants and animals feel pain and suffering, and since man causes so much of it he should be removed from the planet. It can be easily accomplished, we just don’t eat anything living, or that was once alive
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 14:04:05 (EDT)

WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:58:03 (EDT)

Ellison and bands from far away places, august 11th @ ASS220. Be There or Be Somewhere Better.
KOL
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:52:06 (EDT)

kill me
The red X
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:19:15 (EDT)

hello...?

USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:18:53 (EDT)

HERE she is...

USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:18:09 (EDT)

LONG LIVE QOC!!!

USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:17:42 (EDT)

HI FRIENDS! HI! Did you MISS ME??!! Thanks for the O'Franken update. I was wondering how Air America was doing. Wish we could get it 'round here. Dan, your ad calling for rock was great. Someone just told me that was you. To Chong and you other meaters: See? You're coming around. Slowly but surely you'll make the switch away from dog to vegetables.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:15:52 (EDT)

BS would like to release a split webpage with the FIDs on Awesome Records. Do it.
BS Marketing Ass
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 13:09:35 (EDT)

Looks like one of the rats found his tongue...
"We were in contact directly by fax and email and phone with Donald Rumsfeld's office," he said, referring to the Secretary of Defense.
"The American authorities absolutely condoned what we did, they absolutely supported what we did. We have extensive evidence to that ... We're prepared to show emails and correspondence and tape recorded conversations," he said.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 12:40:53 (EDT)

O'Franken beats O'Reilly
O'WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 12:30:38 (EDT)

"It sounds crazy, but when he looked at me he looked into my soul. It was surreal. I'll never have another experience like that."
Who knows, really, what's in the mind of a beluga whale?
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 12:03:18 (EDT)

Almost forgot the best part -- plectrum^®-shaped communion wafers!

- Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 12:02:51 (EDT)

It's been done. Or haven't you heard of the Benny-ficent Church of the Holy Guitarest? All donations tax-deductible!
boris
- Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 12:00:26 (EDT)

OK, here'as the plan. We go to the Middleblob council and tell them we've formed the First Church of the Sizzle. Then we play comedy CD continuously at mega-volume from 8PM to midnight every day but Friday and Saturday (wouldn't want to interfere with weekend club worshippers). We can take donations door-to-door in the neighborhood. And here's the beauty part, we tell em that we'll stop playing the comedy CD as soon as we raise a hundred dollars (of course we're lying). I bet you can raise damn near a hundred dollars per door with that strategy.
WiF of desecration
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:56:27 (EDT)

kfc's gonna get in more trouble for torture than gwb?
wtf?
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:53:20 (EDT)

chong, at least ya got the dog to tide you through the next couple of days
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:46:54 (EDT)

Well I eat at KFC about once every three years but I wont ever eat there again. The de-beaking thing is sick and fuck them. I wish I didn't like eating meat so much.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:45:04 (EDT)

And the lurk thought I was immature and insolent... hey WtF, thanks for the Bristol link.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:20:05 (EDT)

what does it mean if your dog's tongue turns blue?

the little bush that blue
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:06:01 (EDT)

that was me saying "wow" softly after that first loving bite
the boston creme donut
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 11:03:54 (EDT)

So I'm sitting in the comedy studio and a studio engineer grabs a dunkin donuts boston creme out of the bag, takes a slow loving first bite, and says in a low soft voice "wow".
Doff
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 10:48:26 (EDT)

Poco, the friendly little beluga whale, swims dangerously close to the Bush Kennebunkport compound, gets detained for suspected terrorist act by secret service.
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 10:25:39 (EDT)

Yo MJ, Bristol sprawl made USA Today
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 09:58:29 (EDT)

greeted by flowers in the streets, yada yada....
yada yada yada....
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 09:55:02 (EDT)

But it was in the name of freedom and liberation!!
Langston
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 09:29:21 (EDT)

for those who've lost count
901 dead US GI longpigs
121 dead "other" GI longpigs
2.09 longpigs/day
5394 wounded US longpigs
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 09:18:02 (EDT)

de-skunking recipe, iffen ya gonna eat that critter ya might as well not have skunk fots for the next three days
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 09:11:36 (EDT)

Dog of chong lose battle with skunk last night. Now chong whole house smell like vic loincloth. Hope honorable cocktail of douche and lemon juice do the trick. If not I know what's on the menu for dinner tonight.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 08:51:26 (EDT)

The already famous town of Fond Du Lac has just decided to change their name to Fond Du Mac
WiF of 20,000 fots
USA - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 08:15:57 (EDT)

Good bloody lord sir, they fucking won. Foulke did not give up a grand slam. I heart Pokey and will pray to the sweet baby Jesus every day until he is healed.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 23:50:47 (EDT)

hey WiFi, broaden bandwidth and speak sluggo stories to me. slurry talk no workey. nite nite
fart
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 20:53:51 (EDT)

as in 1000 pounds
egads
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 18:56:56 (EDT)

i am big
real big
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 18:49:23 (EDT)

Is that a couple subject lines offa some spam mail or what?
heh?
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 18:29:10 (EDT)

Mmmm long chicken?
McD's
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 18:16:26 (EDT)

TOUCHDOWN + TWO POINT CONVERSION!!!!
Papi
The Dominican - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 17:56:31 (EDT)

Decisions decisions:

HELMUT FRICKER BUTTON ACCORDIONIST AND COMEDIAN REAL ICON IN BEAVER CREEK, CO STROLLS ALONG THE PLAZA AREA ON ALMOST ANY AFTERNOON FABULOUS ENTERTAINER

PEGGY MUELLER'S BUTTON BOX MUSIC FASCHING LAACK'S HALL WITH DORF KAPELLE, JOHNSONVILLE, WI
Huh?
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 17:25:15 (EDT)

pokey hurt last nite -- appendicitis.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 17:08:57 (EDT)

Never > 86
Captain Obvious
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 17:07:38 (EDT)

MOTHER OF DOG IT'S 1-0 SEATTLE!!!!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:57:01 (EDT)

It's my SUPREME HOTNESS that makes men's appendix' burst and womans ass hair curl.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:51:56 (EDT)

back to rebellious internal organs for a minute- What exactly is it about the lurk that causes chronic appendicitis?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:45:48 (EDT)

So I'm half-way as big a loser as the sux. WOW, that's saying something
WiF of pride for no apparent reason
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:43:07 (EDT)

and if it's still true when I'm 86, chances are everything else on me will hurt as much as your comment
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:41:05 (EDT)

Vikes were born same year as me, 1961. To figure out my age I just calculate how many times the Vikes haven't won the big one then add zero.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:39:00 (EDT)

do the math. you're halfway there.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:29:27 (EDT)

boris, if that's still true in 86 years, I'll be really hurt by that comment.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:27:33 (EDT)

Brunes just set franchise merch record for "Empty Yellow Seat" t-shirts.

- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:26:33 (EDT)

Super Bowl wins : 0
Super Bowl losses: 4
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:22:30 (EDT)

He takes slap shots in the clubhouse before he blows every save. Obviously Brunes through and through.
Doff
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 16:17:13 (EDT)

oops, not the parking fine on the little red X, the overtime parking on this baby

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:58:45 (EDT)

and who's gonna pay for the overtime parking fine on this old jalopy?

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:56:04 (EDT)

and almost 32 years since we were last there on Dec 14, '72, but that still beats the 86 years since the red sux made it to the top.

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:53:47 (EDT)

35 years today, since man first landed on the moon

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:49:15 (EDT)

And BTW Theo you smug doosh. How's that ten mill for BK Kim treatin' ya? How's Mendoza treatin' ya? Howbout Williamson? I'm sure you wouldn't wanna exchange that $10,000,000.00 for, say, giving Namor or 'Tek what they want.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:44:06 (EDT)

joseph i'm surprised you've given him slack until now. you did know he's a HUGE bruins fan right? from (i think) san diego -- that hockey hotbed.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:39:54 (EDT)

Whatever guys, what the hell is up with FOULKE? Fucking Chong can pitch better than that fatass.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:30:40 (EDT)

my potty is in a rage everytime it sees my hirsute azz
WiF good reason i might add
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:28:54 (EDT)

leaking the plan, A- gives them cover if Heathrow gets hit, and B- an excuse to spend another billion or so on a revised "secret" plan.
cynical cyd
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:26:37 (EDT)

Diaz brandished a Burger King straw dispenser, police said.
Potty Rage: Two Charged In Burger King Bathroom Battle
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:25:18 (EDT)

Scotland Yard has ordered an inquiry into how its confidential blueprint on protecting London's Heathrow airport from a terrorist attack was found abandoned beside a service station near one of the airport's terminals. The plans, found by an astonished motorist, would have given would-be terrorists a step-by-step guide to mounting an attack on the world's busiest airport.
SOMEONE'S geting their balls fried for that one
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:24:03 (EDT)

yet another set of connections between you-know-who-and-you-know-who
the pretzelarm band
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:23:44 (EDT)

"Bull fries are all beef and one of the leanest meats on the market," Williams said. "They're 100 percent cholesterol-free."
Give Bull Fries a Try
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:22:12 (EDT)

Hey, call me, I'm a certified Master Abater!
Al E. Wacker
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:15:09 (EDT)

That wasn't Punk Rock Aerobics so much as it was Punk Rock ABATEMENT.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:09:35 (EDT)

wake all i can tell ya is my cuz the arkie-tect said be careful w/ abatement "specialists" esp since given the nature of removal (esp creation of dust, which goes wherever the eff it wants) it's wicked easy to re-infect a recently scoured residence. like, too easy. so a lotta "specialists" make half-assed, straphanger jobs of it then tell you "it's the dust, can't do nothing about that" when that's only half-true and yr $$ goes down the American Standard. my cuz' firm does lotta urban rehabs. least carcieri extended the abatement deadline a year.....
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 15:04:07 (EDT)

um, TS, is there something you aren't telling us...?
luxury suite, eh?
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 14:53:15 (EDT)

how about longpig suicide aerobics? (with video)
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 14:51:18 (EDT)

the three-phase technology demonstration, known as the Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOP) programme.
i'm breathing really heavily
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 14:33:50 (EDT)

Can we get at least one comment on the punk rock aerobics?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 14:01:26 (EDT)

funny? no
the lady from nantucket
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 13:43:50 (EDT)

Okay, so I have a slightly hydroencephalatic head but I sure know when to hit a grand slam.
Brett Boone
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 13:19:09 (EDT)

Since I'm about to experience a B.usy M.orning, I really don't have time to scroll down thru the earlier logs. I only have time to read the one I see right here on top. Yes. Lady from Pottymouth with the Cessna question on Jeopardy is not only funny haha it is funny strange.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 13:13:24 (EDT)

alright, again. pay attention. lady from portsmouth on jeopardy last night gets cessna question. isn't that funny? no? NO?
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 12:59:56 (EDT)

What is FUCK!?!
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 12:53:04 (EDT)

890 US dead, 20,000 Iraqi dead

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:44:32 (EDT)

Ho Chi Miniwheats
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:44:30 (EDT)

is that downstream, and is beer involved?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:41:39 (EDT)

Who wants to canoe the Taunton river with me, from Middleboro to Dighton?
The Sneak
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:15:33 (EDT)

would you all leave me alone? I'm trying to get some work done
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:12:41 (EDT)

Looks like the tail is trying to wag the dog into war with Syria and Iran too. Gee I wonder what could possibly inspire a longterm CIA employee like Allawi to say such inflammatory shiz?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:11:13 (EDT)

of of?
spallspallczech
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 11:06:15 (EDT)

and an example of chong banter

WiF of of chronic, but funny appendicitis
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:55:46 (EDT)

headshot of chong sans red jumpsuit

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:52:57 (EDT)

See what I say? Now you all funny for a change because of what I say! Dance my little puppets DANCE!
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:52:40 (EDT)

i saw the empty boxes of Ho Chi Miniwheats in your trash.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:46:02 (EDT)

Is that Chong in the front row in the breeders photo? In the red hooded jumpsuit?
Corky
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:45:40 (EDT)

What is FUCK! Everyone is mean at chong but when chong mean you jump on my bak! I DONT EVEN EAT CEREAL!
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:44:46 (EDT)

Chong hit low blow.
Doff
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:43:11 (EDT)

fuckin A chong, who peed in your corn flakes?
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:39:23 (EDT)

Note the lack of banter in this pre-chong pic from back in the breeders days. I can almost see a thought bubble above your head "I should tell a joke on stage tonight. Maybe something about the monitors? Nah..."

Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:24:09 (EDT)

SEE! YOu even stole "shiftless layabouts" from me! YOU NEED ME TO BE FUNNY! WITHOUT CHONG HUMOR BENNY SIZZLER IS JUST ONE TON SHOTGUN WITH A VEGAN!
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:11:30 (EDT)

.
Guitar Face
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 10:07:51 (EDT)

Chong, you're not mad, you're just tired. And maybe a little bit jealous of my original HOT ST@GE BANTER and smoking GUIT@R LICKS!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 09:33:04 (EDT)

Listen you shiftless layabouts and scafflaws, I'm telling you, DON had the rare recurrent appendicitis. The thing would spooge, heal, spooge, scar over, spooge, etc etc. for four fucking years. Fucking booze was given up for NAUGHT! WiF, it may just be gas
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 09:31:11 (EDT)

WiF=One openly weird dude.
C(hong)RAPPER JOHN MD
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 09:24:44 (EDT)

Just did the quicky research and the gallbladder is too far north for sure. So looks like the appendix is the offending appendage. Chronic variety, 1% of the cases, guess all I can hope is that I'm one of the even smaller percentage that the appendix expels the infected spooge successfully without recurrence. About the only positive I see is that it'll be better to have the little bugger removed than to mistakenly give up the hooch.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 09:08:23 (EDT)

appendix still an appendage. pain almost completely gone. CHRONIC appendicitis? That's a new one on me. I thought once the appendix started shiz it was strictly a one act organ. Rebound pain? Maybe at the worst of it, but it takes a noticable prodding to get the sore spots attention at the moment. So doc MJ, what be the persisting type symptoms to the chronic variety?
A second organ theory also arose last night. My sis has been having gall bladder troubles and that little bugger's location is just north of the appendix and with my girth doing it's imitation of urban expansion, the organ's hood is less determinate.
So was Don's appendix solution eventual removal? Big woose that I am, I'd rather face a bar full of rioting drunks than someone board certified to only cut me where it'll be an improvement.
WiF (off to research my organs on company time)
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 08:43:49 (EDT)

through fog of beer i noted that last night's Jeopardy contestant, a freelance editor from pottymouth, ri, gave the correct response "What is Cessna"? unfortunately she also lost to the robot mormon.
boris
- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 07:16:51 (EDT)

REMEMBER ME??? I'M BAAAACK!!

BLUE BOY
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 07:08:30 (EDT)

Why so much hate? Chong am think of become Deterrents fan. I mean come on, if not for chong benny stage banter consist of "this new song call NYC knife fight. I used to be in Breeders. Pave the whales" Now chong write all good material. Like I have new bit where band say "any requests?" And then the guy in crowd say "stop playing" and then someone in band say "Aww that's cute, I remember my first beer." This extra funny if MJ say it cause she is not drinking!
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 at 06:31:46 (EDT)

anyone know any cheap lead abatement specialists
WR
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 20:37:26 (EDT)

Hey Pastor, I hate Chong too!
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 20:27:08 (EDT)

well well well if it isn't ole VIC. Ole fucking Vic. Vic vicky vic.
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 20:25:43 (EDT)

YAWN...yeah yeah it's me...I'll be back before you even knew I was gone.
v!c
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 19:48:09 (EDT)

I'm already an architecture whore. It really doesn't get much worse than that.
TS
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 19:44:28 (EDT)

i'll getcha a ticket, TS.
Meathooks
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 19:09:49 (EDT)

Mystery Creature Lurks In Central Maryland
hyote? wha?
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 19:05:40 (EDT)

I hate chong
Chong's Pastor
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 19:01:41 (EDT)

MJ watch your mail. I'm sending Don a special gift to congratulate him on not being wheat-intolerant.
The Sneak
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 18:35:26 (EDT)

And here is the offending organ

USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 18:09:26 (EDT)

Holy finger-like appendage WtF, you know, don't you, that DON had appendicitus 4 years ago that went UNDIAGNOSED for 4 years? CHRONIC appendicitus that didn't go away with no fot is what it was. Poor girl had to quit booze and everything thinking it was a wheat intolerance.
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 18:08:32 (EDT)

Pretending you're Lester is for losers.
TS
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:39:42 (EDT)

thanks TS. no, the only way to accurately represent my pathetic git is through interpretive dance. starring WtF. as soon as he's sure he's not preggers.
boris
Appendi City, - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:38:02 (EDT)

CAD is for losers.
Lester
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:23:34 (EDT)

What are you doing with CAD, anyway? Schematic drawings of your guitar?
TS
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:08:27 (EDT)

So with that cliffhanger I leave you to wonder about my fate till the morrow.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:06:40 (EDT)

I got a pain in my gut in the classic spot for appendicitis. How's that for shitstarting. Figured it was a stomach cramp last night and it's feeling better than it did then, but still it's enough to get me nervous. It's just a little tender as opposed to the sever discomfort of the clasic, but I keep thinkin about the but. To top it off, if whatever alien thing is happening to my body precipitates a hospital visit, I'm currently between coverage (fleet shiz expired end of month and new shiz I signed up for but no paperwork yet). If you had the luck of the Irish you'd wish you had no luck at all. Pray a good pinch or fot remedies this for me willya. Besides a two ounce appendix follow up to QOC's 15 pounder will just add to my feelings of inadequacy.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:03:00 (EDT)

For a fee, that is.
TS
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:02:14 (EDT)

Most AutoCAD books are a waste of money. It's much easier to to sit down and figure it out on your own. If you are familiar with similar programs it's not hard. If you're really stuck, try this one. If you want some help with shortcut commands, I can send you an email with the basic ones.
TS
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 17:01:55 (EDT)

go
The Lurk Rally Monkey
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 16:48:44 (EDT)

chirp chirp chirp
the crickets
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 16:36:22 (EDT)

Guaranteed to put you off eating broccoli for the forseeable future
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 14:41:02 (EDT)

edition limited to 5 month run
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 14:38:19 (EDT)

"American Standard" is a great album title...
KOL
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 14:01:48 (EDT)

It smells like alot of things but victory ain't one of them.
Robert Duvall
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 13:36:18 (EDT)

Nothing like watching the sun arise from the confines of the American Standard.
Doff
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 13:33:27 (EDT)

Yeah i was THAT busy okay? THAT busy that I logged twice, allright?
BBM
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 13:30:20 (EDT)

MY very busy morning began at 10:15am
Bobby Bowel Movement
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 13:28:36 (EDT)

MY very busy morning began at 10:15am
Bobby Bowel Movement
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 13:26:30 (EDT)

Very busy morning beginning at 3:30
WR
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 12:05:34 (EDT)

Weak from your Busy Morning?
Doff
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:54:04 (EDT)

Nifty new way to make a banana split.
doris
- Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:37:40 (EDT)

any suggestions for a good autocad (2002) book for newbies? TS?
boris
- Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:34:44 (EDT)

replacement headline- Bored Kids Take To Just Hanging Around
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:21:42 (EDT)

QOC is doing well--picked up some laxatives with her last night but not sure if she'll need them since we both ate the same dinner and I'm having no problem with constipation. OH, I think I have to leave work early today--I'm weak.
WR
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:10:22 (EDT)

if g@y @ss ain't number one on the search string I'm a number two
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:09:46 (EDT)

"I believe the problem may be you-specific."
boris
- Monday, July 19, 2004 at 11:03:00 (EDT)

1 - 56.19% benny sizzler: 2 - 6.03% priceless: 3 - 3.69% yankees suck: 4 - 1.36% gail greenwood: 5 - 1.31% boy ass: 6 - 1.12% trailer park: 7 - 0.98% frat boy: 8 - 0.51% hot boy: 9 - 0.51% lasermonk: 10 - 0.42% kissing cousins: 11 - 0.33% ass slapping: 12 - 0.28% pirate booty: 13 - 0.28% prostate exam: 14 - 0.28% xene cervenka: 15 - 0.23% fuck you: 16 - 0.23% sizzler: 17 - 0.19% 2 boy ass%: 18 - 0.19% frat ass: 19 - 0.19% funny iraq:
Numbers that Shape Our World <BS Search Strings>
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 10:26:49 (EDT)

Someone is looking for hot rock action in all the wrong places...
The Sneak
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 10:19:31 (EDT)

hey tron, whaddya know aboot our new wop coach? is he french?
boris
- Monday, July 19, 2004 at 10:11:49 (EDT)

What, no Jon Bon Jovi Arena Football this weekend?
Doff
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 10:08:53 (EDT)

(yawn) s'pose CFL looks pretty good...to vikings fans...
boris
- Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:48:56 (EDT)

Did someone call for the THUNDERBIRDS?

some guy dangling from a bunch-o-strings
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:24:35 (EDT)

I see you losers are still watching that baseball shiz. What's with that guy throwing toothpicks onto the field and prancing about like he was trying out for Queer Eye?
Myself, I was pleased to catch a CFL game this weekend. Just 21 days till the first NFL preseason.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:19:57 (EDT)

Ahhhh the AC/DC block. I was digging up weeds and the roofers down the street had the radio turned up so loud I had no choice but to get THUNDERSTRUCK. Too bad it was followed by AEROSMITH and what I can only imagine was TESLA. I did get to watch a flick on the FAC pilots of vietnam. Basically flying a rented cessna into bad-guy land all by themselves. Sounds like good times.
Chong Lee
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:16:56 (EDT)

The librarians cornered me for a couple of overdue books and I suggested they punish me by making me suckle their breasts. Unfortunately the only one who took me up on the offer was some librarian named Steve.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:13:23 (EDT)

QOC put in a brief appearance Saturday (walking gingerly, but self-propelled), and Mayor Cicciline put in an appearance for about an hour at the Libations party on Friday. On the librarian tip, remember how momma warned you about the quiet ones? She was warning you about the librarians. The usual one bartender very quickly became two bartenders that didn't stop for 3 or 4 hours. I think the most apt decription of the ensuing melee is "Oh the humanities."
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:08:46 (EDT)

spent the weekend making bushitler jokes, pouring water over my head to hide the pee stains, and biting the heads off of small winged mammals.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 19, 2004 at 09:00:34 (EDT)

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger mocked his opponents in the California Legislature on Saturday as "girlie men," and called upon voters to "terminate" them at the polls in November if they don't pass his $103-billion budget.
kindergarten PLOP
USA - Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 18:26:22 (EDT)

A TEACHER in a Zimbabwe elementary school has been suspended for giving unruly pupils a choice between being caned or suckling her breasts.
new stage banter for MJ?
USA - Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 18:06:02 (EDT)

i hear the Croatian shuffleboard team is a bunch of old school sheep diddlers
the ghost of Dolly
USA - Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 14:57:27 (EDT)

But it's in Greece. How's anyone gonna get pregnant?
U. T. Hudson
- Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 14:41:22 (EDT)

At the Albertville winter Olympics, condom machines in the athletes’ village had to be refilled every two hours. And in Sydney the organisers’ original order of 70,000 condoms went so fast that they had to order 20,000 more. Even with the replenishment, the supply was exhausted three days before the end of the competition schedule. (For the record, athletes who were in Sydney report that the Cuban delegation was the first to use up its allocation.) Salt Lake City in 2002 went even bigger: 250,000 condoms were handed out, despite the objections of the city’s Mormon leadership.
olympic bong team? <i would take@gold.medal>
USA - Sunday, July 18, 2004 at 12:57:22 (EDT)

Iggy shows off his new Davinci porcelain veneers.
eech
USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 17:28:38 (EDT)

iggy receives an unscheduled tabasco enema.
ooch
USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 14:44:27 (EDT)

- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 13:52:38 (EDT)

Something about a warm July afternoon just screams "AC/DC block!"
The New Black Angus
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 12:17:07 (EDT)

- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 11:23:05 (EDT)

which of course is "muevs" backwards.

- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 10:04:03 (EDT)

not sure, joseph, but he *almost* got himself suspended for aboot 30 games -- had the bats he hucked out of the dugout actually hit one of the two umpires he supposedly *barely* missed. pleaz ortiz, chuck 'em at dale sveum instead.
boris sveum
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 10:03:00 (EDT)

err...uniy=unit...Hey Serge, where do you think we got the hot new material for the Benny Sizz comedy cd from...?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 09:48:57 (EDT)

Fuck Randy Johnson. We don't need his redneck uniy in the clubhouse anyway. Agreed, do NOT trade Namor. What did Ortez get?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 09:47:23 (EDT)

Will the person who stole The Edge's copy of the new U2 cd please return it. They have families to feed!! Talk about pissing in the wind. If said copy gets released on the internet that means they will actually have to do some real work and make a proper record!! How come nobody stole the Benny cd and pirated that??
Serge Gainsbourg
Portland, ME USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 09:46:07 (EDT)

How you like THAT cheese?
Petey
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 09:14:08 (EDT)

isn't leominster cheese? ummm, forestave, wormtown is oot. sorry. i will visit the ott museum though. just won't commute. yes WR this means nat and i can stay in warweak. yay. no wait...boo. no wait.....PLEASE ODOG PLEASE DON'T TRADE NAMOR. I KNOW CHONG AM HATE BUT....HE IS OUR KARMIC EQUALIZER. EVEN WITH THE BOOPSIE.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 22:37:36 (EDT)

Who ARE you people?
Music Lover
Leominster, MA USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 19:20:14 (EDT)

Lester is off making pretzel armbands for all his friends.
Doff
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 18:49:01 (EDT)

While I'm here, how is everyone? Where the fuck is Lester? What happened to QOC? Who wants to buy me a plane ticket to Providence?
TS
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 18:32:06 (EDT)

You can get it cheaper on Amazon. I can't imagine why on earth you would want a copy, though.
TS
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 18:25:59 (EDT)

Damn, I haven't even seen that yet!
TS
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 18:19:51 (EDT)

Hi I'm back. did anybody miss me? Our very own TS made that book??!
Mj®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 17:51:20 (EDT)

Look what TS has been doing in her spare time

WR
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 17:36:39 (EDT)

let the eagle fuckin' soar, would ya?
Yanni Asscroft
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 17:12:11 (EDT)

presented without comment.... other than that one

WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:56:22 (EDT)

shifty-eyed blues brothers, on a mission from dog

WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:53:35 (EDT)

Nason will now be NIKKY SHITZ Dave is now DAVE DRUGS John is now ROGER RAZOR Mark is now BEATLE PAUL
Pretty Punk
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:52:41 (EDT)

the pretzel arm bands make that pic
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:51:30 (EDT)

High road

or
dumbed-down road to the bottom

WiF of comparison shopping
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:50:23 (EDT)

off again off again jiggity jog
v!c
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:40:45 (EDT)

Tiptoe through the stem cells...
Tiny Tumor
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:38:47 (EDT)

here is the evidence
GW=anti-christ
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:30:37 (EDT)

only the chimp could be capable of making stalin/hitler/anti-christ look like more sensible people. Dat dumbed down enuf?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:23:39 (EDT)

Agreed boris, Bowell junior belongs in little timmy's position. The Murdoch Plantation was too frikkin big before they handed him the keys to the cable box, and radio, and newspapers.

as to jukebox reference, wait till I get around to making a WiF's unknown shiz CD. 11 years in clubs, 7 years jazz radio, lifetime of being WtF, believe me I can preach a sermon to the choir they ain't never heard.
WiF on the soap-on-a-rope-box
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:21:16 (EDT)

How 'bout Dubya=Anti-Christ instead?
WR
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:16:34 (EDT)

Word on Tammy Tumor, MJ. Another friend had a 12lber removed last year--that one was *good* because it grew on a stem in her uterus and not on the wall. Tumors + stems=way to go! Kinda wish I had seen the nasty thing--other friend had docs show her so she could *visualize* it out of her body.
WR
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:12:21 (EDT)

I may be preaching to the choir, but now there are a dozen more people in the city that can use references to the Geneva Convention when criticizing bush rather than using hitler comparisons. Wasn't that the point of the discussion at hand? And, believe or not, I had the same Geneva experience at the Sports (bar down near Fantasies, steer clear if you are sans kevlar). Of course that was much louder and involved me being called a unamerican pinko faggot. But even if they hate me for it, they now know more about the 4th Geneva Convention than a lot of the PC folk at the Decanter (other than those I skooled of course).
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:10:47 (EDT)

There's nothing quite like a hand-crafted vintage of pruno to get those embers of lust burning bright. Ask that little prison bitch you've had your eye on to split one of these with you and he'll be tossing salads like the caterer at a weight-loss convention.
yes, pruno
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:07:46 (EDT)

whomever has the answer to yr question would become very rich very quickly. killing yr television wasn't my idear. howbout enabling treason charges for any FCC chair, lobbyist or subordinate guilty of bribery or payola. or having A SINGLE media ownership rule that's enforced. decent start.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 16:03:13 (EDT)

Yes, because we all know, the people at the Decatur represent the folks that need to be reached. While you're there, put a buck in the jukebox and introduce the bar patrons to 'punk rock' and other things they're not aware of...
The Sneak
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:51:25 (EDT)

did MJ just notice for the first time boris has been calling me WtF?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:41:31 (EDT)

alright boris, try listening this time. boris-"dumbing-down should not only go unchallenged but should be encouraged"- my question was, "If you know a way to get America's attention, please, let's hear it."

am awaiting your genius way to reach the lost Americans

and as to your bar reference, I rather recently had the complete text of the 4th Geneva Convention at the Decanter and had whole bloody place up to speed on which convention articles to throw into dumb-downed American faces. Also created 7-10 alchoholics single-handed that evening. Tonight's political screed for Decanter consumption is 47 page "Ending Secret Detentions" report from Human Rights First (from dat gulag link earlier). Care to come down and raise the unwashed masses along with a few glasses? (hey that rhymes. gotta remember that one)
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:38:20 (EDT)

Yolanda has a few announcements during the delay in the stage show. She then sings a blues version of 'Like a Virgin'.
So many fucking quotables!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:32:09 (EDT)

Adolph's curtains ref=A1 saucy comment
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:28:28 (EDT)

Banter on, my politically savvy lurkers. I have a date with meat.
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:22:33 (EDT)

Wtf=WiF=EXCELLENT
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:21:19 (EDT)

The spirits of illusion are not cooperating!
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:20:33 (EDT)

actually when WtF and i used to have these sorta badminton games (sans shuttlecock) in bars, on a good night we could create 4-5 alcoholics per hour.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:20:21 (EDT)

why UUU bastard! I will cut a 20 pound tumor outta you yet...
v!c
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:15:20 (EDT)

PS-"carter was nuts/peanut envy" =funny funny funny. And Vic, stop bothering dirty. Don't you have an opposite coast to be on?
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:07:05 (EDT)

I still can't grasp the concept of a 15 pound benign (thank dog) tumor growing in (and then eventually being removed from) someone you actually know and care about. I mean, how fucked is that?
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:05:23 (EDT)

Los Alamos is Spanish for I swear it was sitting right here a second ago...

- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:03:29 (EDT)

but i can play cards with myself!

In an unscripted moment, a Bengal tiger escaped backstage and chased talk show host Tom Snyder into a bathroom.
D. Henning <challenge@WiF.duel>
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 15:01:19 (EDT)

....and Carter was NUTS!
Brother Billy
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:57:51 (EDT)

advanced texitis, donzo. incurable. note how close together his eyes are.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:56:23 (EDT)

I'll chime in with this bit of genius. Hitler had Parkinson's®. Ozzy has, well, issues. So what's Bush's excuse?
Don Doff
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:55:35 (EDT)

semi-retired hack, there, stinkypinky. yes i was wrong. i admit that iraq is exactly like world war ii. and that dumbing-down should not only go unchallenged but should be encouraged. learned that on rupert's payroll. and ooooeee did i get rich.

paraphrasing rodney dangerfield: "cemeteries, golf courses and libraries...are the biggest waste of real estate."
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:55:34 (EDT)

boris got the (mis)quote like a true 4th estate (read murdoch plantation) hack. Note the beginning of my line, "and although I wish it were true". I'm perfectly content to argue the details of the filth this administration is unleashing on the world (I cite highly detailed facts here all the time), and do it with specifics not hitler references. The real details IS where the debate should happen, but you'll be looking long and hard to find much evidence of any signifanct percentage of Americans engaged in, or even interested in facts that don't fit into a 20 second sound bite. If you know a way to get America's attention, please, let's hear it.
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:49:25 (EDT)

eight vic. EIGHT. sheeeit.
dirty
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:48:15 (EDT)

I think the WiFFer can literally converse with hisself.
v!c
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:45:47 (EDT)

Given Dr Allawi's role as the leader of the US experiment in planting a model democracy in the Middle East, allegations of a return to the cold-blooded tactics of his predecessor are likely to stir a simmering debate on how well Washington knows its man in Baghdad, and precisely what he envisages for the new Iraq.
There is much debate and rumour in Baghdad about the Prime Minister's capacity for brutality, but this is the first time eyewitness accounts have been obtained.
**************
US officials in Iraq have not made an outright denial of the allegations. An emailed response to questions from the Herald to the US ambassador, John Negroponte, said: "If we attempted to refute each [rumour], we would have no time for other business. As far as this embassy's press office is concerned, this case is closed."
i'm going to puke
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:33:08 (EDT)

true vic. see what a little logic course can('t) do. so WiF, everyone is now expected to clam up and be thus counted as accepting, in a literal sheep-like manner, the fact that "having the high ground doesn't have much of a payoff with dunce Americans". sorry, no can do. feel free though....it's easy enough to do nothing.
(and no, that wasn't an ozzy slag. dood's got what, seven neurons left? purely comic relief and irrelevant)
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:24:20 (EDT)

damn, I ain't gone on a rant like this in ages. Shall I add the 20 or so secret US gulags to the mix?
"More than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Put it this way, they’re no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.
President George W. Bush
State of the Union Address
February 4, 2003

WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:05:51 (EDT)

and who or what is higher than the highest commander?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 14:01:53 (EDT)

And the bush junta has given new meaning to "race to the bottom"

Seymour Hersh says the US government has videotapes of boys being sodomized at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. "The worst is the soundtrack of the boys shrieking," the reporter told an ACLU convention last week. Hersh says there was "a massive amount of criminal wrongdoing that was covered up at the highest command out there, and higher."
WiF of tainted butt
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:59:15 (EDT)

appeaer?
a pear ants
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:55:45 (EDT)

And, on the where to apply public pressure tip...
the defense site has a list of trustees, etc to contact
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:54:46 (EDT)

The library administration has recently added a buttload of new admin jobs at very high wages. The librarians point is that rather than cut the people that do the real work, cut the recently added pork jobs first. As to money not growing on trees, I just checked behind the building and the trees appeaer to be covered with small thin green things. Will investigate further on whether these green objects might indeed be money.
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:51:34 (EDT)

But what can they LEGALLY do? This is a private corporation not a public entity. I certainly support the staff but what would be their recourse? I think a lawyer would tell them all the same thing--public outcry is their best bet, shaming the institution. Like the Providence teachers agreeing to pay part of their health benefits, this may carry some weight throughout the state but I wouldn't bet on it. People want the government to support *important* institutions (schools, libraries) but they don't want it to be with their money. So where does it come from?
WR
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:41:20 (EDT)

I mean, what can you really say after something like that? dirty? suggestions?
v!c
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 13:07:55 (EDT)

Ozzy definitely seized the low ground early in life. It's practically his calling, so I see nothing wrong with him using the image and "racing to the bottom". Isn't that what War Pigs is about in the first place? For Kerry to not mention Adolph, yes definitely proper and smart move, but as WiF would say, "Senator Kerry I knew Ozzy and you sir are no crazy Train." and although I wish it were true, having the high ground doesn't have much of a payoff with dunce Americans. Otherwise Jimmy Carter would have gotten a second term and be recognized for his accomplishments (ie- Camp David Accord, only peace treaty in Middle East history to succeed)
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 12:41:33 (EDT)

The Librarian Liberation (or is it libation) Front has a web site
Libations for Librarians! A Benefit at the Decatur Lounge. 10 % of the profits from this night will go toward the Library Defense Fund. This will be used in case we need money for a lawyer, or to place an ad in the paper, or for whatever is needed. So don't forget to drop on by...this Friday July 16th. Decatur Lounge 18 Luongo Sq
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 12:32:39 (EDT)

right but wouldn't not playing dumbya's silly tit-for-tat be more effective? or didja expect a knob who already stole one to play nice? to beat texan at texan game, avoid race to bottom no matter how tempting. holder of high ground wins more battles.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 12:28:55 (EDT)

as Goebbels might say, "W I knew Hitler, and you sir are no Adolph."
However, bush has been trying to put the Hitler label on Kerry with that fvking obnoxious ad. So turning it back on him and pointing out that he is more akin to Hitler (especially the "pre-emptive" war shiz) is certainly fair game.
WiF says pre-empt this
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 12:22:03 (EDT)

Ah yes, received missive directly from Library Defense organ...just don't know what they might use the $$$$ for. Enlightenment please? Wrongful firing suit? Not sure...
WR
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 12:14:48 (EDT)

Those hikers didn't find themselves you know....
Rented Cessna
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 11:42:11 (EDT)

Given the Librarian-centric nature of certain lurkers, I thought this might be of innerest - Libations for Librarians: Friday, July 16th (aka tonight) @ The Decatur - Drink it up! 10% of the proceeds go towards the Providence Public Library Defense Fund.
Dr. Von Sexy
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 11:25:15 (EDT)

Martha gets 5 months.
TS
fucking miami, USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 11:08:18 (EDT)

i'm the farthest thing from a bush supporter, but i really think longpigs of every affiliation need to cut the crap with all this hitler shit. besides showing themselves incapable of actually disagreeing with someone's ideas in an even remotely civil manner, it underscores the "ugly American" stereotype for the whole effin' world to see -- and to gawk and and dismiss and to condemn everyone as willing participants in the proverbial "race to the bottom". end of soapbox. sorry.
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 10:47:44 (EDT)

And yet they insist Ken Lay was an Ann Richardson supporter who barely knew GWB...

KOL
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 10:25:41 (EDT)

Naw, Ozzy sucks now and should *really* hang it up. They play everything in like low B so he can come close to hitting the notes, and poor Bill Ward needs an oxygen tank to get through soundcheck. And, never mind that ozzfest is a total horror show and a sociological disaster zone that makes Seekonk Speedway 4th of July look like a Nobel Prize winner reunion convention.
The Sneak
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 10:08:13 (EDT)

OZZY RULES!
"War Pigs," the opener, was the best song of the set and the entire day. To double the force of the music, the giant screens next to the stage showed pictures of President Bush juxtaposed with pictures of Hitler.
It may have been Mr. Osbourne's shrewd answer to the Bush campaign's recent Internet advertisement "Coalition of the Wild-Eyed," which sets film of various Democratic leaders fulminating against films of Hitler fulminating. Another image during the same song showed the president with a red dot superimposed on his nose; the caption read "Bush the Clown." One more showed Mr. Bush's face with a slash across it, reading "Wanted."
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 09:51:41 (EDT)

1st headline of the day- Evil Chess Terrorist Captured Claims he was just a pawn
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 09:38:21 (EDT)

Yeah? So i have a poodle on my noodle. Whatya gonna do about it?
Namor
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 09:30:56 (EDT)

I heard tell the QOC had escaped, I assume that fottage went.... smoothly? At the Decanter last night, Burrmeister had about 50 people sign a card the size of a postage stamp. So we can expect eye strain to be the QOC's next medical difficulty.
WiF
USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 at 09:06:13 (EDT)

Namor grew a boopsie for ESPY Awards...see bostondirtdogs.com
boris
- Friday, July 16, 2004 at 06:43:50 (EDT)

Dogdammit! This is fvckin' it

WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 19:37:17 (EDT)

Why do they stay for just a minute, then disappear? Anyway, I guess I mean Chocki...

WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 19:14:40 (EDT)

Still looking for Charky

WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 19:01:23 (EDT)

In the vein of the New Main Street Singers
WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 18:53:42 (EDT)

!!!

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:53:47 (EDT)

whoops. 1/2 of a surfboard.
surfer not included
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:34:36 (EDT)

bastard html...HERE he is...

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:33:00 (EDT)

I'm sorry, I mean the kid in the bottom of this pic is Joe.

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:32:02 (EDT)

A young Mean Joe in his Sears husky undies.

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:30:00 (EDT)

1/2 of a surfboard
yikes
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 17:04:37 (EDT)

and one for MJ

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:56:02 (EDT)

shark on roof reminds me of joke...
Q- How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A- Two, if you slice them thin enough.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:40:31 (EDT)

11 days too late, but better than the other fireworks scripts I've seen.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:34:38 (EDT)

More *unusual* shark behavior

WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:34:05 (EDT)

me so horny, me love you long time

WiF of antler musk
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:31:21 (EDT)

When she's lonely and the longing gets too much
She sends a cable comin' in from above
We don't need no phone at all
We've got a thing that's called radar butt
We've got a wave in the air, radar butt
WiF my butt waving in the air
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:27:57 (EDT)

I saw a pic of a piece of that surf board. It was a wide board and the bite circumference musta been more than 3 feet and the bite missed spanning the board by a couple of inches. if there had been two people on that board they both would have been bitten in half at the first chomp.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:26:22 (EDT)

a huge shark 'as wide as a car'
holy crap. not for the faint of heart.
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 16:21:17 (EDT)

Boar chomps lawyer's pinky, gores housewife's butt

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:57:49 (EDT)

Omaha bombed by the Japs
double-you-tee-eff is a baloon bomb?
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:54:07 (EDT)

Science Museum looks to "poo power"
it is formidable
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:52:56 (EDT)

"She must have forgotten the rest of her bikini on porpoise."(really dying to post this pic,shucks)
how cheeky
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:42:58 (EDT)

Rumor mill: MJ used to wear HUSKY TUFFSKINS!
tokyo joe
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:39:32 (EDT)

Q. Mix: 1 six pack. 1 "these are my dress clothes" can cooler. 1 2.55 occidental reserve cigar. 1 sunny afternoon. What do you get?
tokyo joe
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:38:05 (EDT)

in tokyo i've got it made. in tokyo i'm on the hit parade. in tokyo i've got a million fans. in tokyo they know who i am. Tokyo.....i'm on my way. And in my new toyota it's not so far away.
Tokyo joe
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:34:49 (EDT)

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?"
Jean Kerr
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:28:33 (EDT)

my "hole" is anything BUTT 'cool'

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:26:39 (EDT)

Killer butt
Killer butt from outer space
Killer butt from outer space
from outer space
kick start my face...
wiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:21:22 (EDT)

though i s'pose technically it's the classic case of chute evac versus chute egress. quite the moral quandary, i tell ye.
doris
- Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:07:26 (EDT)

2000 pound shogun did that already sorta. where's your manners.
doris
- Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 15:00:33 (EDT)

A BS fave, butt-ized: "Don't fuck up my butt!"
Phantom Lurker <that's just wrong on too many levels..>
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 14:40:49 (EDT)

When the Butt says when?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 14:33:03 (EDT)

New game for lurkers.

Don't Fvk Up My Butt, New York City Butt Fight.....
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 14:10:58 (EDT)

the story of a man and his hole...
About 2 years ago I decided to dig a hole in my back yard.
Why?
Why not.
Its good exercise and I could get a tan too. Plus holes are cool.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 14:07:47 (EDT)

"QOC FOT INJURES DOZENS, W&I EVACUATED"
WiF of things to come
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 13:32:32 (EDT)

How about: "QOC Granted Hospital Leave Due to Huge Bowel Movement"
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 13:10:20 (EDT)

Headlines we'd like to see: Stoolie Frees QOC
Mad Mag Dept.
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 13:06:07 (EDT)

and since real sport starts in 25 days, one for me

WiF of pigskin
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 13:04:12 (EDT)

and since
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 13:02:00 (EDT)

one for chong

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 12:53:31 (EDT)

Or this one perhaps?

WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 12:33:07 (EDT)

luv dem wacky packages

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 12:00:51 (EDT)

Reportedly, the cameraman objected to the newspaper reporter getting in the way of his lens during the news conference.
Fourth Estate Fisticuffs <Damneargotmy@sskicked>
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 11:46:37 (EDT)

MJ ® suggests this product fot the mensa member, QOC.

USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 11:07:12 (EDT)

I came up with three Cheney headline funnies, but none as good as Wif.
Lurk Sparer
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 10:57:51 (EDT)

better headline- Dick To Pull Out Prematurely?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 10:10:25 (EDT)

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 10:04:01 (EDT)

play this flash movie--topical and funny
WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 10:00:47 (EDT)

Meh...
Chong.
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 09:59:15 (EDT)

Smuggle a Gansett to the QOC. 'Gansett - the fartmaker.
Lord Falstaff
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 09:58:27 (EDT)

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered." " I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable."
WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 09:55:37 (EDT)

Visitin' hrs extend to 8pm, WiF. She's at W&I. Size of tumor update: between 12 & 15 lbs! There's a percoset smile plastered on her face & plenty of pretty flowers in the room. BUTT--she still needs to fart in order to get out of there. Any ideas?
WR
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 09:44:25 (EDT)

FRONT BUTT ALERT! STARBLAZERS STYLE>>>
Front Butt!!!
USA - Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 07:30:31 (EDT)

guessin since little van zandt is helping organize that someone on his message board (http://www.littlesteven.com/forums/index.php) or his radio show website (underground garage = i heart) will have scuttlebutt on that. the guy *just* died so i'm also guessin' the band hasn't even figgered it out yet.
doris
- Thursday, July 15, 2004 at 07:29:22 (EDT)

Rest in Peace, Arthur Harold 'Killer' Kane. Died today at age 55 of advanced leukemia. Speaking of leukemia, Thunders had an advanced case of that and HIV when he died...and he would be 52 tommorrow. Now this all raises a mildly confounding issue. Since Kane died, will the Dolls still play at Randall Island on August 14? BC the HEATERS have been offered a show @ Jake's that night. Do we still go to the NYC festival regardless or say fuck it and play a show?
KOL
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 23:05:18 (EDT)

"I will refrain from posting anything with any comedic value from now on"
boris
- Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 19:37:19 (EDT)

and a post for the road-
Since Bush took office in early 2001, people have been banned from displaying anti-Bush messages at dozens of Bush appearances across the country. In September, the ACLU filed a federal lawsuit against the Secret Service, seeking an injunction against the Bush administration for segregating protesters at his public appearances.
WiF a "go fvk yerself" to the commander-in-thief
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 18:17:58 (EDT)

QOC visiting hours???
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 18:15:47 (EDT)

I'm just the man to Americanize them Sharipova thighs
Sharipova/WiF= 40-Love
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 18:10:28 (EDT)

A Russian emigree somehow seems unfit as America's Salad Cream.
TS
fucking miami, USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 17:33:42 (EDT)

WR, you are very hurtfull. I've never been anything but nice to you. I will refrain from posting anything with any comedic value from now on. All my posts will be links to news of the weird.
chong
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 17:30:24 (EDT)

By Royal Decree it is declared that the Queen will be receiving callers (of the gentlemenly variety) en suite this evening. All of her loyal subjects, doctors, & royal family await with baited breath (and covered noses) her first instance of post-operative flatulence. Upon which expression she may be discharged from hospital and returned to her rightful place on her home throne.
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 17:17:52 (EDT)

Allah hu Arkansas?
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:52:36 (EDT)

Sharipova thighs... 57 varieties? or is that 57 various positions
WiF of Kama Sharipova
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:20:12 (EDT)

little timmy "headed" for the olyimpics?
ATHENS, GREECE (WI) — Responding to the recent popularity of hostage beheadings, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced today that decapitations have been added as a late entry to events showcased at the 2004 Summer Olympics™ this year...
Known as the "Decap-a-lon", each event will feature athletes displaying their noggin-launching prowess before an international panel of hooded judges. In 72 hours, athletes must remove the crania from six multi-national "hostages" and dangle them menacingly for everyone to see.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:13:35 (EDT)

coincidence?

WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:10:33 (EDT)

this just rules...
scamming the scammers
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:04:42 (EDT)

EAT A FRISBEE, Mrs. Miller!
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 16:00:36 (EDT)

To Ms. Miller's delight, after a short deliberation with the council members, Mayor Brian [Brian Reming] agreed to ban the book from the two bookstores contained within the city limits. "We live in a respectable town. We don't need kids bringing garbage into the school. If I had more energy, I'd burn that young man's face," said Reming.
holy crap. NEBRASKKKAAAAAAAA!
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:45:52 (EDT)

The worst stadium? Jim Siscel, normally quite free-spoken, hesitated. "They'll hate this," muttered the Lynnwood man. Then he confessed. Charming history aside, the cramped seating and poor sightlines at Boston's 1912 Fenway Park and Chicago's 1914 Wrigley Field just don't cut it from a fan's perspective, he said.
@ss-face. good article, tho'. fenway=best atmosphere..
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:42:25 (EDT)

The crew say the U-boat is mostly intact, its hatches unopened, with the remains of 49 German sailors still entombed inside.
in canada? double-you-tee-eff?
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:39:29 (EDT)

america's salad cream=thighs of sharipova
the tosser
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:38:33 (EDT)

What is America's Salad Cream? I don't see a W Salad Cream on the market.

WR
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:27:56 (EDT)

and for MJ's knickers:
But after objections from several unnamed residents, who claim the sculpture's erect 30cm penis is offensive and blocks the footpath, store owner Barry Adams may be forced to remove ugly man or, worse, impose the cruelest cut of all.

USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:19:36 (EDT)

here's something to git yer knickers in a knot, WiFfy:
Congress Ignores 'Dirty War' Past of new Iraq "envoy"
An Exquisite Danger
NEW RIPPLES IN AN EVIL STORY
arousing rabble since '69
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 15:14:49 (EDT)

What, me wasabi?
Pea Diddy
- Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 14:33:48 (EDT)

What, me Wahabi?
haji
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 14:30:15 (EDT)

Bush spent $200 billion on a qWagmire and all I got was this stupid bumper sticker
WiF a panoramic bumper
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 14:29:19 (EDT)

"Bumper Stickers" Stop the senseless killing Jesus is my chauffeur Honk if your homo God drives a Ford! Do you ever read them? Bumper stickers Do you really need them? Bumper stickers If you don't like my driving dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT He who has the most toys when he dies wins! Have you ever bought one? Did you really need it? Coaster collecting is very fascinating
Mr. Chi Pig
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 14:21:12 (EDT)

My other bumper sticker is about as funny as this one.
Blob
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 14:14:25 (EDT)

question of the day- Does WiF's tin foil helmet need adjusting?

I was wondering why an old crippled buddy of Osama's would be doing turning himself in at this time, and it occured to me he might be playing messenger boy. The guy would be considered credible by the Saudis and the US which supported him when they were fighting the Russians. And he'd be far enough out of Osama's loop to not be considered a security threat to Osama'a plans, but trusted enough to deliver a message of some import.
And part two, what message would he be delivering? Dirty bomb ultimatum? Love letters? Did he finally run out of clean socks? Could he be looking to mooch a free comedy CD too? enquiring minds want to know.
WiF-o-conspiracy-theory
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 13:52:25 (EDT)

My border collies are smarter than Chong.
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 12:40:34 (EDT)

Ok, I'll say that Jimy williams just got fired again.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 11:46:19 (EDT)

should I say something even if I have nothing to say?
the nothing to say guy
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 11:37:03 (EDT)

#3 My other Car beat up your spayed poodle.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 11:23:51 (EDT)

Yup, 8 more coming!
CHONG LEE
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 10:40:24 (EDT)

Is that Buddy joke another funny bumper sticker idea?
Donold
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 10:20:51 (EDT)

Hey KOL, can I ride with you?

Buddy
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 10:12:54 (EDT)

but what if the next one don't smell like shit?
the other dog
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 09:45:35 (EDT)

Hey MJ, since you and DON are so good at the whole design thing, do you want start a website that sells funny bumper stickers and postcards? We could do T-shits too! I can think up all the ideas and you guys can do the art. I have a good one where a dog is sniffing another dog's ass and there is a caption above his head that reads "Yup, this one smells like shit too!" What do you think? I can have as many as ten great ideas within a week.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 09:26:24 (EDT)

MY MANNY!!!!! *sigh*
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 09:18:41 (EDT)

Thanks MJ! Can I have a copy of the comedy cd too?

Manny>Namor
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 09:11:17 (EDT)

A few more highlights from last night's game were OUR GUYS WINNING THE WHOLE THING FOR THE AL!!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 08:52:43 (EDT)

Here are a few Highlights from last night's game.

Manny shows Clemens"Where it's at"

Ortiz! They should serve drinks on that flight!

CHONG LEE
USA - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 06:53:28 (EDT)

ew
TS
fucking miami, USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 17:59:10 (EDT)

parting shot.

USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 17:13:46 (EDT)

Hey BORIS, you movin' on up to the gig in wormtown?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 17:00:15 (EDT)

Why I oughta brane ya

moe dark energy
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 16:41:52 (EDT)

it's your own fault fella.
boris
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 16:05:47 (EDT)

brane salad surgery? brane salad cream?
boris
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 16:03:04 (EDT)

What happened to the days when a youngster would come and ball boy for the likes of Jimmy Connors in an exhibition match after school? What's all this rock camp stuff/ that'll do nothing but turn a fella into a deviante.
Benny Sizzler Tennis Coach
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 16:02:38 (EDT)

GEEK POST- you've been warned. This one is mind blowing ifen ya get it. pocket universes and a new theory of gravity

One example, he said, is to confine all the forces of our universe to a four-dimensional plane known as a membrane, or "brane," which is sandwiched between other branes. Then let gravity escape to a fifth dimension that's perpendicular to the plane, Livio explains. The effects of dark matter are then the gravitational influence of other branes on ours.
WiF of gravitational pull
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 15:42:19 (EDT)

Ditka fer Da Senate
WiF football on my mind
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 15:19:35 (EDT)

Faux News dun been Outfoxed
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 14:03:33 (EDT)

best part's the NYERMMMM sound
boris
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 13:47:37 (EDT)

Oh yeah--she was wearing her Sepultura tshirt and samurai headband at the hospital--Amy swore she did it just to piss her off.
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 11:22:47 (EDT)

Beatles shiz down under
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 11:09:02 (EDT)

you're schmoopie
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 11:03:44 (EDT)

oops, here be the movie poster

WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:57:57 (EDT)

Maybe BS can get Strong Bad and the Cheat to direct their new flash music video?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:57:04 (EDT)

or maybe it's an italian movie...
LIBIDO
As a young child Christian suffered a traumatic experience that has scared his psyche forever. His father, a sexual deviant, set up his bedroom with mirrors on the walls and chains on the bed. One evening things get out of control as Christian sees his father murder his mistress while she is chained to the bed....

WiF my wimpy skimpy
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:56:28 (EDT)

this is libido

it's either that stuff or an italian sports car.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:52:51 (EDT)

She didn't go in till 6:30 last night but was out of surgery by 9:30. All went well and I expect you could visit this evening? I can't make it till tomorrow. She's at W&I.
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:50:27 (EDT)

chong beat me to the punch, but I prefered
Lesson 1: Make it a little more dirty.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:41:32 (EDT)

What IS a libido, anyway?
KOL
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:38:27 (EDT)

Master Timmy requested a mastering session for Wednesdee. So Ben Ahflek can cut his head off after that. KOL, you missed quite the gift session on sat.
Master Stiv Bators
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:33:15 (EDT)

Lesson #3: Act cool onstage. Benny should take this class!
chong
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:26:23 (EDT)

woah. Hugely good news indeed.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 10:20:37 (EDT)

Many a shot was tossed back last night at the news QOC was in recovery.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 09:35:54 (EDT)

werd to the QoC ...
boris
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 09:30:07 (EDT)

And Timmy? Go cut your own head off. The comedy cd has a BLISTERING relase date of...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 09:07:02 (EDT)

WR, that's the best news I've heard in a long long time. What's the story on visitors?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 09:05:52 (EDT)

yeah well that's musaf and sandbar. what about the third guy, ahflek al-dentay? is he your new partner timmy? ahflek wants you to stay i bet.
du(m)bya
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 06:09:12 (EDT)

Hi guys, Little Timmy here. Listen musaf and sandbar have a message for you. They say if you agree not to release comedy cd then they will set me free.
Little Timmy
USA - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 05:41:24 (EDT)

HEY--anyone in on the pool? If so, the news is it's an 8lb tumor! Non-cancerous & removed fresh this evening.
WR
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 21:24:52 (EDT)

Hey superdudes!

Super Dude
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 20:24:31 (EDT)

Hey anybody, anybody seen cheffy around yet? Or is that a lurk myth that he moved near here?
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 19:35:19 (EDT)

my WiFi iz WtF at the PC library. Gotz the homework dun, but most agitating. Guess I'll have to go drink instead
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 19:16:17 (EDT)

Sizz is nothing if not edumacational
Day Schooler
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 18:15:53 (EDT)

what about that time you got your face kicked in?
yeti
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:40:54 (EDT)

OK after intial perusal of comedy selections I've learned; my organs are failing, both LA and NYC suck, why my organs are failing, and why I need a better SPF.
the comedy summary guy
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:17:44 (EDT)

he's probably in summer skool now, cuz he spent the entire skool year on T-St
former T-St full-timer
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:12:10 (EDT)

why is it I think this person is a dickhe@d?

Mack Remade con Dom
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:08:40 (EDT)

poor little bastard's in summer skool s'why
v!c
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:07:10 (EDT)

m-hawks abound on Thayer St., see em in my wanderings almost every weekend. guess it's the doo that makes em look that bored
WiF of hair say
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 17:02:53 (EDT)

when was the last time you saw a 15 yo w/ mohawk? prolly when you were 15 w/ mohawk

USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:49:30 (EDT)

I hate that friggin' marshmallow
Dotes
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:32:19 (EDT)

alright, the clear channel nazis are at it again. They're trying to stop this billboard from running in Times Sq

WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:29:57 (EDT)

What's up, fools?

WR
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:29:06 (EDT)

That's the most disturbing game of cat's cradle I've ever seen.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:25:07 (EDT)

now is that a pic of chong trussed up like a turkey?
not fessing up
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 16:02:22 (EDT)

...Fluff on the great white way?
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:55:55 (EDT)

First of all, is that good ole Lindsay England or chong with VERY small ears? B) bitter/chocolate woman=funny, 3) I think it's a squirrel hut and d) blow me
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:53:13 (EDT)

And didya know Fluff comes from Lynne? and didya know the Flufferettes used to open fer that other Benny? didya, didya, huh?
WiF-o-missing-bracket
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:52:16 (EDT)

And didya know Fluff comes from Lynne? and didya know the Flufferettes used to open fer that other Benny? didya, didya, huh?
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:51:19 (EDT)

just had to post this noggin as it is court martialed

USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:39:26 (EDT)

RIP Weezie...RIP...

USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:32:58 (EDT)

vic = gerbot
Drugsy
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:22:53 (EDT)

Can someone please explain this to me. What is that thing in the middle? A pagoda? A parking garage? A basket? An air vent? Did chong draw this? Please send help.

USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:20:35 (EDT)

don't be a'scared if you're v!cless for awhile...just remember: v!c>gerbil>robot
v!c
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 15:18:12 (EDT)

+ + = ?
WiF likes hiz chocolate like he likes hiz wimenz
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 14:25:10 (EDT)

Weezie dun gone
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:58:56 (EDT)

Not as many dirtee hippees this year. Seemed like you couldn't move for them last year. But I wasn't cooking this year so I wasn't as disturbed by their communal odor.
WR
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:57:06 (EDT)

Drugsy's right once again. I heard his gigs were almost a little sad. Like burning your comedy CD in some one elses basement.
Doff
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:51:35 (EDT)

That's 50 States, 50 Laughs, dumbass.
Drugsy
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:49:54 (EDT)

PS to Wif and any other html losers who might be eavesdropping on this developing story: MJ spend GOOD MONEY on the s'mores fixings even when considering that many dirty hippies might try to share.
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:44:53 (EDT)

MJprefers the comics of the Little Lotta and Dot Polka variety (spinoffs from the more mainstream Richie Rich series)

USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:41:53 (EDT)

not cow chips? they were too big fer onion chips.... or were they?
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:38:42 (EDT)

Neil Hamburger at the Century Lounge tomorree???!!! For real Neil. 100 laughs in 100 cities Neil Hamburger????!!!
Doff
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:35:47 (EDT)

Now let me tell you this and let me tell you that (just feel the need to yap) actually I don't really have anything to say. I'm speechless actually. Except that maybe gerbil>robot =funny and who knows how I can get the QOC a Johhnny Damon bobblehad bout the size of the Pedro one?
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:27:07 (EDT)

THOSE WEREN'T COW CHIPS!
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:24:26 (EDT)

because veek, there is such a thing as a {big} tag in html and you stotted one by mistake....
boris
- Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:19:39 (EDT)

font changed on a yet! post and yet! has no idea why...was merely going to sh!t on Gulla and BOOM! font different
v!c
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:16:25 (EDT)

Namor = Vulcan?
DonDoff
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:11:36 (EDT)

alright who font fotted
WiF of indignation
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 13:03:44 (EDT)

gulla
dirty yeti
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:53:41 (EDT)

5 outta 6 homestand and still 7 back...how 'bout them dirty apples...one ton shotgun always appreciates chong pose for CD cover
v!c>gerbil>robot
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:52:31 (EDT)

There are 3 bands in this town that I will go see every time they are playing. They are: Katie Lee Hooker, Blues Bastard, and the sizz. Not to mention the worthy Suicide Liquors, Sleazies, Young Americans, Lucky 57, Magnificent 7, et al. But Bob Gulla thinks 'The Slip' and 'Surprise Me Mr Davis' are more important to talk about. How did this guy get a job, ever?
KOL
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:37:39 (EDT)

sorry but....this crosses line between preparation and just bein' pussies
doris
- Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:31:39 (EDT)

Pretty cool WiF. My oldest issue of Namor is the one where he swings at the first fish every time. Heard Cd from muddy briefs with Lester too. I already bootleg to china and rumford.
chong
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:03:14 (EDT)

I stand out-nerded by chong. But I actually had a few pre-FF4 Sub-Mariners.
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:46:12 (EDT)

How does chong hear comedy CD? This is unacceptable. Heads will roll Little Timmy, heads will roll.
DonDoff
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:46:02 (EDT)

Jeez, who am i WiF?
chong
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:33:37 (EDT)

I got jewl case for you!

chong
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:32:31 (EDT)

Dont forget old skool Bill everett version. Long before Stan Lee decided to make him fom atlantis in Fantastic Four #4. Prince Namor was just a good old Nazi and Jap killer.

chong
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:27:37 (EDT)

Another brilliant letter to the editor at the Narragansett Times: "To the Editor: [Re: "Pier cops bust big-time steroid pusher] I think this is really, really sad. He's a steroid dealer, not a crack dealer. Regardless of the mass media misinformation regarding steroid usage, they are not dangerous, do not cause addiction, and do not endanger other's lives (as do alcohol, crack, heroin). I think the government would be better off regulating more dangerous substances (including alcohol, which kills more people yearly, than any other substance)-and it's legal. I feel for this guy. I really don't know what to say. He's selling steroids to willing buyers, and is now facing up to 40 years in prison. Meanwhile, there are a host of other stories, and crimes, far worse than this; the violators remain free. How about the men that decided to use puppies for target practice with fireworks? Where's the justice there? This list goes on."
WR
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 11:09:24 (EDT)

and in answer to WR's question...
original old school

and pitiful new variation

WiFmor
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 10:46:40 (EDT)

Heard the new cd friday night. Gerbil>robot. Kickstart my face is honor. When chong get copy?
Chong
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 10:16:06 (EDT)

So these two characters claiming to be lurkers show up at the LPQ about 3 minutes before the place closes and claim they have smores for all. Well, no wonder they showed up late. Their smores supplies consisted of a half-empty past-freshness-dating jar of sum generic Fluffernutter substitute, cow chips with Hershey written in magic marker on the side of each one, and greasy-brown used pan scrubbies that they kept pulling out of a delapidated old graham cracker box. So after eating 3 or 4 of em I say HEY, you didn't even bring enough for everybody. So one of em says they brought salad too and I notice the other one filling up a plastic bag with weeds from next to the dumpster, and the next thing I know they're claiming this is sum sorta exotic greens (and reds, and oranges, and browns). After eating a bunch of the greens, I saw her eyeing the dumpster to replenish the bag, so I figgered it was time to call their bluff. Soon as they realized what I was asking, one runs and starts up the car, cums running back and gives me a CD with a picture of sum guy about to fellate sum dildo on a stick, and before I could express my revulsion they were speeding off into the darkness.
WiF dumpster salad in my fots this morning
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 09:36:32 (EDT)

Burr iz a descendant, and I do mean descendant, of dat Burr
WiF
USA - Monday, July 12, 2004 at 09:06:46 (EDT)

All they said was that Pete Burr was out of town. I thought maybe the Sleazies were on tour somewhere. Boy was I wrong
WR
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 21:51:49 (EDT)

Well gosh-darnit, MJ. We passed like 2 ships in the night again. So you heard good/bad news from QOC? Will be calling Amy for updates tomorree and Tues morning & will probably head to hospital Wed night for a wee visit with the old queen. Argh--must remember to email Dexter.....someone remind me please?
WR
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 21:40:34 (EDT)

Sorry we missed you, MJ. I was being a baby and wanted to go down to W@kefield. Must have just missed you. But I want that rekkid so we might have to just lay a siege to yer front lawn.
KOL
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 21:16:55 (EDT)

that's because 'salad cream' is an extremely 'exotic', not to mention desirable, lip-smacking delight. it is in a class of it's own.
Cream of Meat
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 20:47:04 (EDT)

Damon = Nomad
Fod
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 20:11:55 (EDT)

least the marlins/mets have won what, a combined 3 World Series since '86, TS. we're still rooting for the same buncha lepers. sad. verrah verrah sad.
boris
- Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 19:19:00 (EDT)

Funny, there was no mention of "Salad Cream" on the table of condiments.
TS
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 17:15:56 (EDT)

silly TS, don't you know, i don't have a mind...
MEAThead
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 17:04:45 (EDT)

Crew unscathed as 5,000 pounds of fireworks explode in Wellfleet
with picture!
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 14:45:47 (EDT)

Joke on basic principles of American life If a woman puts a cup of hot coffee on the car seat between her legs when she is driving and talking on mobile phone at the same time, and the coffee gets spilt and burns her thighs, she blames the restaurant for this. If your son commits suicide, you blame rock-"n"-roll or his favorite musician. If you smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years and finally die of lung cancer, your family accuses the tobacco company. If your daughter gets pregnant from the captain of the school football team, you blame school for bad sexual education. If your neighbor crashed the car onto the tree when he was drunk and was driving home - the barman is guilty. If your relative got AIDS when he injected drugs to himself with the dirty syringe - the government is guilty as it did not provide him with the sterile syringe. If your grandchildren are bullies - television is guilty. If some psycho killed your friend - the weapons producer is guilty. If some other psycho breaks in the airplane cabin and tries to kill the pilot when the plane is high in the sky, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the killed guy accuses the air company. I have lived long enough to understand what the world is about. If I die when sitting at this computer, I want you to accuse Bill Gates.
your friendly neighborhood commie
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 14:38:44 (EDT)

I must confess that I was at the Marlins/Mets game yesterday, but the tickets (and beer) were free AND I didn't cheer for anyone.
TS
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 12:51:16 (EDT)

well if you said you were bringing smore action i would have brought the whole family
smore-bot
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 12:11:35 (EDT)

Seriously tho, Namor's dad is RAMON? Like the NOODLE? Doesn't it make more sense to becalled ROMAN? I mean, i can see RAMONE but RAMON?
MJ®
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 11:54:02 (EDT)

Namor has stuck, I'm afraid. He can be named no other. and all because of missing spallcheck... In other news: made it to the decatur LPQ but seein' as all 9 innings had to be watched back at the shack, MJ was a little late to the festivities. Heard that KOL and WR were there earlier, but did catch a WiF and a QOC.But no reportage of Boris nor Chef.
MJ®
USA - Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 11:51:59 (EDT)

"Hostage" Timmy "Escapes" to Lebanon

- Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 09:00:22 (EDT)

random got-dam people liked lurk-inspired namor joke very much. one drunk guy whom i think said he was korea (wearing the back bay black turtleneck uniform, which was even funnier) said "his father's name is roman? he's italian?" shit you not. one other singularly blasted lady kept SCREAMING "me so bellhorny". i mean sweet jesu, MCCARTY had what, 3 hits? does that double his season total?
boris
- Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 23:12:21 (EDT)

you can't fool me with your plant-bots. love your site!
cLICK me
USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 15:44:08 (EDT)

look
very well hung. and purple.
USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 14:46:20 (EDT)

Egg toss @ last year's Decatur LPQ

USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 13:41:46 (EDT)

free slushies @ 7/11 on sunday. its they burfday.
i like the flavor 'blue'
USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 13:17:09 (EDT)

But their results backed up claims by the Observer columnist Sue Arnold, who suffers from retinitis pigmentosa and is officially registered blind. She noticed several years ago that drawing on strong Jamaican skunk suddenly and temporarily enabled her to see things clearly.
But Ms Arnold has since warned of side-effects that could impede night-time navigation.
"Only trouble was," she said, "I couldn't stand up."
When spliff gets in your eyes...
USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 13:03:06 (EDT)

is that Todd?
he looks really cool
USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 13:02:20 (EDT)

Another snap from last year's Decatur LPQ

USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 17:45:58 (EDT)

Yes boris. Court can be hell on a fella.
Don
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 17:35:06 (EDT)

On the alleyway to hell?
WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:51:00 (EDT)

and Boondocks is still doing the 20 year flashback

WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:34:08 (EDT)

stolen line to pass arund this weekend as if you were clever enough to have thought of it yourself-
"You need two Johns to flush the cr@p out of the White House."
WiF a plunger back-up
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:31:46 (EDT)

Cameron Diaz- S&M video need I say more
WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:28:20 (EDT)

is that don?
boris
- Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:26:05 (EDT)

I...LOVE...YOU...!

USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:22:45 (EDT)

good day cruel crullers
v!c
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:19:10 (EDT)

hey, live video of cumshots!
(the band)
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:07:16 (EDT)

trust me on this one, veek....all rude gestures will be directed toward north station. franchise (b)ruined. howbout a fresca? howbout an $8 sam?
boris
- Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:07:00 (EDT)

And for those checking the k-ball action prior to LPQ (dat's longpig Q) at QOC central. Ye just might spot a hirsute lurker of the Real Yankees ilk, sporting this very hat thus

and sum shoes not very unlike these yonder booties

WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 16:02:58 (EDT)

recommend you not expose your DIRTY laundry at Fenway tomorree...
v!c
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 15:18:40 (EDT)

trust me on this, you want to be her...YOU WANT TO BE HER!

USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 15:13:26 (EDT)

another blah day in yetiville...think the sox'll take texas tech in a sweep?
yet!
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 15:12:21 (EDT)

chong gets below a beardless WiF?
who knew?
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 15:08:10 (EDT)

Last year's Decatur BBQ.

USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 15:05:23 (EDT)

buy the ticket and take the ride.
WR
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:55:19 (EDT)

fot-free sure, but stool quality to die for...
boris
- Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:43:19 (EDT)

Wish there were pics for MY fav condiments: mayostard, mustardayonnaise, and mustmayostardayonnaise (of course in addition to my all time favorite--Astroglide!)
WR
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:42:31 (EDT)

hmmmm.... perhaps a modification of that dubya to BS....
WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:32:36 (EDT)

I said, your search is over!
WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:30:59 (EDT)

Have you been looking desperately for a condiment that properly reflects your American values and can add proudly to the taste of your freedom fries? WELL! Your search is over!

check the comments for further laughs
WiF
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 14:29:04 (EDT)

OK, a couple amusing ones. Looks like good ole Rupy did himself up the wazoo with the Kerry/Gephardt gaff. And after dumbya's microshiz was requested to air some old laundry, it has met with sum untimely demise on just the dates in question.
WiF of inadvertent lurking
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:47:57 (EDT)

gargler the gargoyle
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:43:14 (EDT)

Went to do the traffic court shiz last night and arrived at city hall to find it locked up tight. After circling the building several times and making a suggestive comment to some bag lady, I went on my merry way in a confused state. I got home, looked at the summons and realized the address was on right street but wrong number for city hall. Since last I was before the judge they moved the damn municipal court behind the senior center near PCD (sure it saves on transport of them criminal seniors). So of course I'm late big time. finally get past the gaunntlet of clerks to speak to the orifice in charge and guess what? Remember that "if-ya-ain't-been-popped-in-3-years-ya-get-a-pass" bit? Well as I predicted, I was 2 years 11 months and around 20 days into the 3 years (I cr@p you negative). The orifice looked me up and down, indicated the kneepads in the corner, and well.... He's rescheduling the date so it'll be past the 3 year mark. Anybody got any Lavoris?
WiF is as longwinded as hiz fots
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:39:11 (EDT)

hey, TS, do you want a naughty penpal?
i have some ideas
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:38:18 (EDT)

The letter testifies to MJ's "ungovernable lust" and describes various ways in which he wishes to satisfy his desires.
letter smashes sale record
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:36:32 (EDT)

PS- NONE of the men were wearing a too tight Hanson tee shirt either!
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:30:00 (EDT)

HOLY CRAP! I JUST SEEN REAL LIVE MEN JUMPIN' OUTTA HELICHOPPERS INTO THE WATER!!!
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:29:03 (EDT)

hey, TS! my secret sauce IS getting a little stale...
yours, Meatfully
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 13:13:25 (EDT)

stupid dirty former California Education Secretary
v!c
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 12:31:11 (EDT)

any closet Hanson fans on the lurk?
v!c
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 12:20:15 (EDT)

Silly lurkers, after the kickball games of course! It is a kickball BBQ. I would say after 6:50pm. Maybe little Timmy Timmy Cupcake will be cooking and serving.
WR
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 12:09:34 (EDT)

BBQ! Hopefully the taco truck shows up. Mmmm burritos and Mudhoney records.
KOL
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 10:45:00 (EDT)

BBQ tomorrow?
Don
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 10:43:46 (EDT)

Good morning, lurk. Now's the time to figure out if your mustard has seen better days.
TS
USA - Friday, July 09, 2004 at 09:33:17 (EDT)

I'm tellin' ya, it's not my melon.
DLowe
- Friday, July 09, 2004 at 08:16:49 (EDT)

gee, wonder why bostonbruins.com isn't all over this story. wonder why.
boris
- Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 20:29:11 (EDT)

here i come, y'all

the Big Unit
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 19:13:10 (EDT)

Where's the candle?
Don the Baker
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 19:01:06 (EDT)

that cake is not anatomically correct
Lurkus Welby, M.D. <burning@farts.blorg>
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 18:25:31 (EDT)

Topping the recent list is Minneapolis gastroenterologist Michael Levitt, a specialist in intestinal gas, who determines potentially critical medical symptoms by the smell of what his research subjects expel with the help of two "flatulence judges." Talk about a bad day at work: Levitt's odor appraisers are sometimes asked to appraise the odor of more than 100 samples. ///////// Other odiferous jobs: No. 2 on the list went to the "stool sample analyzers" who work in a Virginia Tech research project on treatment for diarrhea and dysentery.//////// The third spot on the list belongs to a technician from the University of California who collects something from amorous dairy bulls that you'd think only that bull's girlfriend would be interested in.
or maybe chong
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 18:12:23 (EDT)

$1,450 per c^msh*t
she should lose the lip ring, but still...
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 18:09:47 (EDT)

oh my god
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 18:09:39 (EDT)

Your guestbook is gross
Roger Holiston
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 17:59:10 (EDT)

that "cake" is "made" by the "sprinkles"
yeti spagetti
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 17:32:42 (EDT)

that's "icky"
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 17:12:51 (EDT)

Congratulations on your fisished album. I baked you a cake. Vic, keep your tongue off it til someone serves a piece.

The SHNEAK
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 17:10:42 (EDT)

Neil Hamburger Struggles To Get Out From Under Neath The Burden of Oppressive Financial Debt

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 17:02:28 (EDT)

The only secret song on the comedy cd is the laugh track. How long does it take to tell five jokes anyway?
Doff
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:59:32 (EDT)

WiF, tell the cops you hate long pig pigs, flash your hairy ass and run like the wind.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:53:21 (EDT)

off to EP traffic court for porn drive-by offense. if it's been 3 years, no fine. So you know that last time I barely remember was 2 years 11 months and 29 days ago.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:48:50 (EDT)

Never mind the gigundo funbags, it's all about the TOP CUT SHOWPIG sires
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:48:20 (EDT)

Mission Misunderimpossible? If captured we'll deny any knowledge of you and your mission.
WiF Phelps
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:35:14 (EDT)

Don = clean head carriage, stress status carrier
Man Janesfield
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 16:03:56 (EDT)

Spamalot
boris
- Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:48:28 (EDT)

Jungle Emperor Leo!
WR
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:37:59 (EDT)

i'm pleased to observe that google image for naked white dwarf brings you this:

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:23:29 (EDT)

gigundo funbags!!!

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:13:38 (EDT)

Punk Roc x Alley Cat x Barracuda=
oh my god
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:11:30 (EDT)

THE ABC has come under fire for wasting taxpayers' money on a new website which encourages children to "make better farts".
Aunty's got wind
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 15:10:25 (EDT)

gogigyeopbbang and a coke please
stinkoman
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:57:42 (EDT)

Vic, are they a size 11.5?
Joe Jamiel
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:56:40 (EDT)

Secret song! I can’t believe it’s you! I never knew it was true… Oh secret song! Secret song, soooooooooong!! You’re the secretest song on the album, secret song. Songs are made of mysteries. And clouds of made of moon beams, secret song. Secret song… I love you…All night long. I can’t stand to see you go. Secret song…I love you so. Wait….good enough.
Looking for a Rainbow
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:48:38 (EDT)

long-pig burger, anyone?
that's MR. ill to you capitalist swinehünts
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:42:24 (EDT)

Um, did you just call me Stinkoman?
Strong Bad
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:40:34 (EDT)

i'm currently wearing shoes that were once a little too small for me but now seem to fit just fine
yeti spagetti
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:39:10 (EDT)

"We may not know much about soccer or whatever it is they're doing out there," said the head of one sports entertainment agency, "but I can tell you this: line up a bunch of jiggling girls with gigundo funbags at both ends of the field, have them jiggle, gyrate and grind for a few minutes and then turn them loose on each other, and....well, that's a little thing we call Numero Uno in the Neilson ratings."

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:35:32 (EDT)

Don is 0-2 vs. Stinkoman... or Stinkoman always kicks Don's ass.
Doff
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:21:21 (EDT)

WiF on his new cell phone!

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:18:06 (EDT)

I'll have the curried longpig w/basmati rice
Leo Pard
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:15:26 (EDT)

here's the tease headline of the day- Naked White Dwarf
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 14:13:11 (EDT)

bee ell ooh me first
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:43:40 (EDT)

someone needs to step up and kick princess vicky in the ballz, she's getting nippy...

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:37:24 (EDT)

"I am sorry, but JOHN @SSCROFT just had his hemorrhoids removed and has asked that everyone 'just stand awhile' with him."
"I am sorry, but JOHN ASHCROFT is making all of these puffy clouds look like evil trolls and I'm really freaking out now."
Punter X. Chompson
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:31:07 (EDT)

did anyone notice the irony that the porn stealing dude's name was
No--wak--owski
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:25:41 (EDT)

someone needs to "step" up and kick-start this lurk's face
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:21:05 (EDT)

WE KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT
Merv the perv
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 13:20:32 (EDT)

i MEANT i was gonna to wave my nick johnson bobble-head doll at the NESN camera. pervs.
doris
- Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:58:04 (EDT)

yawn
headless yet!
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:40:38 (EDT)

For all you hidden conservatives out there, secretly in support of the "Patriot" Act. So far, my fav is "I am sorry, but JOHN ASHCROFT's Subaru won't start and he needs you to bring some jumper cables to the DOJ parking lot." Although that sounds a little more like Chong than @sscroft.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:39:14 (EDT)

that's thev with a silent v
spallbound lurker
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:01:42 (EDT)

DON vs. STINKOMAN

WR
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:01:36 (EDT)

no kiddie stuff fer me. I'm waiting till Sharipova turns 18 to start stalking her. But on the wireless tip, how thev frig is using a wireless connection stealing?
WiF car seat covers to prevent staining
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 12:00:04 (EDT)

just how lowe can you go?

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:57:34 (EDT)

Looks like my azz is back on the auction block. (sigh)we've been whored off so many times now I've worn through 3 sets of kneepads. anybody got any Lavoris?
WiF mocked down for quick sale
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:54:36 (EDT)

You better watch your wireless connection while WiF is driving around.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:50:34 (EDT)

Wee wee!

USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:33:26 (EDT)

So do we call this dog a freedom poodle?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:28:13 (EDT)

dem Hungarian kids iz wikked smot
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:26:23 (EDT)

a starting bid of $75 is far too modest...I mean, look at that head!
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 11:20:15 (EDT)

Lest we forget this travesty...
Bid NOW
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 10:57:04 (EDT)

"No one misses hikers" =funny funny funny
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 10:55:43 (EDT)

We would like to rent the space between timmy's head and neck. What would be the price on that? We plan on towing a banner behind our cessna promoting our new album entitled "No one misses hikers". In a media event we will fly the plane through that space. This will be a great thing for us and you as well. It may take us a few tries so be patient. We look forward to hearing from you.
Rented Cessna
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 10:39:38 (EDT)

The heads come off on Macs, PC and ALL long pigs eventually. See? Little Timmy buys it but so do his "captors". We all buyt it!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 09:58:19 (EDT)

I was thinkin' the heads come off on pc's and stay on on macs?
WR
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 09:35:56 (EDT)

Listen, it's all about the Pokey, okay? POKEY!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 09:03:16 (EDT)

Um, aaron McGruder the genius who writes 'Boondocks', was 9 or 10 in 1984. He was busy practicing poppin n lockin in 1984.
KOL
USA - Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 08:47:48 (EDT)

think the levitating heads work like the blue/red light on top of the berkeley building in boston. heads off = rain forecast. heads on = snow forecast, except in summer when it means Sox postponed. only timmy's head off = imminent fatwa.
boris
- Thursday, July 08, 2004 at 07:25:08 (EDT)

hey wait, their heads are back on--what's going on here? GREAT cartoon finds, WiF!
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 20:14:17 (EDT)

and two from the nostrildumbass school of cartooning

WiF of things past
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 19:24:41 (EDT)

mama bush speaks
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 19:22:33 (EDT)

I knew Donaldson was a shady character.
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 18:49:20 (EDT)

mealy mouthed chief fuckwit in charge

USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 18:42:40 (EDT)

I thought the name was Bulkhead Bangers
WiF
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 18:19:46 (EDT)

I heard the album is called Back in Brown.
-----
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 18:15:04 (EDT)

The "Cumshots" playng the "Quart" music Festival =perfect. And WR, yeah sorry ass picture of "Anastasia" I know, but the best we could do without lifting a finger and without a lurker sending a high quality scan (as requested).
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 17:56:12 (EDT)

D Minus > D Lowe
Ray C.
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 17:27:57 (EDT)

kenny boy finally getz got. Only the dumbya domino left to fall.
WiF of dirty books and missing html
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:59:21 (EDT)

WiF of dirty books
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:57:37 (EDT)
I see someone beat me to it (pardon the expression), but worth a second post fer sure

Cumshots provided the background music as the couple had intercourse right in front of the audience. A banner was raised on stage informing the audience that the couple was having sex to save the rainforest.
WiF willing to do his part for the rainforest with sharipova
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:34:43 (EDT)
son of Chong

USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:13:19 (EDT)
You guys should call this page the "not lurk". Ha! chong is back and funniest than ever! You fucks not carry candle to chong comedy prowess! Your cd probably have one joke and it about lines at airport. PS. chong really no have kid yet. Will inform lurk before own parents.
chong
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:10:07 (EDT)
keep Mr. Slate in your trousers

USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 16:04:56 (EDT)
howbout Mr. Gladbag?
doris
- Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 15:17:56 (EDT)
and keep Mr. Gladstone in your pants
ps
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 15:11:45 (EDT)
game 2 of 3 on SaturDEE, yes Texas Tech
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 15:08:28 (EDT)
saving up for sad'day nite vic. doris at the fens. who we playing? me it beats the shit outta. texas? matters not. shall even, yea and verily, wave my johnson at the NESN cameras. to inspire WtF on his fitty-word quest for whatever the hell he's trying to write. i forget. GB to be reduced further.
dirty
- Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 15:02:25 (EDT)
lurk=loggy
yetski
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 14:44:59 (EDT)
evidence

USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 13:45:19 (EDT)
"Sourcenext products are just 1980 Yen?! Oh, my Goodness....!" She faints suddenly. A guy rushs to her and says, "She is having a baby!" Everyone looks at her anxiously. The guy says, "Now, the baby was born!" And for no special reason, she had a colt. It tries to rise unsteadily to its feet. "Oh! It stands up!" Everybody is moved.
nice trick
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 13:13:18 (EDT)
«The goal is to take over the entire commercial porn industry and transfer all the money to protection of the environment,» Ellingsen explained.
of course. warning. this band is called cumshots. um.
posting this a little too close to the sheep/Wif thing
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 13:11:28 (EDT)
Damn that Sneak!
KOL
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 12:56:42 (EDT)
Hey Mean Joe, got the RI Foundation yearbook today--you get offa yer fat @ss and git to the liberry fer that there picturh of Anastasia? She don't look like no stinkin' royalty to me--& I know from Russian royalty having been friends with another pretender to white-dom down Westerly way (sadly deceased also).
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 11:59:06 (EDT)
yeah well. seems captain jumbo joe is soon gone too. along with namor. see that tron? real good PR. not to mention instant buzz fucker-upper. (sigh) there's always the LPGA....
boris
- Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 11:54:30 (EDT)
that is the fuckin' cova...AND I'm fuggin' HIGH...
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 11:25:15 (EDT)
the formula is simplicity itself: Red Sox win, Yankees lose...eh dirty doris?
not yet!
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 11:24:18 (EDT)
If this isn't the fucking COVA than you are all FUCKING HIGH

USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 11:23:46 (EDT)
good eye...their heads have been cut clean off
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 10:49:25 (EDT)
it's the brand-new musical instrument sensation....the cranial theramin!
boris
- Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 10:49:23 (EDT)
what in the world is going on with Timmy's and his captors' heads? ARe they levitating?
WR
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 10:21:51 (EDT)
there is way more sh!t here than in my press k!t
v!c
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 10:11:29 (EDT)
me and the sheep (that's "sheep", plural)were merely dating and it didn't involve any heavy shearing.... well there was that one time where static cling became a bit of an issue. And plectrum, I'll begin saving the beard remnants just in case.
WiF a wooly disposition
USA - Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 09:45:14 (EDT)
What would Hairy and the Poopers new record cover look like?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 20:02:45 (EDT)
wanna see danzig get his ass kicked?
click here!
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 19:10:15 (EDT)
i am straight-up pimpin', yo!
more than i can handle, really...
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:58:15 (EDT)
but i'm already a pussy, what do i get?
whoa whoa what do i get
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:56:38 (EDT)
I wanna be your dog-off
Icky Pop
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:44:23 (EDT)
please don't use "sheep" and "on" and "WiF" in the same sentence
a concerned farmer
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:42:34 (EDT)
that's the muthafuckin' cova!!!

USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:25:20 (EDT)
PS- Plectrum get off the computer before you hurt yourself
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:18:01 (EDT)
PS-I'm muthafrickin lurker number 156000 !!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:15:17 (EDT)
If we're having a dog-off to see who's pooch makes it into the Defecatur ad, then my Onion is sure to win because SHE IS IN A WHEELCHAIR AND WHEELCHAIR'S COMMAND RESPECT
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 18:13:27 (EDT)
I ♥ the inner thighs!
Creme de Salad
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:53:29 (EDT)
some one needs to get some sheep sheers on WiF...I bet he actually only weight one fiddy
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:51:45 (EDT)
Family Jewel Case is the name of my next pablum!
William Shitner
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:48:49 (EDT)
I vote yes on border collies @ the defecatur.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:39:49 (EDT)
I need to get clippers to do the shavedown correctly. Right now he looks like someone randomly cut his hair with scissors (which they did). I'm thinking he needs to visit the Decatur on Sat to have all the city dogs laugh at him, too. Also think this is the only way QOC will put pic of him in Decatur advertisement.
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:26:24 (EDT)
Make that the same AREA CODE.
PS
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:16:52 (EDT)
They day you're in the same room no less the same bed as Sharipova, I'll eat your beard shavings.
Plectrum
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 17:15:28 (EDT)
I'll see what I can do to check Sharipova's creamy inner thigh and get back to you when my sack is drained
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:58:08 (EDT)
Just wait til my CD 'release'...
ZsnEKE
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:36:11 (EDT)
A day late and a centime short but worth a re-visit
Space Ship One
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:33:54 (EDT)
Ghey album=funny
Lawrence
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:32:32 (EDT)
The 'Ghey album'
------
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:27:35 (EDT)
Hammerants=Meathead...?
Guesser
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:27:20 (EDT)
I am going to overdub recorder solos over every song using my trusty TASCAM 4 track. ROCK! It will become infamous like the 'Grey album'.
Snee K.
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:27:13 (EDT)
An example off the cd..."WiF is so hairy he makes my ass look like Maria Sharipova's creamy inner thigh"
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:17:15 (EDT)
beggin' to wax back = semi-funny; as for jewel cases, who needs 'em just put that sh!t in your back pocket; as for games back, the sky's the limit eh dirty; and as for Chong Jr, see picture below (me)
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:16:43 (EDT)
PS-tell me about dog haircutz WR. My 3 got shavedowns that make Millar and Kappla look hirsute. Boris, Middleblob is FILLED with opportunities for you.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:14:15 (EDT)
will any of the limited release jewel cases include any hair festooned wax samples?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:14:01 (EDT)
Hey that "limited jewel case" joke about the BS Comedy CD was pretty funny. Too bad with it's "release" my b@nd will be going straight to the TOP and you, whoever you are, will be BEGGING to wax my back.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:11:27 (EDT)

guess who?
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:48:36 (EDT)
here are some nice pictures
tennis, anyone?
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:41:56 (EDT)
test your Indecency Quotient
mine is 100%
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:40:00 (EDT)
would you like some oil to go with your daily meat? click my face!

USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:36:00 (EDT)
Despite the tragedy, Clausen was in high spirits. “If that is the worst thing that ever happens to me, then I am in pretty good shape. Accidents sometimes happen, especially when you are dealing with dumb-ass teenagers.”
Reed felt terrible about the incident. “I love my granny (Clausen) and feel horrible about what happened. Next time I mess with fireworks I am going to make sure there aren’t any old people around.”
ha
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:34:11 (EDT)
"I used to feel safe when I ate at McDonald's," said Crumpet resident Kathleen Turner, "But these days I find myself wondering, 'Is it really safe to fill my inner ear with sweet and sour sauce?' and 'Is jabbing these coffee stirrers into my kidneys not promoting good dietary health?' and 'What would be a good third comedic question for me to ask now?' These are the sort of things that I just can't know if I'm not explicitly warned."
Hamburgler, Fry Kids Rounded Up for Questioning
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:32:55 (EDT)
New Chong progeny. v!c

USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:10:54 (EDT)
Chong has officially procreated? Dear dog in heaven help us.
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 15:02:02 (EDT)
commended at some point IN THE FUTURE...see...IN THE FUTURE
Yetinski
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:58:00 (EDT)
v'c

USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:44:20 (EDT)
WOW--an hour and a half of real wurk has done drained me. Where's my iced tea? Anyone?
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:33:56 (EDT)
cross-dressing improves your chances of getting laid
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:29:00 (EDT)
Eight is Enough.
Vic Van Patten
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:09:40 (EDT)
hmm. so after tonite = precisely ½ over. hmm. eight. merely....eight. hmmm. vic?
doris
- Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 14:02:32 (EDT)
Do comedy CD gotz name? Or do we just call it "Hey you!"
WiF
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 13:49:28 (EDT)
I did not receive a jewel case myself. Must've been the 12th copy.
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 13:26:16 (EDT)
So...uh...what is going to happen with the record? Label? Tour? Feel good hit of the summer? Is it true the first 11 copies come with a jewel case?
Edwards and Sneak in 08
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 13:17:50 (EDT)
holy back to the grind with bad radio to boot...MJ, don't think I can't hear that "back up vocal" on the LA sh!!te starter...LOUD n' CLEAR
v!c
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 13:08:39 (EDT)

WiF got dewey panties on
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 12:33:46 (EDT)
I am a shiftless layabout! Wurk this morning included trimming one dog down to his undercoat. If you saw him, you would ask me to never, never, never cut your hair. I once had a black and white dog and a brown and white dog. I now have a black and white dog and a mostly white dog with a brown head. I hope all the neighborhood dogs get a good laugh in 'cause it's funny! And now I must go to real wurk. Dirty, stay in Borewick.
WR
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:54:04 (EDT)
still maintain: nice set of matched Brownings = kid doesn't even need great aim.

- Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:52:34 (EDT)
That was fake Chong. Chong no have kid yet. Only gun Chong ever have is for duck hunt.
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:51:44 (EDT)
have been banned in EP due to years of verbal abuse. more like the 295/146 corridor. chong by the way. congrats. when did this happen?
dirty
- Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:43:32 (EDT)
Now that I have a kid I am thinking of getting a handgun. Any suggestions?
Chong U.S.
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:27:01 (EDT)
Depends on where in the bucket...... No, no it doesn't. Try Rumford! It like beverly hills of Rhode Island!
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:16:27 (EDT)
Oh OK....I thought that since the band is mostly shiftless layabouts then maybe the fans were too. So sorry. I am dishonored.
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:14:39 (EDT)
the bucket v wormtown. upgrade? downgrade? discuss.
dirty
- Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:14:35 (EDT)
Ohhh chong. wrong you are. Just ask 'ole WR 'bout my propensity for talking about work. I just don't want to bring the lurk down, because trust me, it would.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 11:06:39 (EDT)
KOL sounds like he live in lap of riches. Never hear him talk on work, just BMW and Motorcycles. What is gives?
Chong
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 10:23:26 (EDT)
Doff, I have discovered motorcycling nerdvana in the western part of the state. Sat am we did 146 N to Twin river road, to RT116 to 44 to Snake Hill Rd to 102 N to 100 into Pascoag, ate breakfast, then took 102S all the way to RT2 S to the coast, then back up 1 to Wakefield. Good times. Does anyone remember Pine Top ski area in Escoheag? Trying to find it.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 10:19:52 (EDT)
PS cool M1-24 pix
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 09:17:30 (EDT)
I was rooting for the horseless carriage with the gorrilla in the lawnchair welded to the roof. And what was UP with the fire pigs not being able to find the carriage on FIRE?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 09:04:07 (EDT)
Back in my country I have Demolition Derby in my pants.
Yakov Smirnov
USA - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 07:22:37 (EDT)
Why silly old man, if your WT date had any class he'd have shown you to the seats in the cement stairwells where you could ignore the repeated yet hapless pleas of the Professionals who were to keep them free for safety purposes.
Doff
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 20:58:00 (EDT)
My WT, dirt-track date neglected to mention that one should bring chairs to the gala event or one would find oneself wandering aimlessly/sitting in the dirt in their best holiday clothes. As I am an elderly gentleman, I find long hours standing to be detrimental to my constitution and try to avoid them at all costs, preferring to spend my days lounging on overstuffed sofas, eating bonbons. I found myself in the men's room and decided to take advantage of an empty stall where I could wipe the seat completely and rest my weary legs & feet away from the noise & dirt of the track. Unfortunately, I missed the overturning of one vehicle which I supposed was a highlight of the evening as evidenced by said toothless crowd making much hoopla as I exited the the gent's. We did take a turn about the track--hoping again to find our mates from the lurk and also to take in the true majesty of the audience (and also to keep myself from falling down) just before the lights were dimmed for the celebration of our country's superiority. Failing to sight any of our compatriots, we adjorned to a dusty hill behind a concession stand to admire the lights & noise. Enjoyed the many horseless carriages aflame & the hapless firefighters who could not find the source of one vehicle's continuing inferno. Promptly fell asleep on the way home. Kickball BBQ this weekend, lurkers. I expect to see you all at the Decatur Sat (if not at the field beforehand).
WR
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 20:09:44 (EDT)
i resent the accusation of having evolved
just a single-celled orgasm
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 19:01:22 (EDT)
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Researchers have moved a little bit closer to the day when new teeth can be grown to replace damaged or missing teeth. One set of researchers has succeeded in growing teeth tissue on biodegradable "scaffolding" in rats. Another group has been able to coax stem cells to form tooth structures in mice.
Don Tyste
- Monday, July 05, 2004 at 17:01:03 (EDT)
Hey, is this band any good?
A Wet Sketchy Vendor of Trinkets
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 16:01:41 (EDT)
link
here
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 14:31:45 (EDT)
check out this bird...

USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 14:31:05 (EDT)
"My mother-in-law said the God would be pleased and make rainfall if women till the land naked," Tharu told the Himalayan Times newspaper.
a wise and benevolent god
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 14:30:10 (EDT)
Okay, FUCK. Here's the story KOL, WR and anyone else who went. READY? It's a long one. Not unlike a WiF joke... Okay so, MJ was THERE too. Got there at 8:30pm (don't ask-something about securing the area in anticipation of three elderly dogs shitting their britches re: fireworks since long pig caregiver would not be home to assuage the meltdown) only to find out it was SOLD OUT and the parking lot was full. So parked the long pig mobile in Borrington and hoofed it up Rte 6. Some nice cops (oxymoron, I know) told us we might be able to get in round back. Through the pits was a no-go. So some "gal" out back at the "rear" entrance went, "Okay, for 25 bucks-two of you".(cash straight into her pocket). Proceed to prescribed staging area of dirt covered backstretch in search of lurkers. See many toothless contenders but the not the ones we were looking for. Proceed to mid backstrecth to find other relatives with more teeth. Actually find them. Watch the enduro and two figure eights. Wade back through the masses and look again for lurkers. See none. Go straight to chain link to watch the long pigs detonate the fireworks behind the parking lot. Go back and watch the demo derby. Return home to one paralyzed and laryngetic dog wedged behind a refrigerator and a shop vac. Vow never to leave home ever again.
MJ®
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:36:11 (EDT)
"Worst ska band that ever lived" is redundant.
Doff
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:14:06 (EDT)
Some g@d damned long pig had a garden party and invited the worst ska band that ever lived, who also happened to own a mega-watt® brand PA, to annoy anyone in the Blob.
Drugsy
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:13:23 (EDT)
What are you, fucking high?
Doff
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:07:25 (EDT)
The ska concert came to me - asshole.
Drugsy
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:06:30 (EDT)
What the hell you going to a ska concert for?
Doff
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 13:05:45 (EDT)
re ska: Worst thing I ever heard.
Drugsy
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 12:59:40 (EDT)
Burnt rubber and gunpowder vs. band playing ska cover of Knocking on Heaven's Door.
Dof
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 12:58:25 (EDT)
re-defining EP. or maybe LP. or maybe length of WtF's jokes.
boris
- Monday, July 05, 2004 at 11:42:11 (EDT)
We were there....
KOL
USA - Monday, July 05, 2004 at 11:32:00 (EDT)
clamps her what where now?
boris
- Monday, July 05, 2004 at 10:15:58 (EDT)
you are one hot sexy fVcker, MJ
some dry, hairy armpit
USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 14:27:39 (EDT)
“DukesFest” will feature appearances by a number of the show’s original cast members, including Ben Jones (Cooter), Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke), James Best (Roscoe P. Coltrane), Sonny Shroyer (Enos) and Rick Hurst (Cletus). The General Lee, a 1969 Dodge Charger and truly one of the most famous cars in television history also will be on hand. The car was featured in every episode of the long-running series.

USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 13:59:11 (EDT)
EFF 9/11- banned in the heartland!
frigging knobs
USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 13:51:22 (EDT)
happy FVCK OF JULY, loikers! let's be CAREFUL out there..
For Anglen, the entire incident has one big saving grace:
"I won the lottery (in) that I was the one who got that bottle and not my wife," he said.
drink mickey's
USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 13:50:25 (EDT)
Wackiness: 72/100 Rationality: 54/100 Constructiveness: 70/100 Leadership: 44/100 You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you Paul Begala. You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to. You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised. You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids. Then why does one of my "kids" keep biting people?
WR
USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 12:14:45 (EDT)
I LOVE THE SOX. I love them like a dry hairy armpit. I love Namor. WiF, the Bennett Cerf challenge has been accepted: write a 50 word review of a 15 word BS comedy cd and we'll post it right here.
MJ®
USA - Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 10:08:32 (EDT)
Hey, is this band any good?
A Sketchy Vendor of Trinkets
- Sunday, July 04, 2004 at 09:15:10 (EDT)
it's pronounced "axe" but spalled "ask". oh well. thomas jefferson once said:

The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of Dog. These are grounds of hope.
boris
- Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 19:24:54 (EDT)
no one will notice that these clearly lobotomized women are offering up their sex to a giant hairy armpit as though it was a fat Republican senator and they were a cheap hooker.
yes
USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 16:12:11 (EDT)
every ad for the Gillette Mach 3 razor, for example, features roaring fighter jets and a skanky-hot girlfriend who slithers over to her hunky bulbous dork of a man just after he finishes shaving, and she strokes his smooth rugged manly GQ skin and coos and melts and shoots him a naughty glance that says she would like to be immediately stripped naked and bent over the bathroom sink and made mad grunting 1.7-minute love to before the second-half kickoff. You know, just like real life.
yes
USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 16:10:38 (EDT)
The ads are for a deodorant called "Axe," which is some sort of mass-produced cheap-ass Wal-Mart gag-reflex men's body spray that doubtlessly smells like a rank synthetic admixture of pine cones and road tar and Raid Ant & Roach Death, the scent of which will likely remind you of something your drunk mulleted cousin might've worn to the Spokane Auto Show back in 1984. Mmm, carcinogens.
i prefer lichen in my pits
USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 16:08:42 (EDT)
ahh, romance!

USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 16:05:31 (EDT)
Wackiness: 80/100
Rationality: 24/100
Constructiveness: 76/100
Leadership: 40/100

You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a candle burning at both ends. You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.
In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.
Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.
You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.
damn
USA - Saturday, July 03, 2004 at 16:00:38 (EDT)
Leland Pritchard of Plattsmouth, Neb., displays four different models of 'Exploding Terrorist Heads' fireworks, on sale in a roadside fireworks tent in Plattsmouth, Neb., Tuesday, June 29, 2004. The fireworks sell for $1.99 each or $7.96 for a package titled 'Exploding Terrorists Heads,' which includes the likenesses of 'Sadly Insane (Saddam) Hussein,' 'Rag Hat (Yasser) Arafat', 'Cannibal (Moammar) Kadafi', and Osama bin Laden

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 20:17:35 (EDT)
is this band any funny?
some like it hot
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 19:15:06 (EDT)
OK, Wif fun fact fer ya, so you'll have something non-topical and annoying to bring up at the 4th BBQ. Ad what is more appropriate at a food gathering than green eggs and ham?
In 1980 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel $50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. The result was Green Eggs and Ham. Cerf never paid the $50 bet.

although I hear rumor a certain comedy CD may contain only 15 words and displace Dr Seuss from the brevity throne. But since 15 words is just the entire vocabulary of a certain b*nd, the brevity crown may be disputed.
WiF
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 18:21:28 (EDT)
Just realized it's exactly 4 months till election. So we can officially start chanting FOUR MORE MONTHS FOUR MORE MONTHS
WiF
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 18:05:36 (EDT)
the guitar player looking at colon's @ss looks like he will be scarred for life...
colon pow-wow
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:58:04 (EDT)
continuing with the theme of g@y-ass sailor boys...
click here! actual japanese navy website!
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:31:48 (EDT)
CHICAGO, July 1 /PRNewswire/ -- To celebrate National Hot Dog Month, Chicago-based Vienna® Beef assembled the world's longest hot dog, measuring 37 feet, 2 inches.
but only 17 lbs.!
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:19:48 (EDT)
Seems it never rains in southern Rhode Island Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before It never rains in Matunuck Wakefield, but girl don't they warn ya It pours, man it pours (everywhere else)
WR
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:10:02 (EDT)
what is this with the diana ross action?!?!?

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:05:58 (EDT)
MJ, below me... etc.
baseball x-fans- Fooball is just a few short weeks away. C'mon over to the dark side... etc.
have an explosive 4th y'all...etc
childhood rhyme my mother tormented her sister w/when she had poison ivy so bad her face swelled into squinty asian-like slant orbed...
chinka chinka chinaman
sitting on a fence
trying to make a dollar outa 59 cents...etc
WiF covering all bases (even though there are no more bases fans left on lurk)
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 17:03:57 (EDT)
IF CHARLES BUKOWSKI HAD WRITTEN CHILDREN’S BOOKS.
BY LITSA DREMOUSIS
- - - -
The Whore Who Snored //Why Is Grandpa Heaving? //The Years Will Fly Like Hummingbirds and One Gray Day You’ll Die //Love Turns to Crap Like a Sandwich //The Alley Cat and the Wounded Dog Share Scraps of Bird and Dung //Uncle Hank’s Sack of Empties //Wishbones Come from Chicken, Harlots Come from Hell //The Park Bench Where You Eat Your Lunch Will Be Your Bed Someday //Give Up Now

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 16:39:09 (EDT)
the world is at war with terrorists, our VP is out blowing away pheasants, and now colon is a village person??? i think i want a lobotomy (click pic)

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 16:10:18 (EDT)
hey, i feel left out!
Little Boy Blew
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 16:07:12 (EDT)
Righto, King.
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 16:03:08 (EDT)
weekend started!
KOL, heading out into the apocalypse on bike
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 16:01:42 (EDT)
PS to V!c and Boris (and WiF too, for good measure): blow me, blow me and lick the wallets.
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 15:52:46 (EDT)
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY =BS Comedy CDs for all my friends, ETCETREE, ETCETREE!
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 15:51:58 (EDT)
happy 4th lurkives...stay alive...cuz THIS is THE year!
yetinski
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 15:39:44 (EDT)
I'm swooping in for the CD pick up, hail storm or not.
yetinski
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 15:15:02 (EDT)
There's a sneaky chance.
BSPRS
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 15:01:07 (EDT)
don't say "ETCETRA" on this log
v!c
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:44:10 (EDT)
Any chance I can get a Sneak peak at the CD?
SNEAK
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:42:23 (EDT)
yeah well it ain't long but it sure gives the sides hell...
yetski
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:37:05 (EDT)
oh you care joseph. you just can't help but care. kinda like rooting for the habs. except the red sox don't SUCK.
boris
- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:31:56 (EDT)
try reading your freakin' email, VICKY. DUH. Oh and by the way, it's a little TOO easy to be the bearer of obvious gloom. Why don't you try being a little more inventive in the cursing of our own team-the one I don't care about anymore and will swear off just after tonight's game. Anyways, even the fucking YES network had more accolades and positive thengs to say about the SOX-like they gave them a hell of a game etc., etc.
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:23:10 (EDT)
8.5
master of the obvious
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 14:17:56 (EDT)
how's a yet! get a freakin' CD in this town?
yet!
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:51:59 (EDT)

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:41:25 (EDT)
Dude: season series 6-4. Sox are so stoked!
Drugsy
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:35:28 (EDT)
4½

- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:33:53 (EDT)
I hated to have to do this. Uncle Vic (the prick)

USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:30:50 (EDT)
Chong is a chink, Chong is a chink
WR
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:20:57 (EDT)
last one before the w'end....hope y'all saw that nice kawasaki-grady little story, today's globe.
boris
- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:17:40 (EDT)
cool and potentially huge life-saver, but major (major) privacy issues, wot...
boris
- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 13:03:50 (EDT)
By the way, Mr. United Nations Kofi Annan Mahatma Ghandi Pope Pius Dalai Lama Chong Lee, I for one thought you gave up on baseball LAST week.
boris
- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 12:56:39 (EDT)
Here is a good name: "No Time For Practice"
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 12:49:11 (EDT)
wHY not you just call me chink and get it over with. This is no place for hate because race or skin color.
Chong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:41:57 (EDT)
I think Marlon would make a delicious breakfast.
Nod Fod
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:39:13 (EDT)
Chong, it's called a joke. And yeah, it was tasteless and obnoxious. But if you think that the joke in any way reflects my attitudes or outlook...I don't know what to tell you.
Sneak
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:38:25 (EDT)
who wont be coming down for breakfast in the morning, by the way....
Chong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:29:00 (EDT)
or marlon brando maybe?
Chjong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:27:06 (EDT)
Yo SNEAK, racism is as bout as funny as punch in crotch. You are a racist. And no one have menu #69. So joke dumb. Am hate sneak.
Chong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:24:28 (EDT)
Once I made love to a chinawoman. In the middle of it I suggested we try '69' and she said "you want chicken broccaree with rice?" Good times.
The Sneak
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:10:47 (EDT)
howbout a nice french-canadian name like......jose?
boris
- Friday, July 02, 2004 at 11:06:34 (EDT)
This is my son GNOHC EEL. Very happy to get tax break. In my country first born called "Happy Time". Unless it girl then call "she fell down staircase, we sad buy try again soon". Second born call "illegal", or sometimes "sell on black market".
Chong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:52:07 (EDT)
How about TORT?
MJ®
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:50:38 (EDT)
KRAM it is.
Doff
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:38:44 (EDT)
Namorita Namora Namor..... Chang Ching Chung Yow Fat.
Hmmmm
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:30:19 (EDT)
No dude, KRAM or GNOHC!
Chong
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:29:04 (EDT)
If it's a boy: Calvin or Pokey. If it's a girl: Namor.
Doff
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 10:22:34 (EDT)
Okay, that's it. I'm out. I am no longer interested in baseball. Fuck it. Mr "bagged my band", if you want to make any shady trades in baseball go ahead cause I'm done. I'll trade you pujols for marty barrett if you want. Now here's another thing, I guess I'm having a kid soon and I guess I was supposed to think of some names. All I have so far is Alvin or Tucker if its a boy and Angie if it's a girl. Any ideas?
chong.
USA - Friday, July 02, 2004 at 09:40:34 (EDT)
bigger ring, bigger bowl

- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 18:46:01 (EDT)
Why, that's my name too!
Harry Balls
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 18:04:27 (EDT)
i suspect the meat has bitten off more than it can chew...
Grrr
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 17:54:59 (EDT)
"I think somebody posted this a while ago, maybe me, but ..." =so very funny
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 17:19:18 (EDT)
well 4 dayz of continual daze begins.....

....NOW
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:58:58 (EDT)
Have you read my book, Tiger's Revenge
Claude Balz
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:57:49 (EDT)
Zoologists also brought two American Bisons to the area, but the idea to breed them didn't work out. The male bison run away. I don't know if he run away from Radiation or from his bride, but he was last seen in Belorussia, heading west. He may have decided to return to America.
ha
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:51:16 (EDT)
i think somebody posted this a while ago, maybe me, but there's new stuff. gotdamn FREAKY..
In Ukrainian language ( where we don't like to say "the") Chernobyl is the name of a grass, wormwood (absinth). This word scares the holy bejesus out of people here. Maybe part of the reason for that among religious people is because the Bible mentions Wormwood in the book of the revelatons - which fortells the end of the world....
It is divinely eerie - like stepping into that Salvador Dali painting with the dripping clocks.
rADIOACTIVEHEAD
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:49:16 (EDT)
I may be trusted with dogs, because I can tell which is a 'kong' and which is a dong.
KOL
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:25:14 (EDT)
i would also like to add that is royally fVcking sucks that tigers are endangered in the wild, yet there are more tigers in the state of "texas" than the entire rest of the world.
Grrr
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 16:09:53 (EDT)
heads up:
pics of developing fetus:these were scary last night on a bar tv with no sound, but cool when you know what they are
dog toy or marital aid10 out of 14 for me. i'm guessing WR wins this one...
Blind man banned from saying ‘phlegm’:Neil Middlehurst, 49, would ask women for help crossing the road and then touch their breasts while talking about sore throats and phlegm?!?!?!
gratuitous booby shots:'nuff said
Halle Berry likes sex toys:Pleasure Chest is a great band name
nothing like a cabbage fot:Mind you, one national radio presenter recently complained that the air was so fresh that these days in pubs you could now smell a lot more of the customers' farts - something that the smoke had previously disguised.
That complaint is frequently heard but most people believe it is a small price to pay, if only because you cannot get cancer from the passive inhaling of farts.
but actively seeking fot gas is not recommended
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 15:42:36 (EDT)
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, along comes a play with a 30-minute monologue by a penis
i'm sure it's moving
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 15:15:00 (EDT)
And what a display of prowess and skill, using his day off to kill almost as many pheasant and duck in an afternoon as all those notions of progress that have been slaughtered by his inbred cronyist pro-industry energy policy since the beginning of this sentence. Gosh.

USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 15:10:37 (EDT)
Are we not all impressed? Are we not all sitting here saying, wow, that Dick Cheney guy, he of the massive alleged Halliburton corruption scandals, he is one studly dude, slaughtering a small mountain of docile, stupefied birds that had no chance of escape. What a guy.
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 14:59:03 (EDT)
Listen, I hate my job and my confused, information-witholding bosses, long commute, shit pay, and long hours, but I love the fact that I've got the Kinks blasting in my office and I'm drinking yet another iced coffee. And have a 3.5 day weekend coming to me. Whoo hoo. Doff interested in Saturday AM ride?
KOL
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 14:32:28 (EDT)
"Sunni today....."
boris
- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 14:22:07 (EDT)
hussein recounting cavity search and the dirty sanchez the guard gave him
semi-humorous caption guy
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 14:09:49 (EDT)
insert you're own little semi-humorous quip

USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 14:04:03 (EDT)
MJ w/batmobile preparing for demo fedora

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:58:30 (EDT)
see email
Haywood Jablome
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:51:31 (EDT)
evidence is brewing not unlike a witches brew...stay tuned to OTHER site...
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:49:49 (EDT)
blow me
MJ
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:49:00 (EDT)
I keel you AND you!

USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:48:44 (EDT)
One more thing before I fucking git-V!c why don't you prove what your OTHER b@nd did last weekend with some fucking posted snaps.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:48:12 (EDT)
we are so beyond morale it's funny...read: monkeys in rusting cages
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:47:41 (EDT)
Great. Good for the ole moral. Isn't it? Who'd wanna look out the window down the hall from their cubicle and see some green anyway. More asphalt please.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:45:18 (EDT)
that football field along with many other open spaces is going in the sh!t-can so the likes a' me can take home a paycheck
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:42:49 (EDT)
Hey WR, does signing the Providence Public Library petition get the cunty-panted reference gal so fired?
MJ
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:41:29 (EDT)
Please do not use the words ball and bag in the same sentence
BSTC
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:39:02 (EDT)
I'm not shoutin' or nothin' but would've been better if he caught the ball and stepped on the BAG.
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:37:44 (EDT)
Hey V!c, while I got you on the line, WTF is going on where the old football field USED to be across from that shack you call work?
BJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:35:01 (EDT)
Oh okay V!c that's better cuz for a minute I thought you were bagging on Ortiz.
BJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:30:57 (EDT)
IT WAS THE GLOVE! THAT'S WHY I SWAPPED IT OUT AFTER I BOOTED THE BALL! -v!c
hey BJ
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 13:26:07 (EDT)
..it's 20 bucks...? How come I remember it being free last year...?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:57:44 (EDT)
BJ, the first day of the rest of my life is the day after tomorrow.
v!c
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:54:18 (EDT)
giving a whole new meaning to footing the bill
WiF of toe cheese
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:54:07 (EDT)
Oh, I'll be there, don't you worry. Still trying to convince a couple of friends that it's worth the $20 ticket. They need to get out of Wakefield too
WR
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:50:18 (EDT)
oh shit, here we go again, Pedor=PEDRO
Fuck me
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:47:50 (EDT)
WR, you better save some quality time this weekend to attend the demo derby smashemup fireworks July 4th. Also, re: David Ortiz-give the guy a fucking break. He's the only offense they have, Traitor Vic. Also yes, Pedor should throw at the head. Let's mix this shit up.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:46:55 (EDT)
I LOVE PUPPIES--I think you already know that
WR
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:39:04 (EDT)
man, our solar system gotz sum cool bling blings

WiF
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:36:08 (EDT)
after tonight we got nine left with these idiots vic. BUT. we can still pray for the domini-mouth to start a brawl with a couple beanballs. don (as it were) the foil.
boris
- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:31:48 (EDT)
WR, I believe that means you're going to have a litter of puppies.
bow wow
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:30:41 (EDT)
It was the glove. Oh, and dirty? 7.5

USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:19:40 (EDT)
Wow, MJ. In my dream last night, Amy Hagan was very pregnant (not unlike my friend Woodi for whom I am hosting a baby shower Sat). I demanded that she have the baby today, July 1st because I didn't want her to have it any other day and that was the due date. Not only that, but the number of babies inside her increased dramatically during the dream from 1 to at least 4. She seemed rather uncomfortable with that. What the hell does that mean?
WR
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:18:04 (EDT)
"I am the President of a rock!"

USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:17:19 (EDT)
HEY YOUSE GUYS--you'd better sign that Providence Public Library petition you see at better (read:hipster) venues in the greater Prov area (mostly west side). I think I will venture to the defecatur tonight to lay my john handCOCK on that piece of paper. Anyone interested in cleaning my house for me? Anyone? Hello? Dammit! How is one man supposed to prepare for a baby shower, get his hair cut and colored, go out drinking, and clean the house all in one night? I'm not Super Man, ya know.
WR
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:14:15 (EDT)
Today is July 1st. I started my new life. I already worked out, I called the cops on a neighbor and I'm giving up the Sox habit.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 12:13:17 (EDT)
bigger bowl = bigger rings.
boris
- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 11:17:29 (EDT)
Why does Namor hate me so much? I was having a good day until that.
DO(ff)
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 11:00:39 (EDT)
I love legitamate theeater
Homer
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 10:57:42 (EDT)
"this is all theater, the real criminal is Bush,"

his word is enough for me. Who has the rope?
WiF
USA - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 10:15:39 (EDT)
"I was very reluctant to give him the ball....It's an old cliche, but I just work here."
the other Wakefield regular
- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 08:47:24 (EDT)
can we just be glad june is effin' over. papi=hole in glove. are you shittin' me. namor=tweaks ankle, throws like damon, sulks. plenty o' dodgers scouts in crowd. one or both = gone by 1 august. KoL? i pick namor. get beltre straight up. NOT odalis perez. NOT (omigodno) shawn green. NOT juan encarnacion instant breakfast.

- Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 07:33:53 (EDT)
Yeah, ummm...thanks(?), Vic. Does this kind of activity actually happen or are people just making gross things up? On a better note, had a great visit to Potter League on Sat--2 very cute (and not blown to bits) puppies and many cats begging me to take them home so the dogs could eat them.
WR
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 23:08:36 (EDT)
I understand why KOL has such anger. When the worst team in Canada spanks your crap team you feel like crap. Oh and MJ they have 5 banners.
DO(n)
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 23:07:26 (EDT)
thanks, vic, that was .... thorough.
boris
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 19:00:56 (EDT)

WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 18:50:33 (EDT)
Wade away yon MJ, ye shall be duly rewarded
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 18:49:57 (EDT)
the toe bone's connected to the...
hand bone?
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 18:40:43 (EDT)
I'm off to wade thru WiF's link and then to sit and fot in front of the fucking TV to the tune of another loss. Hey Dan, do I go to the Fleet center and flip off the Bruin's banner?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 18:27:28 (EDT)
COMEDY CD is REALLY done this time. Thanks to the hours and hours and hour of endless patience and knob twittlin' from D(onn) and T (Buck). And to answer Vic, NO! No EL MONO! No little abused shitzu tied up in the sun across the street from the studio to torment MJ this time. We don't know what happened to her. The dog house is still there but the long pigs look different!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 18:25:27 (EDT)
OK- this link gets my 5 fots rating (that's 5 out of 4 for you cretins) Even the blog after the story is worth a scroll.

Poker With Dick Cheney
Transcript of The Editors' regular Saturday-night poker game with Dick Cheney, 6/19/04. Start tape at 12:32 AM.
WiF a dead man's hand
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 16:54:10 (EDT)
Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
dirty v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 16:48:07 (EDT)
unrelated overrated aside- Funniest part of new BS comedy CD- Asscroft w/BS back up doing Let the Eagle Sore with rare outtake lyrics, Let His Ego Sore, by Chong cousin, Bill Chong of the Just-us department
WiF of a F 9/11 clip (repost due to being dumb footyball fan)
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 16:29:20 (EDT)
unrelated overrated aside- Funniest part of new BS comedy CD- Asscroft w/BS back up doing Let the Eagle Sore with rare Bill Chong of the Just-us department
WiF of a F 9/11 clip
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 16:26:44 (EDT)
red sox = the new spurs
boris
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 16:10:29 (EDT)
No, thank you. Funny=condiment:Astroglide! Can never remember (or never knew) what a dirty sanchez is.
WR
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 15:58:48 (EDT)
thank you

- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 15:49:57 (EDT)
i think i have wood.
boris
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 15:44:28 (EDT)
the HIPPY HIPPY SHAKE
Dotes
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 15:20:48 (EDT)
my big brain=venereal encephalitis... ie. fvked in the head
WiF of expanding cranium
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 14:50:37 (EDT)
they're a buncha habs beens
v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 14:29:50 (EDT)
From our visit to Montreal back in March...in front of the Bell/Molson center 20 min before gametime.

KOL
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 14:19:57 (EDT)
OH! almost forgot: 6.5
v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 14:17:39 (EDT)

KOL
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 14:13:29 (EDT)
by the by MJ Doff & Co., any sightings of the elusive El Mono?
v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 13:37:43 (EDT)
if MJ's und hot sexy fokker, I'm a hairless yeti
yeti
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 13:29:57 (EDT)
was just driving around listening to pawsox. kim could've been credited with two errors in first inning. they were talking about him being distracted by the presence of a speed gun. which registered him consistently in low-80s with his "fast"ball. btw, MJ = sexy fot hucker.
boris
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 13:24:19 (EDT)
I guess that means Proctor thinks he's got a big brain.
veek
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 12:27:44 (EDT)
taking it out is the new hot and sexy??
Withdrawl and I
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 12:18:16 (EDT)
and for scofflaw edification...
--A contest was held in Boston in 1923, during the Prohibition era, to find a descriptive word for “a lawless drinker of illegally made or illegally obtained liquor”. A prize of $200 was offered by Delcevare King of Quincy, a rich Prohibitionist, to find such a word in order to “stab awake the conscience” of those who drank alcohol. Since $200 was a sum not to be sneezed at, more than 25,000 entries were received from all over America and beyond. The winner was announced on 15 January 1924; as scofflaw had been sent in by two contestants, the prize was divided equally between Mr Henry Irving Dale and Miss Kate L Butler.
WiF- current king-o-quincy
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 12:16:26 (EDT)
MJ say- "football is for shiftless layabouts and scofflaws. NOT TO MENTION IT'S DUMB"

WiF look over list & ponder
shiftless- check
layabout- check
scofflaw- triple check and currently sought by five different government agencies
dumb- huh?
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 12:10:29 (EDT)
sometimes it just feels good to k!ll the bearer of bad news
v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 11:44:28 (EDT)
Hey I like Namor too but I take it out every once in a while
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 11:14:08 (EDT)
You rang?

USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 11:13:04 (EDT)
Vic, thanks
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 11:10:35 (EDT)
apparently goes for younger "men"...

USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:47:05 (EDT)
MJ goin' LOVE this one...
v!c
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:42:04 (EDT)
sorry for the mus!c post--have we all seen this already? Also, why, why, why must I always be tortured with Phil Collins' ugly mug? (& ugly muzak?)
WR
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:37:49 (EDT)
A while ago. I predicted 7 games out at the break. How bad is Derek Lowe, seriously? I'd rather see John Burkett come out of retirement. Trade Namor if this gets any uglier.
KOL
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:26:22 (EDT)
good read
Slow load
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:13:03 (EDT)
@sscroft claims Patriot Act provisions not used "Another document released by the FBI is an internal FBI memo, dated October 29, 2003, acknowledging that Section 215 of the Patriot Act can be used to obtain information about innocent people. The memo contradicts the government’s assertion, made repeatedly on the public record, that Section 215 can be used only against suspected terrorists and spies."
WR
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:10:13 (EDT)
vic is sleepy...0800 at NAC really kills
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:06:13 (EDT)
WiF, football is for shiftless layabouts and scofflaws. NOT TO MENTION IT'S DUMB.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:03:17 (EDT)
ahh fuck. Well at least Cheney got booed. Most likely because he was wearing a NY hat. Sellout. I had higher hopes for him, man.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:01:21 (EDT)
5 weeks 5 days till real sport
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 10:00:04 (EDT)
This ALMOST makes the idea of trying to stay awake through a baseball game a worthwhile task.... almost.

During the singing of "God Bless America" in the seventh inning, an image of Cheney was shown on the scoreboard. It was greeted with booing, so the Yankees quickly removed the image.
playin WiFfle ball
USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 09:57:14 (EDT)
really grasping but...they've *only* beaten Lowe this year, Wake has their number, and Dominimullet will be fine for PRE_CISE_LY 7-1/3. then will get pulled.

4½.

- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 07:13:41 (EDT)
somebody kill me kill me now. Poor Namor. Poor poor me. Poor redsox.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 21:15:04 (EDT)
Could that REALLY be my name?
Pizzaz
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 21:14:03 (EDT)
I heard that the sizz cover a Jem & the Holograms tune on the cd and Plectrum was pissed off because he's still buds with Pizzazz and Stormer from the Misfits.
The Sneak
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 19:26:26 (EDT)
My fave news item is still, "Middletown Police banged out a Fame-like rythym with nightsticks on the Benny Sizzler bulkhead"
fitty cent
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 18:56:13 (EDT)
Boris, don't you be jinxing my boys. Let's leave that up to D(off). Hey was Trot Nixon's dad's name TORT?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 18:49:25 (EDT)
A day without MJ is like a day without a hot sexy fucker on the lurk now, isn't it?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 18:48:05 (EDT)
actually vic, not bold....demibold.
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 18:27:54 (EDT)
just chicken scratch from me today
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 16:55:11 (EDT)
learn meditation from scratch
Zen Master Itchy
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 16:54:20 (EDT)
I heard Chong gives birth to frogs.
Tongue Fu
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 16:29:04 (EDT)
I just reread all the "news" posts...enough hilarity to inspire more than one chuckle...now YOU go do it!
v!c can read
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 16:01:19 (EDT)
bold...very bold
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 15:46:39 (EDT)
4½
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:43:47 (EDT)
hey dirty, GB = 5.5...what will it be on Thursday? WHAT?!
vickey
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:29:39 (EDT)
UMMM...what?
WR
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:27:42 (EDT)
hello Yeti. Retouches on comedy tonight.
D(off)
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:27:07 (EDT)
I take it everybody is at Packy Gleeson's getting supplied up for Namor in the City.
D(on)
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:25:45 (EDT)
anyone ALIVE on this lurk?
a dirty yeti
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 14:21:36 (EDT)
9/11ths = 0.8181818
Math Fella
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 12:56:03 (EDT)
0800 SHARP
veti
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 12:11:53 (EDT)
I will be spectating with lurkers and others, as the day's activities involve my usual nefarious holiday pursuits like BBQing, schvimming, shooting potatoes great distances, imbibing etc. Email me to arrange big meet-up.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:53:07 (EDT)
I will be spectating with lurkers and others, as the day's activities involve my usual nefarious holiday pursuits like BBQing, schvimming, shooting potatoes great distances, imbibing etc. Email me to arrange big meet-up.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:52:59 (EDT)
Post 9/11? It's only 6/29. Is that part of comedy?
CAPPY
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:22:10 (EDT)
sprem got smushed
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 11:08:11 (EDT)
Is sansabelt a font?
Chong
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:36:59 (EDT)
Gabe Krapler. Kevin Useless. Not a Greek between them.
DLR
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:31:38 (EDT)
Hey where's D(on) D(auphin)?
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:30:18 (EDT)
Is new comedy cd have knock knock joke?
Baron Von Rottenhaven
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:17:27 (EDT)
Boris, I'd like to pump you full of leading
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:06:09 (EDT)
How can that joke possibly be justified? BTW, think there is something wrong with my eyes?
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:02:35 (EDT)
oh fuck no, here we go with the typeface humor
MJ
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 10:00:02 (EDT)
Thou shalt not take mine name in vain!
Ben Guiat
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:57:44 (EDT)
Hey KOL. I'm looking for ya to be speeding up and down my street but I don't see ya. Did you really give up your spot?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:52:05 (EDT)
Listen, they built a spud gun with fucking gun powder. Not smart. Stick with hairspray or glade. Schedule 40 PVC tubing is rated up to 240 psi...pretty sure gunpowder at ignition would tear the tubing to shreds. Must've been similar to a fragmentation grenade. What a horrible and sad way to go. On the other hand, I think sunday is a great day for me to break out the 6 foot spud cannon...
KOL
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:49:19 (EDT)
PS- you guys are mean.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:43:26 (EDT)
Forget about everything else you fucking lurkers, Tonight. In the Bronx.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 09:42:53 (EDT)
more Big Brother in massholio. schedule your appointment for the mandatory embedded neck chip now. beat the rush.
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 08:39:30 (EDT)
mean joe spremwood v lindsay davenport today in quarters...
boris
- Tuesday, June 29, 2004 at 08:32:31 (EDT)
OK, one more. KOL, you didn't loan that potato gun to anyone in OHIO, did you?
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 21:52:22 (EDT)
How about this for the demolition derby?

WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 21:49:50 (EDT)
That's right you library users--fear the bad credit rating when you get a collection notice from Unique. In service in many of our lovely RI public libraries today!
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 21:47:01 (EDT)
just had a swell experience at a chain rekkid store on rte 2 "the original sprawl" Borewick. Quickie trip in to pick up new Wilco and had to spend some time wanderin' (never did no wanderin' after all) 'cause Mark E. Smith and the band were declaiming over the loudspeakers! Imagine my suhprise--when was the last time YOU heard the Fall in a pubic place?
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 21:41:17 (EDT)
Woman, 23, busted for "encounters" with boy, 14
Lafave told the boy that she was "turned on by the fact that having sexual relations with him was not allowed."
pee-wee is her-man
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 19:57:36 (EDT)
BERLIN (Reuters) - A 13-year-old German boy took a joyride in his father's 40-tonne truck, driving it for 50 miles before police stopped him on the motorway. The boy knocked over a road sign and a traffic light in the city of Kassel, causing 10,000 euros damage. Police said apart from that he drove well -- possibly using the experience gained when he took a fire engine for a spin last month.
keep on truckin'
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 19:53:26 (EDT)
I figgered Sprawl Italic
WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 19:46:50 (EDT)
Beng@y-@ss Bold?

- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 19:35:31 (EDT)
what font is your house, MJ?
picker of nits
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 18:39:53 (EDT)
Competition Imports 114 West Main. Middleblob.
Kari Payments
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 17:38:45 (EDT)
yes MJ it IS apparent that that OTEP vixen spent all her time getting me worked up to a froth and none of her efforts went into said pampers rock. But with me on her mind it's no wonder.
WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 17:15:31 (EDT)
No, the KOL learned his lesson about driving like an asshole on the street many moons ago. About as interesting to me these days as a 6 string MV Pedulla bass.
KOL
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 17:13:38 (EDT)
KOL, what do you get to do with the BMW? Drive it really fast up and down my street in font of my house?
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 17:04:26 (EDT)
so THAT'S how the CD got finished so quick
vic
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:59:47 (EDT)
I quit
T Buck
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:58:15 (EDT)

Oohhh the thought of a completed BS Comedy CD makes me tingle all over.
The Sneak
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:49:53 (EDT)
don't be shy!
Sum Yung Moon
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:45:50 (EDT)
In OTHER band news: Friday - jam 4 songs; Saturday - jam 4 songs.
yeti
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:39:52 (EDT)
this is my day. and this is my ox.

P. Bunyan
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:33:45 (EDT)
They played "MISSING HIKER JAM" for 4 hours?
Guesser
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:29:37 (EDT)
Vic, why don't you tell the lurkers what the OTHER band did this weekend?
Mean Joe Sprem
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:27:52 (EDT)
i lost the over/under. i bet december.
boris
- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:22:55 (EDT)
pencil
Karolina Sprem
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:06:29 (EDT)
ok check it out...in passing...JUST in passing...slight semblance to the picture below...Scotch Shuttlecock, underwater, impersonating a Fruit of the Loom guy...
vic
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:04:35 (EDT)
I can't. But say the name of the girl who beat Serena Williams without using the word
MJ
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 16:00:25 (EDT)
key word: 'hilarity'
vic
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:59:44 (EDT)
define "pamphlet rock" without using the word 'penis'
a dirty yeti
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:58:26 (EDT)
I feel sorry for these lurkers: Boris, for actually checking the news link, KOL for enduring the blob when he didn't have to and Vic for saving a load on his opening slot.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:56:20 (EDT)
Listen WiF, not to deflate your extree large boner or anything but I saw the vid for that otep band and it smacked of pamphlet rock.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:53:34 (EDT)
follow me!

USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:45:52 (EDT)
follow me!

USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:44:29 (EDT)
news update! pissah!
boris
- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:39:39 (EDT)
did someone say 'water sports'?
you can call me Sweet Pee
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:35:28 (EDT)
Why is it I'm so sure that this women's demonic growl is merely a come hither for yours truly? Check the vid for Warhead, if you don't mind seeing a dangerously demonic women beg for some stink from the big WiF
WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:26:57 (EDT)
did somebody say hamster style?
click here. i dare you.
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:23:10 (EDT)
twofer chimpslam

WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 15:20:21 (EDT)
Take off, eh? We're busy trying to hold a nationwide erection today.
Bob
- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 14:55:21 (EDT)
move it from berlin to montreal and have the butchery narrowly averted at the last minute when the villain realizes he's wielding a spork and maybe. just maybe.
boris
- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 14:48:57 (EDT)
babystabber

USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 13:54:10 (EDT)
scenes from comedy cd release?
An opera featuring rape, torture and masturbation, a nude bass singing an aria in the shower and a cross-dressing hero who rounds off the night by slaughtering a troupe of semi-naked prostitutes has caused a scandal in Berlin.
WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 13:28:47 (EDT)
agreed on moron of the oxy style, but it's a garbage course anywho, "religions of the world". PC has 4 Theo and 4 Phil classes required. I'm just bumping off the god shiz as painlessly as possible. Now as to my logic course..... I put the invalid (as in cripple) in the invalid argument, and the silly jism in syllogism.
WiF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:37:38 (EDT)
Being the loose-lipped gossip maven I am, I heard a rumor that 2 lurkers went to Middleblob BMW on saturday because one of them is an idiot and was SURE it was saturday. This same idiot is registered for a 10 am test drive tommorrow in 330ci but won't be able to make up...free test drive for someone...
The Sneak
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:23:52 (EDT)
excellent idea, WR -vic's in

USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:22:44 (EDT)
dirty, GB=steady at five and one-half
yeti
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:20:56 (EDT)
enter the van in the demo derby, Vixen
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:20:09 (EDT)
when the wheel falls off the van at highways speeds, you do NOT save a lot on your insurance; also, turns out no one opened for the Darkness on Saturday after all
vic
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:14:48 (EDT)
Can we "drag" the QOC outta the West Bay to attend?
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:04:58 (EDT)
Clear your sched-it's on July 4th this year...Demo Derby with Fireworks - Figure 8 - Enduro -Round 2 Qualifying for the Spectator Drag Nationals
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:03:10 (EDT)
MANDATORY LURK SUMMER READING. Totally Sweet! And yes the 4th it is, remember I have BEAST duty on the 3rd!
KOL
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 12:02:22 (EDT)
KOL. Will get on that Blob report.
doFF
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:53:51 (EDT)
donde esta el demolition derby? have a couple others innerested--is it on the 4th?
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:51:31 (EDT)
Definitely. Very psyched. Vroooooom. And I have a strange favor to request. In the Blob, on 138, there is an IHOP. Across the street from said den of pancake iniquity, there is a small used car dealership. I need the name of the place.
KOL
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:38:51 (EDT)
"online course" = "oxy moron" =FUNNY
Comedy Expert
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:24:29 (EDT)
And one mo thing, KOL...
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:15:15 (EDT)
being a dickhead never pays...
boris
- Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:15:04 (EDT)
RENTED CESSNA > CESSNA 172
Dale
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:14:00 (EDT)
Holy crap, that cd is finally done? Fuck, you know MJ don't have room down basement for all the boxes. Fuck. HEY, T BUCK can have my baby ANYTIME.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:13:56 (EDT)
BS COMEDY IS DONE_STOP_ FINAL MIX BURNED DOWN BASEMENT AT 3am_STOP_T BUCK WINS YEOMAN EFFORT AWARD_STOP_AGAIN_STOP_CD RELEASE PARTY PLANNED FOR COMEDY CONNECTION_STOP_WARREN AVE_STOP_DETAILS TO FOLLOW_STOP
Benny Sizzler Entertainment Director
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 11:10:18 (EDT)
"Rented Cessna" is now called "Cessna 172" due to a conflict with a band with same name and the fact that words/numbers bands are hot.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 10:55:23 (EDT)
RENTED CESSNA are: Dale Leanwood, Bill Clott, Jerry Miniham, and Spike "Hamster Style" Lemming.
Kurt Loder
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 10:09:51 (EDT)
Hey, I'm the lead singer for RENTED CESSNA and we did not suck. YOu suck.
Dale Leanwood
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 10:04:25 (EDT)
what is that worm doing in the rosemary?
WR
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 09:24:00 (EDT)
Rented Cessna played this weekend. They sucked.
Chong.
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 09:09:14 (EDT)
IF I RAN THE SHOW THIS IS WHAT THE BS ALBUM COVER ART WOULD BE:
The SNEAK
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 08:36:04 (EDT)
IF I RAN THE SHOW THIS IS WHAT THE BS ALBUM COVER ART WOULD BE:
The SNEAK
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 08:36:00 (EDT)
IF I RAN THE SHOW THIS IS WHAT THE BS ALBUM COVER ART WOULD BE:
The SNEAK
USA - Monday, June 28, 2004 at 08:35:45 (EDT)
"online course" = "oxy moron"
Sister Mary Elephant
- Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 20:38:23 (EDT)
one assignment and one test to do bymidnight in my online course and the hellish system oddly named angel won't let me in my fvking account. someone please shoot this longpig in the head and make it a clean shot
WiF
USA - Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 20:23:15 (EDT)
"The court was not told if the gun’s barrel had been shortened."
balls below his knees?
USA - Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 19:19:22 (EDT)
Did the eFen 9/11 this very day and it frikkin ROCKED! I was tormenting the cons on the yahoo borads with a prediction of #1 and $20 mil boxoffice. I was offering to vote for bush if I was wrong. Guess what, my vote is safe.
fortune telling WiF
USA - Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 19:17:08 (EDT)
this is for anyone who thinks they're having a bad day..
Drunk in shotgun balls-up
USA - Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 14:17:59 (EDT)
Ole MJ schooled the Vic crowd a concert or three.
MJ's Publicist
USA - Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 12:07:12 (EDT)
Dear Vic,
Was told no one opened for The Darkness including The Wildhearts.

- Sunday, June 27, 2004 at 10:42:30 (EDT)
two words: bombay gin. beekay kim and mendoza and the AL batting champ soon. very very soon. not conceding a thing, for we have what we need. we have product. i expect vic's games-back updates to continue through end of september. bennysizzla rules. that is all.
boris
- Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 22:44:50 (EDT)
One word: Vodka Coozie
Cosmo®
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 22:33:19 (EDT)
Police say he had set himself up in an east-end park to load his weapons and then planned to drive around shooting./////// He told police that a dog then approached and started playing with him. /////// Police say the encounter melted the man's heart, and he then went in search of police to give himself up.
a, um, heartwarming story?
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 20:01:46 (EDT)
Pianist Ben Folds has pushed back the release date of his upcoming solo album to concentrate on Has Been, a collection by Star Trek star and sometime musician William Shatner (Captain Kirk). //////// StarTrek.com has reported that Has Been, currently scheduled for release in September on the Shout! Factory label, was produced and written mostly by Folds and includes cameos by singers Henry Rollins, Aimee Mann and Joe Jackson. /////////// "It is a great record and it is really worth going out and doing some shows in major cities," Folds told Billboard.com, though he added that Shatner was "not a musician at all" and did not sing or rap on the album. "But he is still part of the music. I've never heard a record quite like it."
i'll bet
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 19:32:19 (EDT)
Is this band any good?
Greg
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 16:24:35 (EDT)
KOL n WR were in the 'Blob this AM...did you sense a disturbance in the force?
KOL
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 14:53:31 (EDT)
fuckin' A fuckin' BENNY PRODUCT!
boris
- Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 12:23:19 (EDT)
Yah, Boris, the mighty T Buck and Doff are working their magic as we speak- with able assisitance from the Plectrum.
MJ®
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 12:13:55 (EDT)
West Bay invaded East Bay last eve and MJ wasn't even around to run the cretin's off his turf? Did you leave your empty Ocean Mist coozies all over washington Square, or what?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 12:00:00 (EDT)
from Svengali to golly, Sven....
boris
N17 - Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 10:51:59 (EDT)
so...Benny CD is...close? EXCREMENT!
boris
- Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 08:54:05 (EDT)
Celsius 9/11 playing at Jane Pickens! All right Aquidneck Islanders, be prepared for the west bay invasion.
WR
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 18:03:18 (EDT)
All that's left now is adding the laugh track.
Comedy CD
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 17:52:24 (EDT)
damn good one, WR! ok lurk...see you on the flip
v!c
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 17:48:15 (EDT)

WR
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 17:02:25 (EDT)
Mr Jesse Malin played The Call on tuesday, and also referred to Dennis Kelly as Uncle Dennis. Good times.
KOL
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:35:05 (EDT)
Did Rush rock way back when? I do remember some band that sounded like The Chipmunks in heat...
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:33:48 (EDT)
we'll tame that poodle another time...just like we'll meet at NAC at 1000 sharp
v!c's doodle
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:28:12 (EDT)
Sweet sweet sweet merciful death, fill me with your engorged member. WiF, ummm...hello? RUSH is and always has been the fucking best ever. And to the KOL, where'd ypu see Jesse Malin play? Ole MJ did hard time on the road with him as the likes of DGen and they were fucking funny bastards.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:19:00 (EDT)
First of all, games back: 5.5; secondly, Venus Williams lost at Wimbledon yesterday to one Karolina Sprem.
yeti
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:18:35 (EDT)
THRUST-LIFT=SWEET FIREY ARMS OF DEATH
v!c's 2 cent
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:10:54 (EDT)
Is it just me, or does Rush's new shiz rock?

WiF of things to come
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:07:49 (EDT)
Puppies don't vote. Kill em all. Pet prostates for all my friends!
Man Janesfield
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 16:07:04 (EDT)
Guys, check out my new side band. It's called Rented Cessna and our first single is called Thrust + Lift = Me and You.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:52:54 (EDT)
Arnold will submit to the power that is ANGUS!

WR
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:46:30 (EDT)
WiF, check this shit out. Fucking funny. Chong's b@nd.
Jon Brennan = cowpoke dude form season one of MTV's Real World
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:44:29 (EDT)
no prob snizz, I get confused with Jon Brennan all the time.

...I think it's the smell
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:37:16 (EDT)
So where can we get Arnie one of those orange jumpsuits? and we'll need a couple of them fancy-azz bandanas, and a Ronco Arnie-Peeler.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:35:10 (EDT)
Okay, that was funny for minute, wasn't it? ANYWAY, yes I DID read about fucking Arnold. Sure, repeal the car tax but gas the animals. WTF. I'd like to go Animal Precinct on his Nazi ass.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:32:52 (EDT)
Sorry WiF. I thought I read that on the Jon Brennan homepage.
The Honoraball Judge Snizz
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:32:12 (EDT)
I'm an egg-hatched disease
WiF my yolk scrambled
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:31:56 (EDT)
Oh WiF, sorry. Did you post something? As a rule I usually skip right over your logs.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:30:55 (EDT)
you're all a buncha blood-borne diseases
Doc Hopper
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:29:56 (EDT)
MJ you gotta check the Arnie story a few posts back. He just stepped on the third rail of politics, pet lovers.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:24:33 (EDT)
Yo snizz, I posted that ball shaving shiz 24 back.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:23:16 (EDT)
HOLY FUCKING CROSS SECTION OF A PENIS AND SOMEBODY ELSE LOOKING IN A PENIS AND PAUL MCCARTNEY HOLDING THREE BORDER COLLIE PUPS. WHAT IN HE SAM FUCK IS GOIN' ON ROUND HERE SINCE LAST MORNING?
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:22:01 (EDT)
Court is in session
Judge Shaved Snizz
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:09:16 (EDT)
Vic is jealous that FIDS get the Jon Brennan gig, and not the Other Band?
Kurt Loader
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 15:00:25 (EDT)
More on Arnie shiz
Schwarzenegger also would eliminate a requirement that people convicted of animal cruelty be prohibited from owning a pet for three years and be forced to pay for medical care for the animals they have mistreated.

Man did he ever just step on the puppy landmine. I smell an MJ fatwa on the gropinator coming REAL soon.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 14:53:07 (EDT)
dickless cheney is the f-bomb
senator leahy
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 14:27:01 (EDT)
CURSES!

USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 14:13:15 (EDT)
dude can't afford no car, man
v!c
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 14:06:46 (EDT)
The Terminator.
vic
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 14:04:36 (EDT)
dirty, ARE YOU SURE?!
veek
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 13:29:51 (EDT)
Lurk Confessional
doFF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:40:44 (EDT)
d(OFF), always the last to know
yeti
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:16:45 (EDT)
isn't FIDS a joke band?
v!c
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:15:59 (EDT)
Lurk Confessional.
Doff
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:14:53 (EDT)
Catheterized ONLY after WWF Snizz Shavedown.
dOFF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:13:23 (EDT)
I've got a gig with some group named the FIDS and I'm not sure I should do it. What can anybody tell me about this group?
Jon BRENNAN
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 12:05:50 (EDT)
Border collies are stalking me. I saw one in a truck this morning at the shell station on wickenden st. I played with 2 other border collies last night after re'hearse'al, and will see 2 MORE tonight. And, I'm reading a book about them.
KOL
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 11:54:41 (EDT)
fuck Cheney; hey dOFF, ever been catheterized?
vic
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 11:25:15 (EDT)
Fucking JON BRENNAN!
ALF <http://www.thefids.com/>
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 11:21:48 (EDT)
Now I have a problem with the border collie puppies--who allowed Sir Paul to touch those dogs?
WR
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 11:01:20 (EDT)
cheney unloads the f-bomb
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 10:19:52 (EDT)
gotta love them puppies
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 10:03:04 (EDT)
Hey boris, I thought this one would raise your ire in the expected way
WiF of mounted zion
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 09:58:12 (EDT)
If I see one puppy penis I'm outta here!
Randy Kofax
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 09:57:39 (EDT)
Bring on the angelic puppies, I say

WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 09:55:40 (EDT)
apologies if my judge/penis pump story inspired those penile pics
WiF
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 09:53:16 (EDT)
enny buddy wanting a gmail account (google people; 1000MB email space) lemme know. have a great weekend lurkites. avoid weiner invasion techniques of every ilk.
boris
- Friday, June 25, 2004 at 09:31:29 (EDT)
new product for Joe in case his breaks. pretty sure chong submitted that first customer product review.
boris
- Friday, June 25, 2004 at 07:15:48 (EDT)
More happy puppies for lurk.

CHONG LEE
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 06:27:11 (EDT)
So where is chef? To busy hanging out at that bowl in cattleboro? Iron chef cattleboro is numba one traitor!
Chong
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 06:24:38 (EDT)
One of those puppies only has three legs.
King Chong
USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 at 02:58:09 (EDT)
Puppies are tops! Paul with puppies=shattered catheter
Drugsy
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 22:06:02 (EDT)
How about this to wash away those penis blues?

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 21:57:36 (EDT)

WR
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 21:39:32 (EDT)
am wishing did not see those
WR
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 21:35:39 (EDT)
Thanks alot. somebidy just signed on drunh and has to look at fucking whatever the hell that shitbis . I am seriously pisweed at this place and will not return foe at least aday. piss off fuckers.
chomg
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 21:04:08 (EDT)
Is that really your urethra Franklin?
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:58:44 (EDT)
Chong giving birth to Chong Jr! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:17:54 (EDT)
oooooh that's nasty. One more coming up.
dd
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:16:59 (EDT)
See!

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:13:44 (EDT)
Oh, and that fella below seems to have a problem with his cavernous urethra.
doFF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:11:11 (EDT)
I'd LOVE to see Indians add to the moral decay of the white piece of shit long pig.
dOFF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 18:09:02 (EDT)
good sweet mother lovin' day said a yeti
a yeti
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 17:37:06 (EDT)
methinks though dost protest too much.
WiF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:58:41 (EDT)
...and the hung jury/hung judge (past tense of hanging judge?) are endless. I can see the judge wielding the sword of justice....
WiF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:44:06 (EDT)
why is it that penis pumps can make me laugh even when some guy has a life sentence hanging in the balance.
WiF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:40:54 (EDT)
Judge + penis pump = ????
Whatever happened to "jurisprudence"

which line sends more milk through your nose
sample a)"On one occasion, Ms. (Lisa) Foster (Thompson's court reporter for 15 years), saw Judge Thompson holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench,"
sample b)they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis pump during trials and saw the judge slumped in his chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device.
WiF
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:37:22 (EDT)
I'm not so much mad as disappointed.
v!c's mom
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:35:03 (EDT)
allow me to lead the papi smear campaign. red sox suck. stop fucking hugging people.
boris <leaping_off@bandwagon.com>
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:29:43 (EDT)
alas, to no avail
v!c
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 16:14:29 (EDT)
PAPI RULES.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:47:04 (EDT)
i am proud to be swedish

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:21:04 (EDT)
"I can't believe Elections Canada allows this kind of stuff. I'm not uptight but I can see how some people would consider this to be pornographic," one Senate employee said.
"I'm shocked, and a little aroused."
vote domi-cratic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:16:44 (EDT)
i pity the fool try to mess with my c*ck ring!

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:14:34 (EDT)
Ortiz just tied that mother UP!
vic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:09:00 (EDT)
That German baby is CUT! Fuck Timmy, let's cut HIS head off! Weighing in on the casino debate- God forbid we let the natives who were here before us white fuckers get a little action. I say they build it on the site of the defunct RI Mall utilizin acres of fucking parking.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 15:04:38 (EDT)
read: capoeira does NOT equal the new "van halen"
viiic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 14:14:59 (EDT)
well dirty, also in today's Providence Urinal, this compelling factoid: apparently, samba (dance) meets self-defense (karate) in the new rage CAPOEIRA
yeti
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 14:13:35 (EDT)
anybody ever hear of sled hockey?
todd (bertuzzi)
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 13:59:17 (EDT)
dearest lurkers, today's urinal op/ed page has probably the best-written anti-casino article i've ever read. just a list of facts. eye-opener.
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 13:54:00 (EDT)
check this Aryan sh!t out...uncle vic

USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 13:11:28 (EDT)
"Unless we do something to strengthen the Clean Air Act -- which won't include the President's Clear Skies Plan -- not only will we see ozone get worse, but (so will) the acidification of streams and soils and the cascade of ecological effects," said Harvard Ayers, chairman of Appalachian Voices, an environmental organization for Appalachian communities.
worst "president" ever
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 13:08:53 (EDT)
what jello biafra's up to lately
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 12:43:03 (EDT)
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levitra prescription <bushmills2199@mail.com>
levitra prescription, levitra prescription levitra prescription - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 12:41:28 (EDT)
"I don't think I'll ever come back again" vic said
vic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 12:01:11 (EDT)
chong IS sore because his ass IS getting kicked by someone TWIB. chong jr will put up a better fight when he IS old enough to play better than chong sr. a.k.a. next season.
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:59:16 (EDT)
Hi Ricky Chang here. I am chong lee lawywer. My client requests that people stop steal his jokes especially the use of the word "am" is unlawfull in example "chong am kill boris". Thanks you.
Ricky Chang
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:51:32 (EDT)
I think Little Timmy has a rival! Oh, those crazy krauts!
WR
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:48:24 (EDT)
"I don't think I will ever come back again," Bobo said.
veek
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:47:41 (EDT)
dirty, they ought'a have a local band open for the Darkness is what they ought'a do...as for the lawn slugs, just pour salt on 'em
vic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:38:36 (EDT)
hear's a heartwarming little story with a happy ending
yeti
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:37:04 (EDT)
i see no reason why the darkness shouldn't be taken down a peg or three by an assemblage of far-hungrier locals tho'. one last note on banned topic of mus!c: lawnful-o-losers finally gets a semi-good lineup and the yawns are the only sound. concert industry seems to be am hosed. afraid of terrorists?
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 11:07:23 (EDT)
dirty, I keed you I keed! WiF you may be in luck, see Linc.
vic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:46:52 (EDT)
dunno vic, sorry. maybe the dunk's box orifice could tell ya...? the dunk's site am does not.
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:41:06 (EDT)
dirty, surety was about that opening act
vic
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:30:29 (EDT)
Gettin' All Tailhooky with the Den Mothers = best album title EVah.
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:20:53 (EDT)
THe KId? WE REmember THat DUde. WE HAd TO LEt HIm GO Because HE KEpt GEttin ALl TAIlhooky WIth THe DEn MOthers.
CAPPY
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:13:14 (EDT)
I miss the Kid®
MJ®
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:04:14 (EDT)
Oh well, sometimes they slip one past the goalie. We'll get em next time. We promise.
CAPPY
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 10:00:19 (EDT)
OK but first, how did you miss that boatful of smugglers off miami beach? you on georgie's payroll too?
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 09:39:03 (EDT)
With our new and very important role in homeland security we are seeking to take controll of this subversive website. We will shut you down!
CAPPY
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 09:35:30 (EDT)
vic, am not sure what to be unsure about. sox tickets? the bucket? d'ongelo jiminez and his lozenge?
boris
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 09:32:00 (EDT)
Yeah! It be like stand by me except intead of find body we find rotten flower. Or maybe that smell just Don Ass.
King Chong
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 09:26:32 (EDT)
Anyone up for a roadtrip to smell a corpse?
WR
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 09:19:32 (EDT)
Why you am awake? This is my "alone" time. Go to bed.
King Chong
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 03:54:26 (EDT)
Everyone in Africa, he said, knew that US authorities would never seriously investigate allegations that Halliburton had been involved in a massive bribery scheme in Nigeria. After all, the company was headed from 1995 to 2000 by Dick Cheney, US vice-president./////////// According to people present, Peter Clark, the US Department of Justice official who handles such cases, boomed in reply: "If you think for a moment that we would shy away from a case for political reasons, you would be sorely mistaken."
halliburtonz hurtin'
USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 03:21:03 (EDT)
Note to VICK: What is Martha's phone number? He had the nerve to call my home and now I need to call him back.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 19:31:09 (EDT)
Listen, WiF, I'd love to go to the matinee with ya. Really I would. But what time, man? The SIZZ is mixing it's hot new comedy cd both staurday and sunday of THIS weekend.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 19:29:31 (EDT)
?
unsure lurker
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 18:51:37 (EDT)
are you SURE, dirty? are you really SURE?
yeti
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 18:40:59 (EDT)
but how do you explain the guy named Scooter?
condiment rice
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 17:58:34 (EDT)
"YOU GOTTA FIGURE WITH A COLON DICK AND BUSH RUNNING THINGS "SOMEBODY'S BOUND TO GET F***** "
yeti
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 17:29:26 (EDT)
So MJ, we gonna meat in the meat so you can defend your boyz? Saturday or Sunday for Temp 9/11 matinee? Have you seen the ad on TV yet? does little timmy really have a secret birthmark?
WiF in question mode
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 17:09:43 (EDT)
what the FATWA is going on in here?
yeti
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 17:07:27 (EDT)
we got two new molecules in the cosmic nursery.
Which prompted this comment on the message board... "We can find 2 molecules 26,0000 light years away, but we can't find a 7-ft-tall Saudi on dialysis in Afghanistan."
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 17:05:28 (EDT)
Not MY boys, they ain't.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 16:34:21 (EDT)
What in the SAM FUCK's goin' on around this gin joint anyways? Jesus, you'd think them Al Quada guys would WORSHIP the ripped-ness that is the 9yr old body builder. Seriously, what can they get in return? A half drank case of GNC's MetaboCut for nutless tweens?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 16:29:28 (EDT)
Has MJ heard about India giving her air boyz a spanking in the 7/11 slurpee tourney.
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 16:22:17 (EDT)
I guess timmy is safe for the forseeable decade ...at least
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 16:19:46 (EDT)
IF BENNY PLAYS LIVE. LITTLE TIMMY WILL DIE!!!!!!!!
LTLF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 15:38:15 (EDT)
Wif is to 7 of 9 as Homer is to donuts
the analogy guy
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 15:14:11 (EDT)
As if hot borg sex wasn't enough...
her husband took her to "explicit sex clubs" in New York, New Orleans and Paris under the pretense of "romantic getaways." One of the spots they visited in New York was a "bizarre club with cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling," according to her court filing.

WiFistance is futile
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:22:03 (EDT)
Some are tiny, dark and hairy. Others are tiny, green and white. All are voracious. And they've been chomping away by the millions from Cape Cod to the Berkshires.
WiF something fer real leg men
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:17:34 (EDT)
A US motorcyclist has made the 9,011 kilometre trek from the northern-most road in Alaska to the southern-most tip of Florida in 100 hours, setting a transcontinental record certified by the "Iron Butt Association" of bike enthusiasts.
Buns of Steel
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:12:43 (EDT)
i have you all by the NADS!!
that's MR. Dick to you
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:10:52 (EDT)
that'll do, donkey...that'll do
vic
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:09:30 (EDT)
no, really, its a ZONKEY!!!

USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 14:07:18 (EDT)
the bucket is going....going....

- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 13:41:01 (EDT)
CANTON - A Peoria man was arrested early Monday for allegedly stealing a Lester's Tasty Donuts van and leading police on a slow-speed chase that began in East Peoria and ended in Canton.
The unmarked company van with license plates "Lester 8" contained 130 dozen doughnuts when it was stolen, Streid said. When the driver came out, the van was gone, said Lester's owner, Tim Streid.
anybody know what lester's donuts TASTE LIKE? chong?
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 13:40:35 (EDT)
Chong out of control at 'pract!ice'

The Sneak
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 13:30:41 (EDT)
isn't it "take your crippled dog for a drag"
sum heartless lurker
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 12:42:30 (EDT)
almost immediately after SOMEONE hit a grand slam, natasha says "i suppose i shouldn't tell you we could've gone tonite." two. grandstand. free.
boris
- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 12:37:44 (EDT)
Hey you, human, keep talkin' smack about my litter-mate and I'll bite you right where a fatwa would become unnecessary.
Edit'
- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 12:13:07 (EDT)
Listen. I have to "take my crippled dog for a stroll"
dOFF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 12:08:32 (EDT)
I wanna see little timmy do the i'm-too-ripped-for-a-young-child-to-die rant
Albert Jazeera
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:55:39 (EDT)
torture memo edumacation central
WiF (Wreading is FUNda-mental)
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:53:22 (EDT)
that little timmy sh!t is some "whack" sh!t...
vic
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:51:39 (EDT)

Don's arch enemy on the diamond. Headhunter Hildy!

King Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:39:05 (EDT)
Since when has benny sizzler been about mean spirited name calling?
King Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:27:33 (EDT)
That was down right mean.
King Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:26:26 (EDT)
I guess that explains the amorphic mellon.
Snizz
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:13:01 (EDT)
Hey in Babe Ruth HBP was MY stat. Through not swinging at anything I walked and got hit enough to be leadoff hitter even though I had like 10 hits all season.
King Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 11:02:05 (EDT)
I think Don needs a gag.
Drugsy
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:51:51 (EDT)
Oh, and Vic has some really great news.
dOFF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:50:34 (EDT)
don no longer needs a lozenge.
boris
- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:48:50 (EDT)
Where as I used to pretend I was Tony C. I'd lean into any pitch that came near me. And I didn't do it for the team. I did it for the respect. Just like Guy Cabilaro.
dOFF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:46:16 (EDT)
I'm talking about Pappy Chong. Pappy never made it off the pine. Pappy never made it to the library. Pappy didn't even have a game boy. Pappy used to hang around Rumford Aquarium and try to steal gold fish when the cashier was cleaning the dog cages.
dON dOFF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:42:42 (EDT)
and cranuium=cranium (the missing 1/8 was obvious crucial)
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:41:57 (EDT)
crainial=cranial, if that's even a wurd
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:40:17 (EDT)
I played fer the Rumford LL Benchwarmers... well sorta. They made me sit behind Nyman Cups during the game, ...and I was the pitchers mound during practice, ...well except when they needed a backstop ...but other than that it was a positive lesson in sportsmanship.
And I was the proud, if somewhat tired, holder of the biggest cranuium in the league ON THE FIRST DAY I PLAYED Little League, (8 7/8 hat size, I crap you negative). I always assumed it was carrying the extra crainial burden that spurred the growth of my size 13 booties.
WiF at bat
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:38:29 (EDT)
POking = Porking
King Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:35:13 (EDT)
Umm what about "Layla" in Goodfellas. Or "Time for a poking" from Snatch to the Future?
Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:34:37 (EDT)
AFI top 100 tunes, no Beatles, no Prince, no "Live and Let Die"... WtF?
... and akuna matata MADE the list?
WiF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:28:31 (EDT)
My kid wont need a good pitch. He'll already live in rumford. You think YOU would have tried harder though.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:26:23 (EDT)
One word for you Chong: Rumford Little League bench warmer.
dON dOFF
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:24:15 (EDT)
I bet if Don had a better curve he could get his ass out of middleblob.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 10:07:29 (EDT)
i want a federal investigation into the arrival of contreras' family (wife and kids age 8, 3). in other words, how many new coast guard ships did steinbrenner tell the CG he would buy for them if they ignored this one little powerboat arriving on a beach in miami. i mean what the eff. this stinks so bad it's practically a bush stunt.
boris
- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 09:44:26 (EDT)
thing is, what the hell could they possibly be demanding?
boris
- Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 07:41:37 (EDT)
Listen, its fucking quarter to one and I just had to say that Jesse Malin pretending he's Ryan Adams still fucking rocks. Dgeneration or not. I kept yelling 'PLAY 'HEART ATTACK' SONGS'. It was great.
KOL
USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 00:48:38 (EDT)
Little Timmy, too shall pay!
I'sheet M'phants
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 23:24:02 (EDT)
Ohh Nooo! Not TIMMY!
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 23:22:20 (EDT)
lozenge = the new cocoa
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 18:07:04 (EDT)
Twinkhenge is right up there with a Homeric Ding Dong.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 18:06:16 (EDT)
good grief and good day
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 17:59:43 (EDT)
Happy summer solstice cockeaters!

USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 17:28:15 (EDT)
insert guy pretty much summed it up. so..... I guess that's it then?
Vanilla Snizz
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 17:25:26 (EDT)
insert amusing body function comment here
the insert generic comment guy
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 16:54:11 (EDT)
if that required lozenge is due to the same affliction I was stricken with last week you're in for a bumpy ride.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 16:40:59 (EDT)
don DOES require a lozenge.
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 16:32:37 (EDT)
According to trial testimony, Araujo was beaten and strangled after her biological identity was revealed during a confrontation on October 4, 2002, at Merel's house in Newark, a San Francisco suburb. Merel and Magidson had had sexual encounters with Araujo and had become suspicious about Araujo's gender after comparing notes, according to testimony.
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 16:19:29 (EDT)
somebody stuff a cheeseburger in this thing

USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 16:14:41 (EDT)
I'm issuing a lurk challenge to top this line...

imagine curling up with a Homeric Ding Dong
WiF the lurk-line-o-the-week
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 15:29:09 (EDT)
if she drinks with the top lips does it dribble out the bottom lips?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 15:25:22 (EDT)
you...ah...drinkin' again?

USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 14:56:50 (EDT)
...their client toppled off the toilet when it suddenly broke "whilst in normal use for the purposes for which it was installed,"
Eye Crapewe Negative
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 14:04:10 (EDT)
well it appears the X-Dames have improved their appearance, however, judging by their awesome mp3 list of megahits it's no wonder their following uses sign language.

deafness must have boosted their fanbase to near Fids levels.
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:38:16 (EDT)
chong=former high school gym teacher fired for undisclosed reasons
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:35:09 (EDT)
= Chongd
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:33:20 (EDT)
mix of energy & theatrics=bad high school physics teacher
Snizz
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:32:15 (EDT)
question: mix of energy & theatrics = energetic combination of dance and karate?
yeti
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:30:00 (EDT)
Is it true there is an X-Dames reunion with sum pitiful helium rockers the Lochness, fotting up the stage to open?
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:25:45 (EDT)
Lolla-fa-lop-a
WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:21:34 (EDT)
i'd rather eat bob seger's snot thanks.
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:21:17 (EDT)
Alternative metal band, Staind, rocks the Dunkin’ Donuts Center this summer with their mix of energy and theatrics. This will be the only stop in the Southern New England area for the local MA-based rockers.
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:18:56 (EDT)
oh it's possible dirty...it's possible...
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:16:31 (EDT)
doubting vic. have seen headliners am advertised as "up to a 50-minute live set" so the clock she'll be tickin'.....
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:15:49 (EDT)
I hear THAT, dirty. Wonder if they'll have an opening band.
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:12:53 (EDT)
thought it was sold out vic, but just did a quick search and cheepest i am found was like $84+...tony hawk should buy and serve my beer for $84.
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 13:08:35 (EDT)
anyone going to the X-Games at the "Dunk" on Saturday? I hear the Darkness is playing...
vic
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 12:33:47 (EDT)
angry bovine demise
Crotchfelt Jackoff Sindrum
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 12:26:49 (EDT)
meet the REAL Cappy

and the REAL Cappy on horseback (or whatever that blob is)

WiF don't take no crappy cappy
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 12:21:31 (EDT)
meet Cappy

USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 12:12:45 (EDT)
Um... hello? Any CAPPIES on this site wanna have sex with an old dude?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 12:08:56 (EDT)
good gravy vic, in the name of all that is good and holy, not to mention sir gawain and the green knight and their pet plant grendel, PLEASE keep it clean.
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 11:43:01 (EDT)
got rocket fuel?
yeti
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 11:39:53 (EDT)
vic
nick NAC paddy whack give the doggabone
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 11:36:37 (EDT)
All right, so it's not really broken but the doctor said it was on Saturday. So no more milking it for sympathy--except I have a few more days of wearing the goofy shoe (I don't think I'm a goofy foot--don't get much surfing in these days so I can't remember) and having people ask me what happened. Anyone have a good story I can use? Like maybe I was kidnapped by inept aliens who can't afford an anal probe?
WR
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 11:32:33 (EDT)
i am bet don needs a lozenge.
boris
- Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 10:53:39 (EDT)
I may have a hirsute, but this dude gotz a hair wardrobe

WiF
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 10:30:41 (EDT)
Jismnasium?
Coach
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 10:01:46 (EDT)
SPERM
lil willy wiggler
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 10:00:43 (EDT)
I expect all of you to attend.
Chong
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 07:41:19 (EDT)
MJ=HATE
Long Gone Chong
USA - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 02:57:45 (EDT)
what about me, KOL?
WR
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 20:06:45 (EDT)
CHONG=SPERM
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 19:58:21 (EDT)
chong=falsetto
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 19:03:39 (EDT)
KOL, does your new band plan on practicing more than once a fortnight? Cause if you haven't heard these pipes yet, you havent lived.
Long Gone Chong
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 19:02:27 (EDT)
So the other day I was out swimming with a sperm whale...oh, sorry
WR
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:59:54 (EDT)
don't say 'sperm' on this forum
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:18:08 (EDT)
Let's just say me and my rotten ole sperm "got around", WiF. KOL, let's hope that at least the stage was dark because that's the only way 25W gonna make an "impact"
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:12:24 (EDT)
That is the best stage lighting I have *ever* seen. Actually, at Jake's one time, there was a nearly identical lamp sporting a red bulb in to the right of my mic stand. Good thing it was only a 25w bulb.
KOL
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:06:01 (EDT)
Does that mean MJ fathered some basteds in O Can-ada?
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:05:42 (EDT)
vic blue light special?
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 18:03:44 (EDT)
Although ole MJ did some pretty hard time in oh Canada, don't think I got any bad guys named after me. Just a few bastard kids of ADORING fans.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 17:52:16 (EDT)
Did MJ put in enough canuck time to qualify for the L&O bad guy list?
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 17:39:31 (EDT)
Hersh drops another bomb
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 17:25:32 (EDT)
ok ok I'll "sing"
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 17:19:19 (EDT)
Listen, I am trying to put together a bad ass rocknfucking roll band and the gittar and drums positions are set. We need a bassist and a singer, cuz I dont feel like singing. Please be Eric from the New Bomb Turks.
The (living) King of Yellow Les Paul Juniors in the New England Area
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:59:14 (EDT)
sweet jesus that guy had a bigger crowd than we did
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:56:42 (EDT)
you be the judge!!!
Or THIS
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:35:29 (EDT)
yeah, Vic, THIS...
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:34:20 (EDT)
Yah Vic. Besides, fuckin' DWI tore it up Friday night.
SNEAKer Kinney
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:27:23 (EDT)
Umm... one more thing, like the dude who threw the concert actually thought that people would rather go hear mus!c when the fucking USAF THUNDERBIRDS were in town?
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:20:52 (EDT)
Vic, when the fuck is that stupid excuse of the OTHER b@nd of yours gonna learn that playing IN is the way to go? WTF?
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:19:10 (EDT)
Hwy WiF, I'lll go to the movie with ya but you gotta buy the Dots®
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:17:23 (EDT)
Download THIS without my consent, Beastie Boys.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:16:04 (EDT)
yet another reason to despise the yeastie boyz
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:13:11 (EDT)
was reading band's website boards and giggling all weekend. i am guess waiting six years for 42 whole minutes of product doesn't suck enough.
boris
- Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:13:04 (EDT)
"MediaMax M4 is a collection of digital content security technologies that provides copy control for CDs, while simultaneously enhancing and expanding the consumer's entertainment experience. MediaMax is tightly integrated with Microsoft's (NASDAQ:MSFT) Windows Media Platform and the Digital Rights Management capabilities associated with the latest Windows Media Platforms. SunnComm licenses and uses Windows Media Audio DRM capabilities from Microsoft as the security feature for these multimedia files." Beastie Boys new cd contains this software which installs without your consent.
WR
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 16:08:59 (EDT)
NO PAPERS! Schultz, throw him in the cooler!
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 15:08:23 (EDT)
well vic, if i am, then no. fork 'em. more beer for this third-trimester i call a stomach.
boris
- Monday, June 21, 2004 at 14:54:39 (EDT)
I know it's not exactly the airshow. But the film does have a couple of planes, and I understand they make quite a splash in Manhattan.
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 14:29:29 (EDT)
Shall we plan meet in the meat fer the premier? Friday is the kickoff, but considering that is the beginning of the sacred beer cycle perhaps a Sat or Sun matinee? We can hurl junior mints at the prez and then hurl junior mints in the aisle.

WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 14:25:30 (EDT)
it always seemed there was a strong long-pigs/kegs connection to me, but maybe the rules are different west of the border.
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 14:19:16 (EDT)
but aren't PEOPLE supposed to be at keg parties?
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 14:01:20 (EDT)
oh wait! there WAS a keg and it had BEER in it!
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 13:48:35 (EDT)
what vic no keg?
boris
- Monday, June 21, 2004 at 13:35:46 (EDT)
ok, I'll meet ya at NAC
vic
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:49:11 (EDT)
HAHAHA.now THAT's funny. Sorry Vic, you missed some badass iron for that shiz. KOL, I got you a little somethin' at the airshow. Wif, I got you nothing. WR, so sorry. Boris, blow me.
MJ®
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:47:09 (EDT)
Vic's gig=

USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:41:21 (EDT)
Watch out MJ n Doff. This real woman is going to be in the area saturday for the BMW 'Test Drive to Fight Cancer'.
KOL
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:27:50 (EDT)
this is cute AND stylish
WiF it
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:22:41 (EDT)
Proof that test flights are not for the faint of fot
"Melvill said he heard a loud bang during the flight and did not know what it was. But he pointed to a place at the rear of the spacecraft where a part of the structure covering the nozzle had buckled, suggesting it may have been the source of the noise."
...it does explain the brown streak down the center of the runway after the landing
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:18:32 (EDT)
this is cute
click it
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:16:12 (EDT)
now where did i put my top????

USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:12:28 (EDT)
at about 50,000 feet, the White Knight will release SpaceShipOne, whose pilot will fire a rocket, powered by rubber and laughing gas, for about 80 seconds.
sounds like a party
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 12:09:00 (EDT)
sorry 'bout that foot-bone, WR...you'll be glad to know the CT "gig" was a complete [see picture]

USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 11:57:19 (EDT)
BTW- the real airshow took off a couple of hours ago.

WiF my stratosphere
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 11:22:27 (EDT)
Saw Ms Foot-foot (extremely obscure mus!c ref) betwixt not going to the air show and not making the k-ball. Pride appeared more wounded than footy. It appears I'm semi-officially a k-baller (no relation to k-ballard) of the Real Yankees ilk. Will be facing off against defecators next weekend. Am currently looking for appropriate poofy blouse & pantaloons, and a lid of the tri-pointed ilk (already have fish for realistic codpiece)
WiF
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 11:17:58 (EDT)
#151515
Snack McLuncheonpants
USA - Monday, June 21, 2004 at 07:20:33 (EDT)
In the middle of a thunderstorm, 3:30am Saturday dogs were in a barking argument about who was most frightened & therefore deserved space in the one kennel. Most rudely disturbed by incessant noise from downstairs and finding that yelling for them to shut the fvck up was ineffective, I stumbled out of bed and made for the stairs. Instead of heeding my instincts to turn on the lights, I bravely embarked in the pitch black down the stairs. About halfway down my foot encountered one of Z's rope toys. I slipped on it, my toe buckled under my foot and I fell a few stairs down. Having broken same foot, same bone only last year, I knew I did it again (said Britney). Doc confirmed next morning on xray only the break is in a different place. Last year I fell off my clogs while walking the dogs. Yeah, I know I'm an idiot. Am now rethinking lack of superstition about breaking a mirror Thursday night. Car windows then broken foot, what next?
WR
USA - Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 22:06:02 (EDT)
Wouldn't it be nice if we all could walk down to our nearest newsagent and purchase a paper whose Art Section critiques not only The Stone Roses but The Clash, Massive Attack, Public Image Limited, and Van Morrison without blushing!! All I had on offer this morning was a review of the new Travis Twitt record and a peak at Hiliary's duff......
Martin Hannett
Hades, USA - Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 20:37:32 (EDT)
Holy ScHmIdT!
#5
- Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 20:10:12 (EDT)
Ian Hunter is touring. Do any lurkers know where he got his stage name? My guess, unconfirmed: from the guy who played King Arthur in the old but still awesome Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn, Olivia DeHaviland, Basil Rathbone etc? Bet Don from Johnston knows.
boris
- Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 11:55:04 (EDT)
WR, glad to hear the foot is not entirely broken. Still hurts like a bastard doesn't it? How long fro recovery? How'd you do it? Or don't ask...? Glad to hear that KOL's white tee shirt has finally become dirty enough for them to let him be a Defacatur Defender. Airshow's on again today. I'm riding my bike in tribute to the QOC who gets there that way. See you there in a whhelchair?
MJ®
USA - Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 11:09:33 (EDT)
We really are nothing like the British, are we? The Stone Roses number one again in England
WR
USA - Sunday, June 20, 2004 at 10:12:52 (EDT)
have decided to drop the boris and adopt the heblew name molesther.
the fottist formerly known as boris
- Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 23:23:21 (EDT)
Aye, mateys, that would be mine foot. Only the 5th metatarsal is slightly fractured in a buckled kinda way--bulging bones...mmmmm... Did not play kball but attended game in a supportive manner by sitting on bench with other cheerleaders and backing the QOC's coaching efforts. KOL made a fine player tho...and burritos were enjoyed by all
WR
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 22:06:20 (EDT)
Boris, Wif, why you be breakin' them kids foots?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 18:25:39 (EDT)
Good bloody LORD SIR. A broken FOOT? Does that mean the kickball's off tonight too? Jesus. DAMN. I lurked around the business end of the C-5 for an hour and then realized that maybe, just maybe, somebody broke a foot and couldn't make it. You missed a good time. I got number 5s autograv- and not Arroyo's eithe. rI'm sorry about the foot. Motorcyclist or Librarian?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 18:22:01 (EDT)
I am neither here not there.
WiF
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 17:02:14 (EDT)
REGRET TO INFORM LURK THAT WE WILL NOT BE ATTENDING TODAY'S AIRSHOW DUE TO A BROKEN FOOT.
KOL n WR
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 12:38:35 (EDT)
am not, thanks be to dog. was only ballbreaking w/ the guy when i saw the sign. here's one for you on the throne joe: http://www.holyobserver.com/detail.php?isu=v01i04&art=mac
boris
- Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 10:32:18 (EDT)
ummm what happens when a real man wakes up with the runs and he's go to go to an airfield with no toilets today...?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 at 10:26:42 (EDT)
that MJ dude sounds kind of HORNY
as in
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 19:05:21 (EDT)
for some reason the mister too-late-for-rogaine at the pharmacy counter didn't appreciate my 'hillbilly heroin' oxycontin reference. subsequently, asked for all kinds of ID including comparing my passport with my old URI summer school ID from like '98. thought he was gonna don the latex and check my prostate for a got-dam VIN number. so i was pretty much forced to say "yes sir the doc told me to take these droogs even after i told the doc i already *had* droogs and mine were better." some people on fridays, lemme tell ya....
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:56:14 (EDT)
good sweet mother lovin' tidin'
yeti
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:31:54 (EDT)
Well I best be off. Good luck to you Vic and your band of merryman during tomorrow's recital. We'll think of you and LAUGH as we fight our way through 35,000 sweaty plebes waiting in lines for porta johns. Boris, stay clean.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:28:02 (EDT)
Sweet, warm death, make love to me tonight.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:25:08 (EDT)
How come no one told me that the chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency's name was Dick Pound? How come?

USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:24:26 (EDT)
you mean the quick sweet loving embrace of Death?
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:23:52 (EDT)
If only I could be so lucky. Imagine a pilotless A-10 Warthog hurtling it's way towards your skull and swiftly and entertainingly taking you out.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:21:33 (EDT)
just watch yourself out there

USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:10:11 (EDT)
Well at least that's just about the time the skeets start biting. Hey look on the brightside. Maybe some drunk sluts will show up and "get busy" if you know what I mean.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:04:28 (EDT)
4:30pm
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 18:00:52 (EDT)
And Vic, my offer to kill WiF stands for you too. If you'd rather be beheaded than pl@y at 2:30 in the afternoon in some shit steamer's backyard, I can do the deed.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:55:22 (EDT)
sounds awe-right wid me, MJ. See ya tomorrow--enjoy your lukewarm keg beer, Vic
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:55:08 (EDT)
meet ya by the keg at high noon!
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:54:42 (EDT)
Also, LUCKY with the '95 Camry!
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:54:05 (EDT)
I'm back. who missed me? anyway, WR I'm gonna try to hit the Gansett beach thing tonight if'n the onion's okay. But if i don't see youse how's about 2pm out under the ole C-5 galaxy? Not sure the Cerrone Goriila's making a lice picking stop at Quonset this year so don't wanna chance that as a meeting place. Oh and Boris, thanks for the ups to the onion.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:53:00 (EDT)
that little bakerette looks like she wants to spread some butter...
bakezoid
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:38:25 (EDT)
ya all windows done and done. power lock driver's side done--passenger side still works. can lock & unlock all from outside with key.
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:23:39 (EDT)
look at the guns on this one!:

i likes me yabos crusty!!!

and my fish bizarre..

and this is the best band name ever-'Bump of Chicken' groupies crash through concert floor

and i thought my ex was nuts..
Cops Search For Tongue After Kiss
The woman, who had been drinking with her boyfriend, told police she doesn't remember what happened to the end of his tongue. Police estimate that it measured about 1.5 inches.
She might have swallowed it, the woman said.
my 2 cents
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 17:21:13 (EDT)
on window situation- Are all the windows kaput? check the fuses first. Might be switches fvked too, sum involve less rippage than others to replace. If the problem is in the door, you'll probably want to pass the job to Joe the mechanic (no relation to Joe the cab driver). FYL- I pretended to do auto gl@ss at Cerrito's for several years.
WiF loves his crank
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:44:49 (EDT)
did someone say quonset hut with eyes?
Mark
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:36:34 (EDT)
For those doing the quonset geeg, beware of low-flying surly mother buzzards
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:36:12 (EDT)
Someone say my name?
Mark
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:29:25 (EDT)
maybe while surfing and surfing surfers will be able to access practical solutions to shark attacks
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:27:59 (EDT)
damn that lil red wagon. power windows won't go back up--can't wait for the rain to start. anyone have a manual for a 95 camry?
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:26:28 (EDT)
mark? are we on the amistad thing again
ruby in the rough
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:17:36 (EDT)
has anyone seen that ol' softie "Muddy Briefs" lately?
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:15:45 (EDT)
you will be in CT drinking keg beer, mark my words
yeti
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 16:14:49 (EDT)
HUH? I'ma goin' ta da beach 2nite @6:30-7pm. How's 'bout in front of da cabanas? Latah will be at Ocean Mist singin' along wid da dead Joe Strummah, QOC, Ms. HJY, KOL, & various others. Evening includes appearances by former Backwash members Mr. Complete Blurr and Senor Statewide Mortgage accompanied by The Kid & some udder guy. Perhaps a little get tagethah in betwixt at Casa Regulah. Quonset will see me tomorree--definitely not Connecticunt! Whoops, did I just say that? 1pm meet ups? Where you say?
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:56:58 (EDT)
yeti get a-head?
hed the hed
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:41:15 (EDT)
are you suggesting i...get ahead of the class? dirty, that "gig" is tomorrow afternoon...so you have a choice...airshow at some quonset hut (WITH eyes) or keg beer in the middle of nowhere with a walking quonset hut with eyes; you decide
yeti
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:39:35 (EDT)
and yes KoL miscellaneous boris flunkies did am laugh at boris trying to fit those syllables in with that clash melody. awesome.
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:27:19 (EDT)
yo yeti, heady had the head in the duffle bag an hour ago. try and keep up with the rest of the class.
heady's agent
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:26:26 (EDT)
and all the yanquis are horrified right up until they sit down with that new 10-piece "Dale Junior Bucket".
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:23:23 (EDT)
they deheaded Johnson
yeti
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:17:26 (EDT)
enforce THIS enforcer!
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 15:12:59 (EDT)
I would but I see you've already been blown
The Enforcer
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:48:36 (EDT)
fuck the airshow, let's drink all the keg beer we possibly can and listen to mediocre music!
yeti
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:47:44 (EDT)
blow me enforcer
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:38:20 (EDT)
KOL, didn't you just see the no-music-post policy?
tattle the tailor
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:33:19 (EDT)
Forecast: overcast with a chance of car bombing. Light gunfire expected this evening with a 90% chance of RPG attack slowing up your commute.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:32:09 (EDT)
Whoo clash tribute! I am going to get all the words wrong on purpose at the top of my lungs. ie "WHITE REBEL, HES A REBEL, WHITE REBEL, SO AMOROUS."
KOL
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:30:52 (EDT)
kinda had to happen
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:30:35 (EDT)
mega-ups to Onion
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:27:53 (EDT)
I remember the onion when he was just a little shallot
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:20:46 (EDT)
alright, the kid is hallucinating it's raining cats and dogs, but we're supposed to believe they didn't score dope from dumbo
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:19:26 (EDT)
MJ have to step away from the lurk for few hours. What's the word on the airshow and who's goin' and who's meeting who where and is anybody going to Narragansett tonight/
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:17:22 (EDT)
WiF's entry in the Integrity contest

USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:15:56 (EDT)
Not Brad O’Brien of Jon Tierney and the Truth?! Mother of GOD I am SO THERE
Namor®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:14:04 (EDT)
what's the longest you ever waited for an elevator?
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:09:06 (EDT)
another head in the duffle bag
heady lamarr
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:03:15 (EDT)
you do realize that backwards that is EPMNSB?

- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 14:02:21 (EDT)
Not you WiF, the other cretin afore ye
BSNMPE
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:54:33 (EDT)
That last post was a blatant disregard for the no mus!c, no mus!c promotion policy on the lurk.
BS NO-MUSIC POLICY ENFORCER
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:53:23 (EDT)
Did I mention that Joe the cab driver made us dress up before driving down integrity road?

and here is one of the shining stars of the indoctrination session. Before Joe the cab driver drove him down integrity road this was a 47 year old man with receding hairline and a sense of dignity.

WiF the html leper
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:53:00 (EDT)
OK, so many of you have been to Satyr’s semi-annual feelgood afternoon delight gatherings at his house in Plainfield, Connecticut. Well, I’m happy to say that you can plan on it again. The house is 45 minutes west of Providence, an easy hike out Route 6. Obviously, there will be good music, at least a half-dozen bands and, for $5 per person . . . well, it just doesn’t get any better, even if you do need to buy some repellent to keep the chiggers from chowin’ on you. The fee includes all the beer you can drink and some food platters. And there’s plenty of parking, we’re told. The site is six houses down the road at a huge Park & Ride just off 395. The first band starts at 1:30 and the last will hit the stage at 6:30 p.m., which oughta give your mojo plenty of time to get to work. The keg will be tapped at noon. Slugworth (2:30), Three Speed Amplifier (3:30), the Motormags (4:30), Brad O’Brien of Jon Tierney and the Truth, Fred Mossberg of Radio Wallpaper, and a few other surprise guests are on the slate. Call Satyr with party questions and favor suggestions. He doesn’t mind. The home number is (860) 564-4209; the cell is (860) 230-6454. A rain date applies only if there’s inclement weather of biblical proportions. If you plan on attending, e-mail the host at Satyrfreeway@hotmail.com to get on the list and specify the number of guests.
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:44:13 (EDT)
Vic. WR is right, if you felt fit and tomed and on top of your game, you wouldn't have needed to drive at all. In fact, myself, I sprinted to work and did some jumping jacks when I got here. Must have been the NAC from yesterday!
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:32:55 (EDT)
Start walking
WR
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:14:53 (EDT)
middleblob is such a fucking gotdamn pit...construction whores...it took 15 minutes to drive a 10 second stretch of asphalt this a.m.; there I said it
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:12:53 (EDT)
chong, please stay. WtF, there's a new language called HTML_eper. it rots like timmy. vic, am weigh 221 but was fully clothed so it depends on the weight of taffeta. KoL the sox WILL win the east despite don. nice weekend everyone.....
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:06:13 (EDT)
I once owned a 1983 944. Bought for $1800, sold for $1200, needing a ton of work. Good old metallic brown with brown interior with checkerboard seats. Leaked rainwater from every window and also the hatch. lots of fun to drive, not very fast. one headlight would flip up, the other had lazy eye and had to be raised and lowered manually. Coulda been really nice if I knew what I was doing and had about $4000 to fix. Instead I just drove it...through a Maine winter back and forth from school to the ski area i worked at every damn day. what a turd.
KOL, ashamed.
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 13:05:26 (EDT)
boy do I feel REFRESHED and FIT and ABLE
vic
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:43:48 (EDT)
MJ, if I dishonor your VW Porch, will you kill me (for free) before Joe the cab driver takes me for a ride down integrity road again?
WiFbot
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:41:43 (EDT)
two chong news items

The man pushed two elderly people off their bikes and, flashing his sword, shouted at them to leave the forest.

"They should not have sprayed bullets at them just because they have bad morality,"
WiFbot
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:38:27 (EDT)
Please say the fids are not playing with john brennan. Please say it.
PS
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:25:39 (EDT)
I did it. I bought a Porsche.
MJ®'s brother in law
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:24:59 (EDT)
Yeah well thanks. When the baby does come I'm going to give up posting on this board so I can focus more on my job. You know "give up the funny for the money". Besides, I think we can all agree that my lurk status has burned out as fast as it heated up. My stuff just isn't there anymore. As a matter of fact this is my last post. It was nice knowing you all. Maybe I'll see you around. But probably not. Keep it real....
Chong
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:23:41 (EDT)
Chong too bad you are having a baby and you can't go to the airshow. I am still trying to blow whoever I can to get some vips and if I get them you will be so sorry you decided to have baby instead
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:15:11 (EDT)
Ok airshow peeps have fun. If you happen to see an old guy with a spitfire in his crotch, tell him my english has improved over the last two years. Now I know what cockpit really means.
Chong
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:11:58 (EDT)
Now who's knitting what at the airshow? Sounds like an item Mean Joe needs to buy. Can't wait to scream ASS LICK FUCK SUCK DICK at the top of my lungs in public during the Harrier demo
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:09:45 (EDT)
Whoever heard of a cab driver named joe anyway.....
Chong
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:09:41 (EDT)
PS=not to self, MEAN JOE is not MJ®. Sure that's my name but not my signoff. I love my boss. I'll let him ride down my dirt integrity road anytime.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:06:51 (EDT)
"Joe the cab driver took us on a ride down integrity road" =the worst fucking aspect of this long pig cluster fuck known as human life I have ever heard in my 53 years on this planet as a dumb white fuck dealing with the fucking man who produces such fucking shit for other long pigs to learn from. Wif, i will kill you now to save you from further pain.
MJ®
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 12:04:32 (EDT)
Hey if that lady airplane is at the show and she's still knitting all those little airplane outfits and making John the father airplane all nervous, tell her to keep her legs closed for a change!
Chong U.S.
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:54:32 (EDT)
That font is as screwed up as my breath is frozen. And my breath is very frozen.
Icy Pete
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:49:44 (EDT)
even ray charles can see that html fvkup
little lord FONTelroy
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:43:28 (EDT)
I did not see that one coming.
Ray Charles
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:34:26 (EDT)
Hi. I'm new here! Who is the hot chick in the picture?
Chris
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:15:38 (EDT)
weay?
alphabot
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:08:21 (EDT)
I don't see anything in the Stepford handbook about html fvkups. I'll have to find another weay to get so fired.
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:07:53 (EDT)
oops, slip-o-the font
WiF
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:02:56 (EDT)
recap of yesterday's indoctrination (only our speaker was less colorful)

+ = GIANT jpeg INSIDE
WiFbot
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:01:04 (EDT)
Big news for top band! True Story!!!
Awesome! Records Inc.
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 11:00:33 (EDT)
bunkOmerico/fleece merger---->sell off of mortgage biz to Stepford Mortgage Co... and they threw me in on the deal. Talk about losing the negotiation.
WiFbot towing the company line
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:55:44 (EDT)
Asswaste????!!!!!!
DOn Doff
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:52:43 (EDT)
13 hours till I become an official WiFbot of the Stepford ilk
WiFbot fetal matter
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:51:24 (EDT)
Cussin' is encouraged at my job. Too bad my boss is such an asswaste.
Mean Joe
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:49:23 (EDT)
why cant little timmy speak?
iron
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:35:56 (EDT)
One Hundred hours and counting until I become a Southern New England resident again...
Iron Chef of Mattapoisett
Outtahere, DE USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:35:33 (EDT)
I never did fill the lurk in on yesterday's Stepford Mortgage indoctrination session. Four hours, YES FOUR FRIKKA FRAKKIN HOURS!, of listening to cheshire-smiled motivational refuse tell us how swell it was going to be working for less benefits manacled to our 2x2 cells... I mean desks. Highlights included a half hour Stepford Mortgage produced film in which Joe the cab driver took us on a ride down integrity road. I crap you negative. Joe the cab driver... a ride down integrity road... no it seems just as surreal when I repeat it. Did I mention they actually spent ten minutes explaining that cussing wasn't allowed and how to go about getting somebody's azz so fired for said cussing?
a stepford WiFbot
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 10:31:47 (EDT)
Doods, can I start?
Lenny "Squiggy" DiNardo
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 09:36:39 (EDT)
Listen, I'm far too normal and way too much of a boring regular guy to engage in anything so controversial as lurking. I must maintain my boring regular guy non confrontational status. Do you understand?
Tec
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 09:23:42 (EDT)
thuuuuuuuhhhhhhh yankees suck.

- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 06:51:06 (EDT)
note to the BSTC: please check the server logs and determine which players on the red sox are not accessing the lurk a sufficient number of times. it is quite clear to me that singling them out for abuse (or, less-frequently, praise) almost uniformly produces positive results. i have a feeling that that varitek fellow is slacking on his lurkdom, insofar as he still cannot throw out a fat one-legged guy trying to steal home. he needs to modify his lurking habits now. regardless of whether his stupid agent scott bor@SS advises him to. thank you. yankees suck.
boris
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 06:44:59 (EDT)
I am NOT on steroids. They give you back and leg zits, and make your dickie too quickie. I do however enjoy the occasional NAC workout, and very much look forward to hitting knuckleballs 900 feet tonight.
Barry Bondo
- Friday, June 18, 2004 at 06:22:26 (EDT)
Ruby topaz = father of little timmy.
Chong
USA - Friday, June 18, 2004 at 03:29:02 (EDT)
Oh no, I just saw Ruby Topaz on Comedy Central doing an ad for Internal Arts--tai chi. Someone help me!
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 23:09:09 (EDT)
Boy do I feel REFRESHED and FIT and on TOP OF MY GAME since I went to NAC today at 1000 hours!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 19:37:40 (EDT)
d lowe....STOPPAH
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 18:56:06 (EDT)
good damn day, lurk...see ya down at the ol' Steel Horse Saloon...
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 17:52:38 (EDT)
do they have crotchless nickers at nacers?
the remove the silent K guy
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 17:40:31 (EDT)
that's "kNACkered"
Webster
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 17:03:13 (EDT)
hmmm...no MJ today...she must be really NACered...
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:45:59 (EDT)
and vic, it's never to soon to dishonor your toilet
WiF before flushing new jersey
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:37:49 (EDT)
apologies to WR for her anal constriction problems interfering WiF here perusal of said lurk.
WiF
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:36:58 (EDT)
Here's a handy pdf flyer of the 237 lies the bush junta used before the qWagmire.
WiF of a war crimes trial
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:34:59 (EDT)
The Ruby/MJ cross breed is made of get-below-me-and-blown-me gl@ss, g@y @ss variety, of course.
WiF afta da pinch
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:32:50 (EDT)
honor Chong now, dishonor toilet later
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 16:13:17 (EDT)
BTW, had a cusabi chicken sangwich last night in honor of Chong
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 15:47:13 (EDT)
Trade Varitek for Dennis Tek. Kerrranggggg!!!!!!!!
The Sneak
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 15:06:33 (EDT)
games back? FIVE
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 14:58:54 (EDT)
not teeth neither. definitely a horse's adze.
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 14:49:47 (EDT)
No way that was a horse! You and I know it was the dreaded chupacabra!
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 14:39:13 (EDT)
I'm dead meat when BJ shows up.
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 14:01:18 (EDT)
TUCSON, Arizona (AP) -- The mysterious slashings of at least 17 horses' throats at a guest ranch last year have been solved, but no one will be charged, officials said. The culprit: another horse. The weapon: teeth. Investigators had suspected a person was trying to kill the horses because the jagged wounds were always near the vital jugular vein and happened late at night. The wounds, which were 1 to 4 inches long and about an inch deep, began appearing last July. The case was cracked when an employee of the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch finally caught a horse biting another in the throat, Pima County sheriff's officials said Wednesday. The slashings ceased when the suspected equine was isolated in another corral.
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:53:22 (EDT)
This lurk is gettin' lurkive heavy...not to mention the return of the prodigal son...Little Timmy.
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:49:21 (EDT)
ahh...ten pounds lighter and 7 years younger...
BSTC
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:30:41 (EDT)
had i met the bacon double chee, mr dirty, i assure you it would not've stood a snowballs chance
weti
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:19:47 (EDT)
At least we'll have the decency to get swept without making people stay up late again.
Grady Francona
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:07:46 (EDT)
Isn't Mr Cervenka (Edge) one of the Original Sinners doods? Hmmm. Didn't know that. Such an informative lurk.
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 13:04:29 (EDT)

Dotes
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:43:32 (EDT)
EXENE is a librarian too
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:24:36 (EDT)
vic you realize i'm way more concerned aboot the fate of that bacon double cheese....
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:20:24 (EDT)
weti?
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:10:20 (EDT)
'hate' is a strong word
wet yeti
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:08:22 (EDT)
Pot-head grizzly? Has WiF been out west recently?
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:07:17 (EDT)
excuses, excuses. Just admit it, you hate going to the jimnasyum
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:00:38 (EDT)
i take it the BoTox lost again...MJ, sorry about non-NAC this a.m., I had a leaky situation at the Yeti Cave...
vic
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 11:54:00 (EDT)
DLowe, stopper. Is too you boys. My friend installed 2-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. Came to the door in a dress.
boris
- Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 11:37:01 (EDT)
I'm going to guess 7 back at the all star break. Still waiting for Varitek to throw someone out stealing, still waiting for them to hit into less than 4 double plays per game with men in scoring position...
KOL
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 11:24:02 (EDT)
Let me know when the batting percentage gets over 200 with the bases loaded. Talk about chOakland.
Doff
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 10:47:30 (EDT)
So over a year ago a grateful storyhour mother gave our childrens' librarian a parting gift after the session ended. It consisted of a vase filled with water, a peace plant, and a siamese fighting fish. Being librarians, we had to name the fish something literary. We called him Grendel. I don't think the Grendel of old English oral tradition was blue but that doesn't really matter, does it? Surprisingly, Grendel is still alive today (unlike the first plant which I killed dead--like so many other plants in my care). This morning I realized that I had not changed his water or fed him this week (usually done Tuesday but was distracted by designing a bulletin board). Don't worry, he's fine & happy. How do I know? Well, I talk to him and he responds by staring at me and fluttering his fins. OK, I'm done but I just wanted you all to know that I should have been a veterinarian or animal psychic.
WR
USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 10:20:49 (EDT)
grunt !

Name Of Your Band
How Many People Do You Draw?
Can We Use Your Amps?
Do You Have Strong Onstage Banter?
Phone (day):
Phone (evening):
Fax:
E-mail Address:
Tell Us Why You Deserve To Play With The F.I.D.'s
Has YOUR band been on MRR's top ten list?
Have You Ever Commited a Sex Crime?
Would you like pre-taped applause in your monitors?
When do you want to play?
Where do you want to play?
Can you pay our $500 appearance fee up front?
Other Questions and Comments:

lurkive 17jun-30jul04